x. BEN DAN ZHU TOU .x

2006-08-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

This blog contains too much memories of the past.
I keep them as memories and let this be it.
Someone new entered my life. I`m not keen to look behind at past. That`s the end to this blog for now.

i love my xBabYx TigGeR .. since 170806

irritating..

2006-08-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

I`ve planned everything. even writing out recipe. but guess it`s just not the time? lolx. nvm.. i shall make up another time bahx. hmmx.

Friday gonna make triffle. it`s a dessert. gonna make it till damm beautiful~ just like the recipe. hahas. hoppe will turn out nice lohx =p

tired today. after school come home lie on bed sms dear. then go hougang do facial. pain pain pain !! icass say skin too dry. then cox weather hot mahx.. hmmx.. dehydrated skin jiu dui liao.. then did the diamond peel thingiee.. then.. put mask.. before mask is something which is DAMM painful ahh! like adding salt to wound zz.

then when i`m trynig out waxing stuff, 1st thing i did was like "ahh~" then this woman.. from beside me.. "ah yoo~ bu yao jiao dao zhe yang zi lehx.." was like... WADDA~ 0.0
then...... my face has pokedots ahh !! sobx !! ugly enough liao le.. go facial.. more ugly le -.- somemore tmr going out lehx !! sobx !! tired day. xing hao got dear dear pei me sms. grats ^^ she passed her physics..

hoppe she dun sick le. recover soon. no i`m not going to nag again -.-
dunno wan go her frien de hse warming not lehx. so many ppl 0.0
my face~ my god !! -.- bu xi guan lehx.. but like.. my friends she oso come down.. hmx..

think jovern really kiam pa. -.- call me ytd 1am+ tok till 2 am+ tok bout stead. zz.

talked to my baby tigger online. this is like.. the 1st time we talked so much? hmmx.. i`ll remember what made me cried tonight. it`s not sad then cry de. it`s cox i`m touched. for me she thought of doing such.. ermmx.. how to say.. normally ppl won give it up cos of their gf. but.. she did think of it.. i didn`t expect her to love me that much actually. ^^ dunno why but i love her alot lolx. i care bout everything she said lahhx.. ^^

loves her loads. ^^

today is the day~

2006-08-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

SinYing is currently attached and unavaliable. FOR REAL.
hmmx.. and it`s like.. early in the morning 8.53 am !! but she said it`s 9 am. -.- zz. suppose to give an answer at 4 pm. but then i didn`t wait till that long. lolx. hmmx.. ^^

Oral. zz. i went like "err..." then.. "leh lah loh" oso came out !! omg~ if i fail, i`ll know why. sob !!
after that, went home, suppose to study with val, yk, baby and my dear. but then !! they dun wanna come. zz. i called shaun, steady !! woo~ he came. lolx. my baby at first also dun wan cox.. scare she extra. but in the end she came. ^^

did maths. but dear dun wanna do maths. -.-' keep changing what she was doing. zz. talk talk on phone with da jie. BLAH BLAH BLAH. then talk to someone from aus. then.. the one from aus was like.. so excited to hear me. -.- hmms.. well.. lolx.

and then.. blah blah blah~ then.. i realised i didn`t submit my photo for the practical coursework thingie. it`s of no use now :( and so.. MY DEAR STOLE IT HOME~ wahkaka.

shhh~ my mom thought she`s boy. and treat HIM as one. -.- mom ask if HE was my stead. haha. my mom suddenly clever liao. lolx. sis asked bout HIM too. lol~
had a hard time learning how to pronounce dear de name. lolx. sowee ahh. eng not good mahx !! :( think i past mom de test. hahaha~

hmmx.. loner.. haiix.. i bwg bout it. don`t wanna say. zz.
see my dear chat on phone with her.. a bit scary =x
a bit gia gia.. hmmx.. 1055pm liao. wonder she reach home liao not. hmmx...

tmr going facial after sch~ 4 pm. then.. sat going suntec with yk they all mayb -.-

ooh yah !! someone help me with onions!! i wanna cook the dishes i cooked in the practical for my dear. but..... i dun wanna put my house on fire :( wait till i figue out how!! muahaha~

oh my god. sinying`s a bit gaga again? =x

hmmx..

2006-08-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Grats dear for winning bball match today. ^^ 66-58 isit? i forgotten le. sorry!! was sleeping then dunno dream bout what jiu woke up. then after that u called. hahax. psps. Hmmx.. ytd slept late ooh. today late wake up. rest well!~

hmmx.. I WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL !! lolx. 2 hrs detention !! sob! but i didn`t go. went see doc today. qiu yan acc me go de. hmmx. not much things to blog..

MR LEMON !! u`re the most bored b a ever knew -.-

SINYING GOT NEW NICE NAME FROM MR LEMON.
MISS CANDY. -.-

aww~
idert val. ask u buy me prezzie den gimme in sch. but then same sch as me. SADDENED! but it wld be nice ahh !
will someone get me prezzie den stand outside my gate and shout "HAPPY BDAY~" ? -.-
suddenly feel like having surprises. lolx.!! mad me.

anyway.. going sleep. NIGHTX!

well well.. ^^

2006-08-14T05:04:00.000-07:00

What`s so unbelieveable about it ? lolx.. it`s up to u if u wanna take it seriously or leave it. i`ve explained enough though..hmmx..

Lately, val and yk they all so much probs wor.. miaoling de thingiee. the sembawang de thingiee. the ABC de thingiee. again and again -.- this year what happen sia~ for me is r/s de stuff wasted my time. for my friend is waiting for someone she loves. for val they all is gangsters de probs. wadda hell. hahahax. all these is a waste of time.

Maths paper was terrible. english paper was the same. i can`t seemed to concentrate reading the comprehension passage at all !! i was hypnotized by the words. -.- In the end all i did was, look at the questions and then search for the answer, without reading the whole passage. i didn`t understand anything from the passage. i think, no one does really understand the whole thing. Maths was worst !! i only did the 1st page where algebra was. then the rest was 'nearly' blank. i didn`t know how to do anything. After the exams we`ve gotta stay in school. i slept for awhile, them was MATHS ! -.- mr.soon asked me how was the test. i was wondering, WHY ASK ME !?! -.-
In the end, he gave us other school`s past year exam papers. guess where`s it from? last one he gave was chinese high school. -.- i didn`t bother to do. now it`s RAFFLES INSTITUTION. omg.

Tmr`s social studies and physics for me. i didn`t even bother to bring home my physics stuff. i have social studies textbook with me, but, not reading it. Today`s my last few hours which i can do something to my coursework. atleast, do on further research or further development. zz. lazy to do so. YK HELP ME DO~ since u`ve learnt how to. hahax.

hmmx. i`ve said it le. i don`t want to think bout too much of r/s. i don`t want to fall in again for goodness sake. don`t tell me u won`t hurt me blah blah blah. it`s of no use at all. It`s quite hard for me to fall for 'cute cute' bungs unless i know them inside out. which i rarely do so. -.-

Don`t know why latey, the bungs i know de ht range all so big difference. tallest i know is 185. then jump to 155. hmmx.. HUIFEN told me got a place, a bung, 170+.. woohoo~ then very cute de. kaka. i wanna go see see. but lazy -.- hahax.

I`m so single now lahx wadda hell. -.-
A bit bu xi guan liaox. Going to flirt ard like i used to. lolx~ ppl please mind me. HAHAHA~

haiix !!

2006-08-13T03:50:00.000-07:00

Alright.. first things first..

070806
someone asked me, if it`s possible to have feelings coming back for HER. but seriously ahh.. she`s happy now? and i`m happy now? so, i don`t think so. even if yes, i guess it won`t be long. -.- i`ve changed. from bad to worst. zzz. i donno how or what i did. but i guessed, i`ve really changed.

080806
SANTOSA~ woohoo~ was soo looking forward ahh !! all wear jersey wor. lolx. but the thing is, i didn`t get tanned lehx !! hopeless de suntan lotion !! grr~zzzzz. walked to shuxin and yk til 090806 morning. talked bout ALOT OF THINGS AHH!! haha. MR.OOO lolx.!! so funny ahh!! and.. talked bout jack and hamster -.- so KE AI. zz. then 090806, yk siao siao. walked shuxin home. zzz. grabbed me along ahh. lolx. then took bus home alone by myself. bathe liao sleep le. zz.

090806 -national day...
alot of things happen wor.. went to watch movie with kimzhi and baby..
then met up with kimzhi de friend go esplanate.. wanted to see fireworks de.. but then, ended long ago haha..
then they went play pool.. zz.. i underage and dunno how to play some more.. so went find yk they all le lohx.. like planned..
but then.. i walked around the whole of esplanate area lahx !! cox.. wanted meet up with shaun then walk back meet yk they all.. but then.. walk ard liaox.. feet wanna rot liao.. still didn`t find shaun !! somemore, yk they all say BRIDGE. how many bridge i know? -.-"
when finally met them, it`s like.. GRRR!! but then.. after that cooled down liao cox i not xiao qi.lol~
chit chat chit chat. then took pics. bekah so ento to take pic with everyone. -.-" actually ALOT of ppl there.. didn`t expect to see kai sheng that group. didn`t expect to see isreal iscac they all. dunno got spell wrongly not o.O chunzhi and bekah i oso didn`t know will be there. dots...
then, i didn`t talk much there lahx.. not attitude or some thing.. jux like.. suddenly nothing to talk bout sia. lolx. shuxin val and dunno who went to see the xdresser.. chiobu wor !! the pic i saw.. hmmx.. hahaha !! then after that talk to yk. then shuxin a bit. then realised. shuxin didn`t sleep much worr !! HAHAHA !! singapore got alot panda. alot cao kou ai yue tuan!! lolx..
after that wanna go home cox.. late le mahx.. somemore shuxin hungry.. -.- then.. some say BUS cox mrt no more. then some say MRT cox still have.. then BUS also like.. no bus go yishun liao.. wdls de bus oso missed -.- nearest to my house de bus is cck/bp there de bus. then finally got yck de bus.. 1/2 wan go up. 1/2 dont want. DOTS !!
IN THE END.. MRT -.- rushed all the way cox left 5 mins. all run like mad childrens. haha!! then.. i dunno what i said wrong lahx.. mayb that night my tone to u* abit bad.. pai seh lahh.. haha.. then u stomp off i was like.. wtf !! was a bit angry too.. shuxin see my face black black then confronted me.. ask me what happen. i didn`t wanna say a thing.. zz.. Xchange secret.. the secret is.. "i not sure my ez link card got money left not !!" lolx.. xD in the end heng heng.. got.. left 60cent i think zz..

SIN YING IS CURRENTLY "UNAVALIABLE". -.-'
only some knows what i`m talking about yah? WAHAHA!! it`s unbelievable but.. un huh.. that`s it. lolx.

100806-holiday !!
i forgotten what i did liao. -.- END !!

110806
pon tan sch. lazy go school. lolx. met up with yk and val they all. pass yk things. then after that wanted find shuxin but she playing bball. hmmx.. then went home after some craps and letter passing thingiee. -.-"
changed HP with my sis. in the end.. SHE DELETE ALL MY INBOX DE SMS WOR !!!!!! SOB !!!!! inbox so many stuff !! she liddat jiu delete !! :,(
but, it`s not a bad thing anyway. -.-" well.. dunno liaos lahx. was angry lahx !! inbox she kpo delete for what !! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..

120806 -bad bad day.
use comp till 2 plus.. toot called me mahx. then chat lohx. daddy came home ard that time too. drink alcohal.. then guessed he`s a bit seh diao liao. came in to the comp room and scold me. dammit. was angry lahx!! slapped. whacked. what else cld he do -.- hang up on her cox i don`t want her have bad impression. zz. lucky.
after i hang her up.... daddy wasn`t happy cox i didn`t off the comp like i said i will after i TAGGED. but seriously, my comp was searching for updates !! it can`t be blamed!! whole comp was damm laggy!! then he don`t believe. stangled me.. pull my hair with another hand and throw me outta the comp room. i knocked aginst the wall -.- dramatic?! got more lohx !!
mommy came out. saw dad strangling me and punched my face. pushed my head knock wall. all mom said was "mai ah ni kuan lah!! computer shut down ai xi gan eh!" i was angry with dad. i really DID shut down liao lohx !! knn.. he punch punch.. then strangle harder -.- as if he was gonna kill me.. DRAMATIC?! got more !!!
i angry liao. tell him nicely.. "u don believe u see the screen !! OPEN YR EYES AND SEE IF I GOT CHEAT U !!"
then he slap me -.-" then the comp shut down.. and then he was like.. pushed me on the grown.. dragged me go room and then throw me to bed. ask me sleep -.-
then later he dunno what happen.. pull off my blanket then like.. wanna pull my head out of the body liddat!! strangle and den slapped me again -.- grrr.. dramatic not? lolx.. this time wasn`t the comp. it was.. "who u tok to!! u tell me.. where he/she from !! ask he/she come out !!".. haiix.. come out is sure die de. who will tell him who i talking to ah. i not 3 yr old -.- then i dun wan tell him. i say "friend" nicely..
he punch me ah !! say what, "mei jia jiao? parents dun care is it? why so late still find u chat" zzz. hello !! as if his daugther not doing the same? -.- then i let him strangle. punch. slapp. whatever he wants. sis and mom tried to stop. no use de lahx. xi guan liao. i cry only cox why he dun believe me at 1st. i told him le "daddy, wo chong lai mei you bian guo ni..". in my family, trust is a lot. i dun wanna cheat my daddy cox from young til now i know, alot ppl cheat my daddy de money and alot alot ahx. haiix..
awhile later, i thought he come back again wanna hit me liao.. i was like... -.-
but turn out that.. my dad come sayang me.. tell me what he feels.. and tell me what he expect from me. it`s only like.. few things i have to do just to be the perfect daughter he wants. he got into wrong campany, he dun wan me to follow. he got cheated cox he dunno english.. he nv study.. he dun wan me to b the same. his money was cheated. what can he do ? haiix. cheated by own family members.. it`s bad but thats what happen to my dad. he wants us to live better.

My dad was working for himself. boss. electrical sub-contractor. he earns alot that time. he was cheated. i dunno on what.. then everything changed.. whenever i`m home from school. i`ll see him sitting at the sofa. no work? -i don`t dare ask. cox it`s obvious.
one night, dinner time, i walk pass a group of my dad`s last time frien.. daddy was toking to them awhile.. i dun like them.. tattoos all over. smoke. drink. bengs.zzz
i asked daddy who they were. daddy said, "friends". zz
not long after that, dad found out who cheated his money and run away. i over heard him.. "1 arm 1k. 1 leg 1k. the money he owe me i mind as well don take ! i trust him so much *blah blah blah*.. the money give AST ginna drink kopi ah !" i was like.. :(

from young i know my dad well. i`m not scared of the gangsters out there. cox i know, my dad`ll be there. youngsters doesn`t even know what gangs are about. -.- their leader who they also dunno. -.- so... i`m not scare.. i got my dad.

daddy very important to me. so, i wanna pass my o lvls somehow. take once cannot then take twice. i wanna find a job that pays well and let the ppl who cheated my dad suffer. i know who they are. and i remember.. don`t make me find u ard.. idiots..

my dad won`t be able to see this but..

"daddy, wo zhen de mei you bian ni. wo zhi dao ni yao de shi she me. dui bu qi, wo bu neng gei ni. ke shi wo hui jing li. wo yao rang ni he mama bu bei bie ren kan bu qi. wo shi huai hai zi, mei ni men xiang de na me guai, ke shi, wo hui guai de. ying wei wo zun jing ni."

^^ dramatic enough le ? lolx..

o.O

2006-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

WOOT~ got back my hp liaox. finally can sms freely !! lolx. baby de hp really very hard type sms de lehx !! -.- somemore.. my contacts all with her.. then, lolx.. funneh. xD

Went kbox. sing sing sing. lolx. all emo emo de songs. -.- i sang like mad lady.. lolx.. then, after that walk walk lohx. took neos. hmmx.. i not good in taking instant de pic pic. so ALL NOT NICE~ :( lolx. well.. then went see shoes.. the one.. nike de.. nice wor.. hmmx.. got few i feel that it`s nice de lahx.. jux that won`t look good on me. xD 112~199 dollars. expensive horx. lols. then, was tempted to buy bag!! lolx.. forgotten how much.. near to 200. -.-' then, went buy SB with val they all lohx.. tempted to buy the one in orange !! woohoo~ so, orangiee!! and the one in pink? lolx. i want green !!! lolx. then........ went kinokuniya see books. leg damm pain. wanted find a place sit down de.. but like .. val`s so engross in walking UP and SEEING BOOKS. then was little irritated. -.-

then after that met up with baby take back my hp. then take train go home. bought pesifire for baby wor. lolx. blue de. still got 1 more. dunno what that call. lolx. black black de. kakax. i bought an orange de for myself oso. cox my hp orange mahx!!

BABY !! got that liao.. cannot ask me give milk liao. lolx !! wan milk jiu suck it !! lolx... which of my baby wants?? lolx.. suddenly got loads of baby.. -.- cannot handle de lehx ! dots..
but seriously ah.. BABY! u need milk and.. calcium food.. then will grow strong bones and strong teeth !! lolx.. next time mommy buy CALCI-YUM for u. hahahax. ^^ hmmx.. that lemon boy jiu no need le.. not nanny dun wan feed.. is horx.. lemon flavoured milk.. nv see be4.. LOLX~

ah yahx.. i so crap tonight.. MILO PENG ~~ SUPERBAND~~ WOOHOO~~

anyways.. hope that val they all.. takkare -.-
always get into trouble lately ahx.. somemore.. got kicked by SO CUTE(sacastic) DE BUNG!! CAO KOU AI OOH!! grrrr... CHILDISH!! -.- we`re civilised ppl, we approach the police! lolx. but the bung runs away after she kicked val wor. lolx.
bball of cox got body interaction lahx. injure oso nan mian de. why the guy like.. so angry ? accidently elbow dio the guy.. -.- dun wan say le. lolx.

BITCH AT WORK !! ppl know jiu know. dunno what it means can call and ask. not gonna say here. jux that...... MUAHAHAHA! so bad of me. aww~ *wink to SOMEONE*

hope ppl don`t get too stressed up. takkare ppl~

OH MY TIAN AHHX

2006-08-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

GOD~ Val wanted to change hp with me. i rejected. now so steady liao. my baby khop my hp. -.- and, the fact that not only my hp got khopped. MY NUMBER !! -.- so now, wanna find her call my hp. wanna find me call her hp. -.- or call my house phone !! cox.. .. i scare her hp no batt ahh!! dunno when i`ll get it back. say tmr but dunno what time -.- hmmx..
her bro called. then was her dad. -.- yupps. her family dun have habit of saying "bye bye". her dad, i was like.. "by......" then was cut off. -.- dots..

Was scolded by mdm Ng during F&N. only late awhile nia what. less then 30 min. -.- yes lahx our fault. but then, say go toilet, val stomach ache liao right? in school cannot stomach ache ahx?? don`t say what, demerit demerit lahx. wan jiu send me home bahx. don`t feel like going school too de. no choice mux go only cox of attendence. -.-
zzz school so bored today. did POA. mon still got test for me for partnership accounts. zz. sure to fail. that`s the account i didn`t know a thing about. well, nvm nvm -.- mom den say. lolx.

after school de bell ring le. was so damm happy~ YAY !! can go home sleep liao~ ppl mux be so jealous lohx. art de do art. D&T de do D&T. F&N de go home orh orh. hahax!! well well, F&N go home do coursework.. but me, this irresponsible student, chosed to SLEEP!! was too tired. lolx. bathe liao lie on bed. then sleep. lolx. then dunno why suddenly woke up, was like thinking.. ehh !! why no one at home man !! so diam one..

look at hp, EH !! got sms wor !! lolx. was baby. ask me where i am. then i say home lohx. blah blah blah. then she decided to come my house. -.- i was like. OH MY TIAN AH ! my room`s in a big big messs~ then rush rush clean clean. even changed my bedsheet !! lolx. then was thinking..

WHY SO LONG AH !? o.O thought she mi lu liao. yuan lai.. she went home -.- then came out again. so free rush here and there. lolx. then.. come lohx. play comp. tok cock sing song play majiong. -.- hmmx..

toopid angkimzhi dunno how to type "suicidal" to come in -.- say till kou shui wan dry up liao cai know. DOTS !! waned to send the word using sms to her. LOLX~~

wanted go see yk they all play bball. yk wan learn ? o.O dots. dunno lahx. wanted to hang round. but.. not fair lahx. sianx. i stay wdls. they stay yishun. dots!! lazy go down. baby with me oso. bring her down, so many other ppl, oso very bad liddat. don wan lahx. lolx.

watched TV. the 9 o`clock show. hmmx.. si baby. pok here pok there. i piak u then u know !! take out all my things in my pencil case. -.- i put back liao still take out !! somemore use pencil pok me !! PAIN DE LEHX !! grrr~ lolx. xD Was fun lahx. funny. laugh here laugh there. hahahahax. finally finish show le, SO SAD LOHX !! happy for the 2 in the show. like each other, but the girl realised late. nearly lost the guy. but jux on time !! so gan dong !! watch till wan cry lehx !! lolx.. hmmx.. then crapped with baby..

baby use my hp sent porn to the nokia black black, cover falling apart de hp. -.- then..... yahx.. lolx.. so funny.. will update my hp with better ones sooner. lolx. THX APRIL FOR THE 2 SONGS!! it`s nice lahx ^^

So tired, lie on sofa with baby, baby idiot.. tries to take pic pic with the nokia hp. hmms.. attemp failed !! lolx..

walk walk walk to busstop to get back my hp from baby. cox.. i cannot survive without HP !! then.. baby lahx !! idert.. wan hp back mux have milk.. too bad dun have ahh !! -.- dots.. walked her to the MRT station. ^^
finally, i got a hp back. but not mine. -.- it`s hers. THE END !! lolx.

crazy de baby + crazy de mommy = lousy de day.

-.- dunno what happen to baby le. o.O hope she reach home safe and.... dun get scolding ahx !! so late cai hui jia. xD

see lahx~ val, ask u all come don wan come. humps~ wasted sia~ lolx. so fun day for me ahx. atleast got ppl entertain. lolx. ^^ wan an lohx~ so tired~ zz

well well..

2006-08-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well.. i spent my day trying to find the perfect tattoo. i wanna put tattoo. but don`t know if my family allows. i shall pyscho them. lolx. temperary or not, i wanna have it !! lolx. if not i shall pierce again. xD painful pleasures. such temptation. who would resist??

this is what i`ve attemp.. to put some pics in my blog. hmmx..

corset pierce. singaporean dunno got ppl do not. if have share pic pic pls.. i wan see. xD

tongue piercing. hmms. he lips are pierced too.

These are copy righted de pics. done by me. the pic IS me. so, cannot copy! lolx.

hmms.. yupps. ^^ still have.. but lazy upload. kekes. later see how bahx !!

hmms.. there`re more out there which is nice. i find it nice then will khop these pic pic de.. kekes.. had been trying to find tribal tattoos for val draw. but then.. found nothing -.-

Today not a very happy day for me. hmmx.. sister broke the mirror in my mom`s room. parents was furious bout it. said to whack her up. but in the end, as i expected, they didn`t. i stole 2 broken pices and kept it for future use. muahaha. jux find it nice thats all. ^^

a small part of it only. -.- u wouldn`t wanna see the BIG MESS !!

and, my cousin is cute !! lolx.

cute bohx? when u call him "boy~" he turns and look at u with the gong gong face.. look like kelson sia~ lolx. funny de. hahax ^^

attemped to take nice nice pic today. but........

SORRY~ too zhi lian liao~ lolx. shall stop here. wahkaka~
well.. hmmx.. my family tree getting more and more complicating liaox..
bbaby`x is my baby suddenly. lolx. i thought i have to feed kel and jay liao. now need feed her ahx? o.O i wan pok gai liaox. lolx. ^^

KELSON WANG BA DAN. so long nv hear from her. piak u ah ! -.- ask her takkare jayven for me she dunno got not. cheh~

well well..

2006-07-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

shi wo zhi ji yi xiang qing yuan. zhi zuo duo qing. hmms.. wo zi ji ming bai. i dunno what gives the idea that i LOVE her. hmms.. it`s just a strong feeling.. that i like her bahs.. i didn`t fall in LOVE with her yet. gaga over her cox, that`s the most expected outta her. yes, i`m gaga easily over crazy little things, and the fact that i`m tall!! xD i didn`t wanna be tall too. i do not have a choice !! i wanna be shorter.. i am 168cm but dun look so.. i only look 164cm.. my back bone... no one believes my actual height.. which is good? lols.. but when standing against a wall, or sitting down straight on a chair, i can`t help being tall bahx?! lols. hmms.. ppl might find that i hao lian cox i`m tall.. but in fact, i dun wanna be tall !! a passive, so tall for what.. no bung wan cai zhi dao ah !! -.-

sin ying is normal. jux a bit crappy. thx for alehluuyah-qiang and crabison de entertainment every morning. -.- morning and night sms from them and hui fen oso. lols. hmms.. seriously, my life getting more and more complicated lehx!! my dad brought home this.. video thingiee.. hmms.. as in.. jian shi qi.. so cool lahx! lols.. luckily, porn wasn`t showed life xD seriously hope she know what she`s doing.

yishun blk 762 there got robbery case? it`s near my mama de shop there ahh! hope my mom won`t get robbed !! lols..

f&n so tired.. hmms.. finally, i`ve learnt to write.. yi ran shi peng you. lols.. well. i`m still crappin.. still laughing.. still me.. ^^

2006-07-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

She just told me she`s happy with her gf. ^^ yeahhs.. pain.. but what can i do? lols.. same thing ma? ben ben de hope that she`ll sms me isit? haven i had enough? she happy jiu hao. i bwg. hmms.. no need for their sweet pics le.. no need.. i don`t wanna know bout anything.. just feel that i should get myself drunk and den fuck off and go to sleep.

now, i know le.. me, no effect on her at all.. she`s happy with life now with her stead.. in the end.. i`m still yi xiang qing yuan.. zhi zuo duo qing.. :)

now type de oso crap.. dun wan type liao le bahs.. no use de..

i didn`t cut..

2006-07-30T05:45:00.002-07:00

i didn`t cut myself, KY-.. i didn`t. really didn`t..
cox, it`s a promise.. the 1st promise i`ve made with her.. i`m trying hard not to break it.. cox, she dislikes broken promises.. mayb, i shall thank KY for giving me the blue black actually. THAT instant was a fast relive of my pain too. then, thank u all for being there, playing batminton, on music and stuff. crapped and 'ren' my weird temper so long.

Don`t know how to speak with this feeling in me. I want to know that she`s cheating me. She isn`t attached. She`s just waiting for her ex. She wanted me to go cox she doesn`t want me hurt. But if thats true, she doesn`t know, i`m hurt when she ask me to go. haiis.. i don`t know already lahs. like her pm in msn, just be happy.
How am i going to?

I received an sms in the middle of the night. I saw it only in the morning at ard 7am.
"xiao tian shi song wo yi zhong dong xi, jiao xiao rong. ta yao wo ba xiao rong song gei le yi ge ren. na ge ren shi shui ne? jiu shi xian zai kan zhe shou ji bian xiao bian gan dong de na ge ren... xi wang xiao rong hui chang ban ni lian shang! =p" -i didn`t change a word. jus typed it in pinyin form only.

i replied.
" ^^ <

i type le, was like.. crying. :( mayb morning more emotional bahs. i remember how she would be thinking of things, then i`ll place the chnl U finger near to her lips.. and she would give me a 'sha xiao'. haiis..hmms.. ta de sha xiao yi bu shu yu ben dan.. shu yu bie ren le..

zhen de hen xin ku. i oso dunno what i wanted from her. i dunno what i wanted. til now, this very moment, i`m still waiting for her to sms me. well, atleast in msn she asked if i ate. she asked me dun bluff her.

Today is my mom and dad de 17th wedding aniversary. grats !

they went to makan a big big feast with my dad de friens. the food was nice lahs.. but no mood really.. then, sis ka jiao me when i`m typing sms to send baby. then i shouted. think mom wasn`t very happy with me too. then dad didn`t say anything. mom only say"yr eye liner make u look like panda." i was like.. PANDA!! T-T panda.. wo hao xiang nian sha gua xiong mao!!
my table de those words.. wanted to erase them off de.. but really bu she de.. and.. cannot be erased.. thought the pen can rub away de. in the end cannot. and i don`t want to too. was dramatic in class on fri.. crying.. then ang ang came and read the words.. "sha gua xiong mao".. i was like.. crying out more lahH!! lols. palm was holding onto the words.. but i know i cannot hold on cox... she don`t wan to.. haiis.. dunno lahs..

Drink a bit ytd night. dunno why very easy seh diao lately. 1 can heneiken, a bit of red wine. cannot make it liao. go throw rubbish like.. whoa!! mux hold onto something.. haiis.. i know i`m not suppose to drink.. cox she told me not to.. cox my liver de things.. then.. i did.. cox i was thinking, val say le, she oso dun care me.. i die le dunno she will cry not oso -.-"
off my hp silent.. she got sms me.. ask me not to watch the show till cry.. well.. the show is 9 o clock. the time she sms me was 11 plus le.. then.. she ask me how i am.. i didn`t know how to ans her.. i was like.. "how u den how me lorr lols!!" hmms.. yupps.. she`s happy jiu hao.. hmms.. i`ve found out a way to be smaller in size. hiak hiak!! val told me wad byan did..

soak yrself in ICY ICY COLD water and ICE~
then the bones, joins, watever will contract. isit? hmms.. i wanna try.. but.. my house no bathtub!! lols.. nvm.. if there`s a will, there`s a way..

didn`t dare to ask if she got miss me.. cox..
290706-
*blah blah- in front got whole load of crap*
wo bu gan zhi dao ni dui ta shuo de shi fou shi zhen xin hua.you nuu peng you le, yao zhen xi ! bu neng zhai xiang wo le o! i`ve nv said i`ll wait. if i found someone be4 u got over, or someone u love, i`ll go too. yao xin fu ! yao ha ha da xiao! xi huan yi ge ren yao da shen shuo chu lai! yao da shen dui ta shuo ai ta wo!! bu yke yi pian wo o!!

thats what i sent her. hmms..
i dun dare to know.. cox i want to believe that all thats untrue.. got gf liao mux cherish, cox.. she said, no matter what.. 'sha gua hui hen zhen xi teng ai ben dan zhu tou de'.. last time.. i still have those sms with me.. haiis!! erms.. cannot miss me anymore, cox.. it wld only be a pain!! her mood won`t be good..and, if her gf is true.. haiis.. yah.. truth is, i want her miss me !! :(

lalala~
mayb is cos i think too much liao.. dreamt bout her too -.- for goodness sack, it`s a nightmare!!
my sister found out all my pics, contacts, blogs, friendster and stuff.. then my dad called me when i`m outside.. he shout, "WHO IS KELSON!?!" i was like.... "c.l de sister de bf.." then i forgot the other 1/2 liaos.. was thinking in my dream.. how come.. got jayven de pic, got write bout jayven oso, dad nv asked? o.O then in dream, thought of.. OOH!! THAT TIME TOLD MAMA BOUT THE TWO MAHS!! then val say is the tall one!! OH MY GOD!! thats y!! -.-

DOTS!!! my dream so.. haha..
guess.. i am who i am. loves attention and stuff..
didn`t expect myself to like her so much too wor.. lols.. everything so fast.. it`s only the 30th day since we 1st met up -.- lalala~ wadever bahs!! lao tian ye jiu wo!! ru guo bu hui you jie guo, jiu ba wo dai zhou!! lols..

i didn`t cut..

2006-07-30T05:45:00.001-07:00

i didn`t cut myself, KY-.. i didn`t. really didn`t..
cox, it`s a promise.. the 1st promise i`ve made with her.. i`m trying hard not to break it.. cox, she dislikes broken promises.. mayb, i shall thank KY for giving me the blue black actually. THAT instant was a fast relive of my pain too. then, thank u all for being there, playing batminton, on music and stuff. crapped and 'ren' my weird temper so long.

Don`t know how to speak with this feeling in me. I want to know that she`s cheating me. She isn`t attached. She`s just waiting for her ex. She wanted me to go cox she doesn`t want me hurt. But if thats true, she doesn`t know, i`m hurt when she ask me to go. haiis.. i don`t know already lahs. like her pm in msn, just be happy.
How am i going to?

I received an sms in the middle of the night. I saw it only in the morning at ard 7am.
"xiao tian shi song wo yi zhong dong xi, jiao xiao rong. ta yao wo ba xiao rong song gei le yi ge ren. na ge ren shi shui ne? jiu shi xian zai kan zhe shou ji bian xiao bian gan dong de na ge ren... xi wang xiao rong hui chang ban ni lian shang! =p" -i didn`t change a word. jus typed it in pinyin form only.

i replied.
"^^<

i type le, was like.. crying. :( mayb morning more emotional bahs. i remember how she would be thinking of things, then i`ll place the chnl U finger near to her lips.. and she would give me a 'sha xiao'. haiis..hmms.. ta de sha xiao yi bu shu yu ben dan.. shu yu bie ren le..

zhen de hen xin ku. i oso dunno what i wanted from her. i dunno what i wanted. til now, this very moment, i`m still waiting for her to sms me. well, atleast in msn she asked if i ate. she asked me dun bluff her.

Today is my mom and dad de 17th wedding aniversary. grats !
they went to makan a big big feast with my dad de friens. the food was nice lahs.. but no mood really.. then, sis ka jiao me when i`m typing sms to send baby. then i shouted. think mom wasn`t very happy with me too. then dad didn`t say anything. mom only say"yr eye liner make u look like panda." i was like.. PANDA!! T-T panda.. wo hao xiang nian sha gua xiong mao!!
my table de those words.. wanted to erase them off de.. but really bu she de.. and.. cannot be erased.. thought the pen can rub away de. in the end cannot. and i don`t want to too. was dramatic in class on fri.. crying.. then ang ang came and read the words.. "sha gua xiong mao".. i was like.. crying out more lahH!! lols. palm was holding onto the words.. but i know i cannot hold on cox... she don`t wan to.. haiis.. dunno lahs..

Drink a bit ytd night. dunno why very easy seh diao lately. 1 can heneiken, a bit of red wine. cannot make it liao. go throw rubbish like.. whoa!! mux hold onto something.. haiis.. i know i`m not suppose to drink.. cox she told me not to.. cox my liver de things.. then.. i did.. cox i was thinking, val say le, she oso dun care me.. i die le dunno she will cry not oso -.-"
off my hp silent.. she got sms me.. ask me not to watch the show till cry.. well.. the show is 9 o clock. the time she sms me was 11 plus le.. then.. she ask me how i am.. i didn`t know how to ans her.. i was like.. "how u den how me lorr lols!!" hmms.. yupps.. she`s happy jiu hao.. hmms.. i`ve found out a way to be smaller in size. hiak hiak!! val told me wad byan did..

soak yrself in ICY ICY COLD water and ICE~
then the bones, joins, watever will contract. isit? hmms.. i wanna try.. but.. my house no bathtub!! lols.. nvm.. if there`s a will, there`s a way..

didn`t dare to ask if she got miss me.. cox..
290706-
*blah blah- in front got whole load of crap*
wo bu gan zhi dao ni dui ta shuo de shi fou shi zhen xin hua.you nuu peng you le, yao zhen xi ! bu neng zhai xiang wo le o! i`ve nv said i`ll wait. if i found someone be4 u got over, or someone u love, i`ll go too. yao xin fu ! yao ha ha da xiao! xi huan yi ge ren yao da shen shuo chu lai! yao da shen dui ta shuo ai ta wo!! bu yke yi pian wo o!!

thats what i sent her. hmms..
i dun dare to know.. cox i want to believe that all thats untrue.. got gf liao mux cherish, cox.. she said, no matter what.. 'sha gua hui hen zhen xi teng ai ben dan zhu tou de'.. last time.. i still have those sms with me.. haiis!! erms.. cannot miss me anymore, cox.. it wld only be a pain!! her mood won`t be good..and, if her gf is true.. haiis.. yah.. truth is, i want her miss me !! :(

lalala~
mayb is cos i think too much liao.. dreamt bout her too -.- for goodness sack, it`s a nightmare!!
my sister found out all my pics, contacts, blogs, friendster and stuff.. then my dad called me when i`m outside.. he shout, "WHO IS KELSON!?!" i was like.... "c.l de sister de bf.." then i forgot the other 1/2 liaos.. was thinking in my dream.. how come.. got jayven de pic, got write bout jayven oso, dad nv asked? o.O then in dream, thought of.. OOH!! THAT TIME TOLD MAMA BOUT THE TWO MAHS!! then val say is the tall one!! OH MY GOD!! thats y!! -.-

DOTS!!! my dream so.. haha..
guess.. i am who i am. loves attention and stuff..
didn`t expect myself to like her so much too wor.. lols.. everything so fast.. it`s only the 30th day since we 1st met up -.- lalala~ wadever bahs!! lao tian ye jiu wo!! ru guo bu hui you jie guo, jiu ba wo dai zhou!! lols..

i didn`t cut..

2006-07-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

i didn`t cut myself, KY-.. i didn`t. really didn`t..
cox, it`s a promise.. the 1st promise i`ve made with her.. i`m trying hard not to break it.. cox, she dislikes broken promises.. mayb, i shall thank KY for giving me the blue black actually. THAT instant was a fast relive of my pain too. then, thank u all for being there, playing batminton, on music and stuff. crapped and 'ren' my weird temper so long.

Don`t know how to speak with this feeling in me. I want to know that she`s cheating me. She isn`t attached. She`s just waiting for her ex. She wanted me to go cox she doesn`t want me hurt. But if thats true, she doesn`t know, i`m hurt when she ask me to go. haiis.. i don`t know already lahs. like her pm in msn, just be happy.
How am i going to?

I received an sms in the middle of the night. I saw it only in the morning at ard 7am.
"xiao tian shi song wo yi zhong dong xi, jiao xiao rong. ta yao wo ba xiao rong song gei le yi ge ren. na ge ren shi shui ne? jiu shi xian zai kan zhe shou ji bian xiao bian gan dong de na ge ren... xi wang xiao rong hui chang ban ni lian shang! =p" -i didn`t change a word. jus typed it in pinyin form only.

i replied.
"^^<

i type le, was like.. crying. :( mayb morning more emotional bahs. i remember how she would be thinking of things, then i`ll place the chnl U finger near to her lips.. and she would give me a 'sha xiao'. haiis..hmms.. ta de sha xiao yi bu shu yu ben dan.. shu yu bie ren le..

zhen de hen xin ku. i oso dunno what i wanted from her. i dunno what i wanted. til now, this very moment, i`m still waiting for her to sms me. well, atleast in msn she asked if i ate. she asked me dun bluff her.

Today is my mom and dad de 17th wedding aniversary. grats !
they went to makan a big big feast with my dad de friens. the food was nice lahs.. but no mood really.. then, sis ka jiao me when i`m typing sms to send baby. then i shouted. think mom wasn`t very happy with me too. then dad didn`t say anything. mom only say"yr eye liner make u look like panda." i was like.. PANDA!! T-T panda.. wo hao xiang nian sha gua xiong mao!!
my table de those words.. wanted to erase them off de.. but really bu she de.. and.. cannot be erased.. thought the pen can rub away de. in the end cannot. and i don`t want to too. was dramatic in class on fri.. crying.. then ang ang came and read the words.. "sha gua xiong mao".. i was like.. crying out more lahH!! lols. palm was holding onto the words.. but i know i cannot hold on cox... she don`t wan to.. haiis.. dunno lahs..

Drink a bit ytd night. dunno why very easy seh diao lately. 1 can heneiken, a bit of red wine. cannot make it liao. go throw rubbish like.. whoa!! mux hold onto something.. haiis.. i know i`m not suppose to drink.. cox she told me not to.. cox my liver de things.. then.. i did.. cox i was thinking, val say le, she oso dun care me.. i die le dunno she will cry not oso -.-"
off my hp silent.. she got sms me.. ask me not to watch the show till cry.. well.. the show is 9 o clock. the time she sms me was 11 plus le.. then.. she ask me how i am.. i didn`t know how to ans her.. i was like.. "how u den how me lorr lols!!" hmms.. yupps.. she`s happy jiu hao.. hmms.. i`ve found out a way to be smaller in size. hiak hiak!! val told me wad byan did..

soak yrself in ICY ICY COLD water and ICE~
then the bones, joins, watever will contract. isit? hmms.. i wanna try.. but.. my house no bathtub!! lols.. nvm.. if there`s a will, there`s a way..

didn`t dare to ask if she got miss me.. cox..
290706-
*blah blah- in front got whole load of crap*
wo bu gan zhi dao ni dui ta shuo de shi fou shi zhen xin hua.you nuu peng you le, yao zhen xi ! bu neng zhai xiang wo le o! i`ve nv said i`ll wait. if i found someone be4 u got over, or someone u love, i`ll go too. yao xin fu ! yao ha ha da xiao! xi huan yi ge ren yao da shen shuo chu lai! yao da shen dui ta shuo ai ta wo!! bu yke yi pian wo o!!

thats what i sent her. hmms..
i dun dare to know.. cox i want to believe that all thats untrue.. got gf liao mux cherish, cox.. she said, no matter what.. 'sha gua hui hen zhen xi teng ai ben dan zhu tou de'.. last time.. i still have those sms with me.. haiis!! erms.. cannot miss me anymore, cox.. it wld only be a pain!! her mood won`t be good..and, if her gf is true.. haiis.. yah.. truth is, i want her miss me !! :(

lalala~
mayb is cos i think too much liao.. dreamt bout her too -.- for goodness sack, it`s a nightmare!!
my sister found out all my pics, contacts, blogs, friendster and stuff.. then my dad called me when i`m outside.. he shout, "WHO IS KELSON!?!" i was like.... "c.l de sister de bf.." then i forgot the other 1/2 liaos.. was thinking in my dream.. how come.. got jayven de pic, got write bout jayven oso, dad nv asked? o.O then in dream, thought of.. OOH!! THAT TIME TOLD MAMA BOUT THE TWO MAHS!! then val say is the tall one!! OH MY GOD!! thats y!! -.-

DOTS!!! my dream so.. haha..
guess.. i am who i am. loves attention and stuff..
didn`t expect myself to like her so much too wor.. lols.. everything so fast.. it`s only the 30th day since we 1st met up -.- lalala~ wadever bahs!! lao tian ye jiu wo!! ru guo bu hui you jie guo, jiu ba wo dai zhou!! lols..

i`ve been dead..

2006-07-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.100yy.com/play1.asp?id=30781,%2030783,%2030784,%2030785,%2030787,%2030788,%2030789

Thats the songs i`ve been listening to.. i`m listening to them now. i like the 1st, 3rd, 4th and last. ah yah! all i like. lols. ytd val asked kelson sms me. cos i told her if kelson sms me, i`ll go to the concert she wanted me to go. But what kelson smsed is not what i wanted!! why would val want to do that! she knows i`m going to be extremely sad over it!! i hate her and i still do. why mux val be so selfish !! all that, i know de !! i really know!! no need u to remind me right? if u think i`ll go cox of kelson sms me this kinda sms, then u`re wrong. If kelson sms me those like she used to.. makes me feel cared, and missed.. my mood would be better isn`t it!! then i`ll go isn`t it !! i hate u.. i`m suppose to be hyper!! and val, u`ve extingushed my last hope of hyperness. now i`m dead!! i feel dead!! and i hate u!! yes, i`m childish!! but aren`t u too selfish? u only think of yrself!!

I still want to wait for her sms all day. Although she might have forgotten bout the "l*ave" and "l*ve" thingiee.. That same day, she said she liked me. was so happy. but, she said she couldn`t love me. cox, liking one and only. yi xin yi yi. she still loves her ex. and i understands. So, i told her, if one day, she has no feelings for me at all, she finds me irritating, sms me "L*ave"..
BUT, if she got over her ex le, and has feelings for me, sms me "L*ve" and i shall reply with an "o!!" hmms.. yupps.. i`m afraid of the leave. really.

alot of things i`m keeping to myself. she doesn`t know de. cox.. sinying is hua chi. feng kuang de xi huan shang le ni. ben ben de deng ni de sms. sha sha de xi guan ni. xian zai, wei le ni, xin bu gan qing bu yuan de, bing bu de yi dei fang le ni.. haiis.. today, shall reveal everything, since u no longer can view my blog le.. :)

In my purple de diary,

-wo you le xin de ren shen..
though bu shi fei chang de happy..
ke shi, shi you tian tian de wei dao de o!!
wo, ai shang le yi ge, he wo yi qian yi yang de ren.. ta rang wo you tian tian de gan jue.. dan, wo zhen de bu liao jie ta de xin, dao di zai xiang she me.. wo jiao ta, CaCl2..-

230707-
i gotten over dylan last month. looking back at the posts i`ve made, think i`m so stupid. xP me, tried to stop myself from falling in love. stop myself from liking someone. told myself not to think too much. but, i`m still fallen now. i told myself not to think too much le. but i did. i did my best not to!! -.- i`ve did my best. xP sorry.. i`ve fallen into yr trap. she can`t get over her ex. asked me give her 3 mth, but also asked me to go for other ppl. heartache man.. no choice, she said it, can like her, but try not to love her. :( i`m weird. so i can`t be like others, i don`t know how to use simple words to express myself. sometimes, i wld come across some songs which can express my feelings out. then shall sing it out instead. -.- yupps, only ben dan cai hui xi huan shang sha gua (thats what u sent me long ago). when u said u like me, i`m very very happy oh!! but, why keep on pushing me to others? :( got ppl wanna jio me so? now, i only like one and only one person!! i`m not that shui bian de. i don`t want. when u attemp to to send me away, i felt like crying oh! well, i did xP when u said u don`t care about me, when u asked me to let go, i feel heart broken.. :'( But when u treat me well, i`ll be hyper again !! soft soft de smile from u would be able to make me smile. a small compliment from u would be able to make me laugh til i faint!! If one day, u said u love me, i`ll fly !! sinying is the world`s da hua chi !! xP but, will the day come? cox of my height bah? only friends? i`ve cried.. T-T Now, i also don`t know how u felt bout me, or think bout me.. i feel like chopping away my legs ah !! don`t dare to ask if u missed me. don`t dare to ask u alot alot of questions. cox, i don`t wanna hear stuff which would make me cry xP baby still told me, you really really wanted me go find other ppl. i thought i`ll be drunk.. but i remembered everything :( is me who asked her to reveal everything de. but.. haiis.. !! you, don`t want let me xi guan you so nv sms me leh? u busy bah.. right? ^^ hmms.. ytd, u went out with friends ehh? but u`re sick what !! :( drink more water and rest well. really miss u lotsa!! 1 week since i met u !! xP sha gua..

The rest of post is in my MOBLOG diary, which is not with me at this moment.. it`s in class.. i`ve written like, everything there.. hmms.. i remembered everything !!

no.1- u`re heartache for me. u`ve asked me to promise u not to cut.
no.2- u asked me sms u when i reach home. u ask me guai abit. u don`t wan me get wacked again.
no.3- east coast night. u said u like lemon honey. i rushed to buy lemon and honey and try out til my lips turned numb. -.- didn`t know how to get there but i did in the end. lols.
no.4- the hug. though u said u dunno why. the 'strawberry' i gave on yr arm. the pillow. the moment where u layed on my legs and asked if my leg turned numb. "sha gua shui bu zao..".. "wei she me ne?".. the miss killed kiss..
no.5- on the bus, when i finally slept like a pig ! when i open my eyes, i saw u looking at me somhow -.-
no.6- not forgetting.. yr 1st letter to me ^^
no.7- i forced u to say u missed me. u did !! and.. u asked me to smile cai got dimples.
no.8- yr morning sms. and night sms. ^^ the way i wld wait for it. lols.
no.9- dustbin. "don u even throw me away".. "bites zhutou neck"
no.10- i remind u i like u. cox of yr STM!! -.-
no.11- esplanate. penknife. -.- u took towel and water and cleaned up for me.
no.12- the bracelet i made. the watch u wore. the wristbands u wore.
no.13- the word i wrote on yr hand. i grabbed on yr hand but don`t dare to hold it. u brushed yr tumb against my hand when u sleep. lols.
no.14- the missed killed kiss. i didn`t miss kill le. but u said u didn`t feel anything. -.-
no.15- thx for letting me sing ^^
no.16- i hugged u to sleep. u kinda.. hugged me? i remembered yr smell. and the way u tried to grab yr coat and lay it on my back. the way u grabbed my shirt. the way yr chin touched my head. the way u brushed yr finger against my hand while holding them. the way u made me felt cosy..
no.17- the way u made me waited the whole night next to the big big stone till i bth den dropped dead!! -.-
no.18- the way u sms me in chinese and told me if i have good mood and appittie is cox u missed me. if not means u miss me i nv miss u. lols. ^^
no.19- the way u reply me "hahax. zhutou"
no.20- the zhutou u drawn for me. send me by mms. lols.
no.21- the way u asked me if i missed u..
no.22- the way u said i laugh like small kid and said it was cute.
no23- u reply my sms and told me u were eating pineapple. lols
no. 24- the way u cared. u told me no lemon no alcohal and no acidic drinks.
no. 25- u said u unreasonable. hahas. u angry bout me cox i didn`t wan listen. fact is i did!!
no.26- the way u made me worry for u. bout yr leg
no.27- sms me. morning. long time didn`t le!! ^^ so happy!! lols. the way u ask me to sms u when i missed u.
no.28- the sms which u asked me not to make u worry for me. ^^
no.29- i asked u if u missed me. u reply:"if no then won`t sms u le" i was happy!!! u 1st time didn`t say no. -.-
no.30- u asked my to takkare and drink more water. the way i would ting hua...

i`ve summarised those things down. of cos.. there are somemore.. hmms.. all thses.. i still hope they`ll come back one day.. wo ben.. wo sha.. wo bai chi..

- wo bu xiang rang ni zou. xin zai tong lei zhai liu. ni na me jue qing, na me ren xing, wang ji ni de chen nuo-
a lyrics from one of the songs i`m listening now. -.-

wo zhen de hen xiang ni. i want to stay. :( i`ve chose to believe that u still like me. u don wanna hurt me bu letting me wait so long. u want me to forget u cox u feel that letting me wait not good. cox got ppl out there will be happier for me to go. u feel sad too. u jux don`t want to let me feel miserable. thats why u chose to lie to me. u still missed me. u feel uneasy when u can`t sms me like be4 anymore. cos if u were to sms me, i would not forget u lik u planned. u`ll be thinking of what i`m doing, like i am now.. u feel uneasy not receiving my sms. (u once said, u like reciving my sms) and i swear that i would sms u no matter wad. not now..... hmms.. haiis!! :( i believe that u feel that, everything is moving too fast, like i did.. so, it`s easier to let go now be4 it`s too late.. before i fall more for u.. thats y u so she de to throw me away!! someone tell me i`m right. T.T

haiis.. say real.. i`m not the kinda girl u all think bah..
if before u LOVE me.. i found someone who LOVE me.. i`ll go to the someone else if u have no strong feelings for me too.. haiis..
u`re the feeling of happiness and xin fu i feel. now that u`re gone. the feelings are gone too. yi qie dou bei ta hui yuan dian. yi qie dou hao xiang mei you fa shen. zhi shi zuo le yi chang er mong er yi. so now..

SIN YING IS GOING TO DREAM ON !! i hope i will never wake up.
i`m still waiting for yr^ sms.. till now.. i wake up every 1 hr or so from my sleep last night. i looked at my hp everytime. i don`t wanna delete my inbox.

i`m suppose to eat med le i think. cramps are kinda back. i had coffee fri morning. 3 for 2.80 if i`m not wrong. bought 3 lohs. i know i`ll get stomach ache de. but felt like drinking dunno why too. lols. whole morning, drink coffee. hmms.. then in the end.. cramp.. now still cramp.. this morning.. LEG cramp.. then now is the... liver bah? xD dunno which part lahs!! dun care liao. lols. fever. whole body ache now. cox of ytd de batminton too. long time since i`ve played. thats y -.- dots lah! i`m going to isolate now le. takkare ppl.

wo de tian.!!

2006-07-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

Zhen de hao tong ku.
cannot cut. cannot punch. all i could do is seek for attention. like val said. i`m so attention seeking. in school i cried during recess cos i can`t take it anymore. she`s not replying my sms. it`s not that she`s busy, though i always tells myself that she`s just too busy to sms me. i looked at my hp and make sure i see every single sms and picks up every single phone calls. But non of them are from u.

Was so happy when u smsed me ytd night. although it was just asking about my blog that bung who called in the middle of the night. but found out that, u wanted me to forget about u? u didn`t want me to waste my time. i don`t think that it`s a waste of MY time. if u think u wasted time on me, then, for u, i will let go of u. let u go to the place u really want to be. But thats only cox i understand that, for someone who loves u, but u don`t. it`s rather irritating sometimes. Sometimes, u might be thinking, why the one i don`t love, loves me. the one that i love, doesn`t? well, thats me last time. Waiting for ex. i waited real long too. from the 7th or 8th months of my last r/s, i don`t feel her love anymore. i waited for her love to come back. 7 months for her i`ve waited. But in the end, i got over it -.-

Ppl tried to tell me. she sure got feelings for u de. don`t think too much. have confidence! but truth is, i do not dare to know. i`m afraid that the ans i get is not what i expected. u always asked me to find someone better. u said u aren`t good at all. but, how better can i get? i`m not like the other girls which is yr type. i know it myself. i`m FAT UGLY SENSITIVE STUPID AND IRRITATING!! i want to get aneroxia. i want to forbid myself from food too. but no matter what i do, i remembered yr sms. u said that, if my mood`s good and good appittite is cox of u miss me. but if i don`t have good mood or no appittite is cox when u missed me, i didn`t miss u. and.. yes.. i missed u alot. i don`t have good appittite now. my emotions are running wild. sometimes felt hyper. sometimes felt like crying. and i did cry. in front of ppl. catching their attention.

this is what my horoscope says:
You can see what needs to be done, so do it. There's no sense in waiting any longer.
The simple, silly problems all around you keep you active all day long. You're on a solo crusade to make everything work perfectly and look beautiful, and you're going to have a very successful day. Things like a crooked painting, a messy room and dirty dishes in the sink don't stand a chance with you around. You'll see what needs to be done and quickly do it -- because what's the point of waiting any longer? There isn't a drop of procrastination in you right now.

i don`t understand at all. In msn, KYKY- pmed u. di siao u. after which u sign out. or u blocked me. hmms.. i tried real hard to let u know a bit of how i`m feeling now. but i don`t seem to dare say everything out. like ytd night, when u said u wanted to know how i felt. i have 2 sms.. but i only sent one. like aaron kor said, i should have jux told u that "i love u" lahs.. or things liddat. but i`m passive !! and i do not dare. i know how u`re going to respond. u`ll not reply me if it`s sms. u`ll offline mayb if it`s msn. haiis!! i`m not good in expressing myself. but now, tonight. i`m emo..

wo zhen de hai bu xiang li kai. wo bu xiang zhi dao san ge yue hou hui zhe me yang. wo zi ji ye bu dong zi ji yao de shi she me. wo bu gan shuo cu lai. yin wei wo dong, ni yi ding hui you xie di fang, bu ming bai de. wo ben, wo sha, wo yi xiang qing yuan, zhi zuo duo qing. zhe jiu shi wo, zhen zheng de wo. ming zhi dao xin ai de ren bu ai zi ji. zhai xin ku de zhen zha zhe. ke shi, bu xiang wei nan ni. you bu yao fang qi ni. hen guo fen de xi guan le ni. xi guan mei tian you ni de xun xi. xi guan ni jiao wo ben dan zhu tou. xi guan deng ni chuan xun xi gei wo. xi guan ni jiao wo qu du shu. xi guan hen duo hen duo. peng you ju hui shi, hui gen ni shuo, yin wei wo xiang ni qu. wo xiang jian ni. wo bu gan zhu dong, yin wei wo bu gan. wo mei yong. wo shi hua chi. yi dian dian xiao shi jiu lao lao ji zhu. ran hou jiu hen kai xin de, zhi dao ni ma wo ben wei zhi. hen tao yan ni de 'stm'. she me dou wang le.

ke neng, xian zai, wang le ni shuo guo de hua, zhuo guo de shi, dui ni lai shuo hen jian dan ba? ke shi dui wo, que shi yi ge jian nan de kao yan. jin tian, wo mei you ge shou. zhi shi yong zhi jia zhua dao shou ma bi wei zhi. bu shi xi wang ni kan jian. zhi shi, wo bu neng, ye bu dong de yao zhe me kong zhi zi ji de qing xuu le. wo xiang shen yi chang da bing, ba zi ji guan zhai jia li. na li dou bu qu. yin wei she me shi dou neng rang wo xiang dao ni. wo zhen de, bu yao zhai kan ni jiao wo zou. jiao wo fang shou. zhen de xiang zhai xi guan ni. zhen de hen xiang hen xiang ni. wo bu gan xin. bu gan xin ni na me hen xin. ni she de ba wo diu xia, yi ge ren li qu. hai she de jiao wo fang shou, wang le ni. she de ji tian dou bu sms wo. nan dao, ni zhen de mei you zai xiang wo le ma?

Post in chinese le. hmms.. feeling a bit emo now. lols. tearing :(
i`m not going to translate le. lazy to do so. anything can jus call my hp. i`ll read it out bahs. hmms..

Played baminton with aaron, val, al, yeekuan, KY-, jiawei.. hmmms.. aaron made my run quite a bit bahs.. body ache xD mei you yong. lols. then.. shaun didn`t come in the end. haiis..

chuan chern burned techno de CDs for me. thx alot.

today is candy de bday. happy bday ahh! ^^ mom de cakeshop so fucked up now. late for 1/2 hr for the cake. made everyone waited sooooo long. then got caught in the rain. now, finally, headache liao. then..

After batminton, they come my hse wait for me bathe and eat den go sunplaza. hmms.. BUT THEN!! cos yeekuan de eye too big liao.. bu xiao xin DIAO dio 2 lians. -.- in the end they so childish de. call one big group follow here and there. childish sia. we go down buy drink say we ham ji. they oso ham wad. dare not come to us and confront huh? hmms.. biggest gang in sg is police lohs!! lols. in the end we went in arcade, then 3 lians bang val. den val du lan liao. they still laugh laugh. -.- wu liao. act as if BU XIAO XIN de. but then we know is gu yi de. -.- then my HP rang. baby called. walked out and tok. then at 1st got ppl shouted dunno baby got hear not -.-
"lian ooh! ka dian wei liao eh! wa kia kia!!" means.. "ah lian ooh!! call others liao eh ! i`m soo scare!!" -.- HELLO~ GANGSTERS~ IS BABY CALL ME DE OK!! -.- PLS WEAR SPECT IF U NEED IT! (1 of them wears contact) HAHA~
at 1st when went in arcade they oso di siao siao.. "wah chio bu ah !! CHIO GE LAN LAH!! CHIO LAN LAH CHIO!!" as if they chio -.- yah lah. more chio then us de. but oso not chio -.- dots. hmms.. didn`t wanna stir up matters cox we believe that we have better things to do then that !! lols.. then.. bang bang thing.. den hp call thing. -.- so wu liao. spoilt our moods. everyone went home. lols!! injure dio hand. left de middle finger. haiis! right de tumb. haiis! left de arm. whole arm orh cheh!! omg. lols.

when KY pinch time is numb cox of scratch de thing. but then pinch till skin seperates from flesh le lah!! the pain slowly rushed up! it`s like.. haaaaa~ pain.. but heart more pain. cried alot in sch. even me and val break oso not so much tears in sch -.- what happen to me !! lols.
KY and me siao siao liao. ppl celebrate bday. after that in canteen so sobbish!! lols. listen to those sad sad de song. then cry til bu xiang yang. val oso say.. u cry she know le she oso hack care u !! u stand in rain she oso dun care u !! cos she wan me forget her mahs.. so no matter what she oso won`t hui xin zhuan yi le bah?

wo ye bu zhi dao ta dao di you mei you xi huan guo wo. you mei you xiang yao yi xin yi yi ai wo. -.- yin gai mei you. wo na me cou! T.T

wo yao suo de.. yi jing suo le.. haiis!!

my inbox is filled with yr sms. my calender is my diary. anything happen, if lazy write, will cut short put in my calender. then won`t forget. haiis.. ppl who viewed this blog, means u`re close with me enough to know my pw. lols. can get my hp someday and read it. then u`ll know how much i`ve fallen this time. how i felt. for good.. what am i suppose to do now!!

still pending for her sms. :(

2nd dae le. hmms..

2006-07-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

That busy? hmms.. nvm :\

我已经渐渐习惯
忙碌把生活填满
和自己分享晚餐
试着活得更理所当然
我已经渐渐习惯
对感情顺其自然
只是我还不明白
失去你的天空为何看来
不那么蔚蓝

-xi guan yi ge ren na me na me nan. wei he hai shi ben ben, sha sha, bu dong shi de xi guan le ni?-

怎能说忘记就忘记
我想我已经习惯你..

-xian zhai de wo, hai zhe me ban..-

我终于还是说了一句我爱你, 还记得那个微凉夜里, 天空正飘着小雨.
心跳的声音,像舞动奇迹.
你看着我说千万不要爱上你. 因为你只会让我伤心.
别傻了, 快点喊停.
你那么冷静, 忽远又忽近.
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻, 我想, 我猜, 我问,我终于了解.
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味, 只想爱你.
当我和你走在一起就已经决定, 不看,不听, 不问, 也不会放弃.
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定.
只想爱你..
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你. 我知道我偶尔有一点任性. 不管你做任何决定, 究竟爱我还是逃避.. Sorry, 我还是不会放弃..爱你
Sorry, 我还是不会放弃.
我还是不会放弃, 爱你.

dunno it`s suppose to be happy or bad. o.O
i put the puncuations le.. sound better le bahs? lols.
sorry ah ! no translation.. -.-

hmms.. 2nd dae liao.. hao bu xi guan ooh. hmms.. wonder if something happened. hmms..
whole day, from the sec i woke up.. how come i nv check then got ppl sms me. i check always no have de?! today my hp nv leave my sight. so not many ppl sms me. only kor, chuen and baby nia. haiis. my hands itchy, sent like.. dunno how many sms. -.- hmms..

whole day at home. doing nothing. go friendster do survey. so wu liiaos de. then no mood do causework too. so in the end, whole day did nothing ! tmr suppose to hand in? i`m not going to hand in. i did nothing too. hand in oso no marks. o lvl coursework.. lols.. and i have nothing to hand in -.- zz.

today rain wor ! suddenly feel like going downstairs just to get drenched. but when i tell mommy i wan go out. mommy say rain. ask me go where. i say go buy things. she scold me -.- in the end didn`t go out. haiis. then go toilet bathe cold water. felt the same. just that toilet got ppl shout me nia "lang fei shui! kuai dian lah !".. "YING AH! CHU LAI !!".. i didn`t make a noisy. wanna freeze nia. lols. in the end didn`t. cos, i`m bathing in my mom`s room de toilet mah.. then, she cannot take her stuff. lols. in the end she was damm damm angry at me. on my hp de mp3. go in toilet. wanted to sing while bathing. but then .. cannot.. -.- not no voice. is cos.. i let water sprinkle onto my face.. the water went in.. then cough cough. lol.

drank liang teh. throat damm uncomfortable. then cold cold de. drink liao relive a bit. -.- then after that i ate biscuit. haha. then again.. pain~ not pain liao. lols. mommy buy the fish de dunno what cracker.. then ate lohs. lols. later mux drink liang teh again. if not tmr no need talk liao. xD
dunno tmr will rain mah lehs. hmms. *prays prays* dun rain pls. tmr is the day i wanna be hyper. going play batminton with kor and shaun they all de. cannot rain ! dun wan wind ! i wan HOT HOT HOT HOT SUN !! :( pls?

well.. xi wang bu hui rain bahs !! haiis.. if not jiu slack somewhere lohs o.O
tmr hope no sub lesson. i dun wan stay in sch. planned to go sch sleep le. cos. tonight dunno can sleep not. hmms.
this morning dunno which furking idert. 3am++ called me.. i`m sure it`s a bung.. hmms.. it`s like.. wadda hell. in the middle of the night leh! somemore ask me IRRITATING QUESTIONS!!
grrrrrrrr. wan know what she asked mahs?! hmms.. bu fang bian say here.. grr.. my ans was "NO!" then ask who she was. she was like.. "u really dunno?" i guess i know.. the voice.. hmms.. o.O was like.. irritated.. then shouts "who u lah?!" den she cut me, ask me wad i doing. den i ans:"sleeping lah !!" then she diam for awhile then hang up liao. kiam pa. who the hell isit lohs !! call again tonight jiu zhi dao!! the person could only be 2 person. cos the voice damm like it. hmms.. who cares. i don`t. bout the two -.-

I WANT PANBESY !! grrrrrrrrrrrrr..
now the irc ppl trying to snap me outta the ****. -.- i oso dunno where it comes from. dots! well.. nothing to blog bout le.. jus..

takkare of urself*?
:( dun get too busy til forget me ^^.

well..

2006-07-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

didn`t go school today. pon tan.
2nd day without morning sms. hmms.. o.O

Ytd talked to baby on the phone. talked till 1 am plus. and then felt stomach ache. Then felt like vomitting. Rushed to the toilet but nothing comes out. felt terrible for a moment there. Went back to my room and then looked at hp. hmms. sick of the themes and all that. BLAH BLAH~ Was too lazy to change the wallpaper too. didn`t have much nice pics to put there. decided to put my last time de pic. hmms. it looked a bit disgusting, but i`m fine with it.

Was low in school. didn`t chat much but crapped alot. Whole day was like.. writing things non-stop. no matter is it POA notes, or is it chem corrections. i will sure have something else to write on the table de. I bought 3 pens which can be like.. writen on the table de. then decided to draw things on it. wrote emo emo de things on it. hmms.. some comes from songs. some is what i felt. haha! write on table, ppl NOT from my sch cannot see ! lols. my school de see le oso dunno what i writing. lols!!

hmms.. well.. drawn names for fun then.. realised cannot rub away -.- nvm.. after a school holiday or so will have ppl help me wipe away de. haha!!

stomach ache, sis oso dio. lols. think was cox of the vrab we had lohs. mommy bought crabs again. -.- so full liao she still expect me to eat finish 1/2 a crab. she say not big. then was like.. ohh ohh. in the end.. i crack the thing for mommy eat. cos she help make for my sis mah ! nv make for me somemore. -.-
they very cute de lohs. take hammer out jus to eat the crab de 'giap giap'. LOL~ then 'bang bang' here and there. all i did was.. bite. haha! mommy say i bian tai. later teeth drop. my teeth is strong!! cos i ate calci-yum ! lols. calcium helps both teeth and bones to grow well mahs.. also helps in the kidney and liver de dunno what isit? *is that calcium or.... vitamin dunno what?* dots ! i`m not a very good F&N student lahs!! kekes.

Got back chem de paper. that one that was a 'surprise test' for me only. cos i forgotten ALL BOUT IT~ xD then.. suppose to fail cos the only equation i know is this. :
CaCO3 + HCl -->> CaCl2 + CO2 + H2O
i remember calcium and magnesium same.
Ca2+ and Mg2+. so.. i replace every Mg2+ with Ca2+.
then.. yah.. score in section B lohs. lols!! got like.. 26/40.
1st time i pass chem actually. so happy !! xD

Maths paper i got like..
11/20 for test 1. didn`t do the 2nd page -.-
20/20 for test 2. so happy~ lols. exellent~ teacher write de horr! lols.
overall is 77.5/100. If o lvl so easy jiu hao le lohs!!
Not bad ah val. test 1 win me ^^
Jia you for yr algebra thingiees. some of it u strong in de. like sub the things in to the fomular. But if u take some time to look at the numbers, some of it no need fomular de. Quest which needs fomular will be 4 mark or 3 mark de. no have 2 marks de. lols. need help can come find me on yr algebra. others me not strong. cos.. hopeless tuition teacher and i didn`t study liao xD sec 3 de sub i think hai ke yi. sec 4 de dun ask me !! lols. and i think u better do some simultanious. zhen de.. -.-sub here sub there very easy de. like me lohs. practice on 200 quest den will master it liao -.- my tuition teacher so hiong right? LOL~

now no more tuition liao~ only call me do my TYS. zzz. as if i got do de. last time got motivation. now no have xD even mom dun care me liao. helping me look for job liao lohs. dots.
ask me go 'wallet shop' in heeren. like dada liddat. but mux sign atleast 6mth de contract. i den don wan. work in town, mux serve so many ppl. somemore. wallets.. -.-
wan work at shops liddat go work at 'sembawang music' or those sell CD de mahs! then got songs to listen. can entertain myself with music all day long~ lols. after o lvls ask ahwee pull me in. xD bishan de sembawang. hmms.. like very bu fang bian hor? who cares! lols. if not jiu shi.. the pet shop that my mommy say de lohs. can play with the cute cute de pups~ ^^ ke aiii~~
if not.. go learn to be a beautician. get a cert then work for daddy.
if not.. Go my godpapa de confectionary work lohs!! full time. hmms.. hard working abit will have atleast 1k++ de bahs o.O
but then.. hopefully can get in poly. if not die die oso mux go in nafa. fanne says prepare portflio for them. they like it accpet liao den ok le lohs? -.- got so easy mehs. how many millions of art students out there. and somemore i dunno art at all. i know sing sing sing nia. HAHA~
ooh~ got part-time singer de ma? lols. part-time singer. o.O good idea right? -.- later ppl throw tomato, vegetables, eggs.. blah blah.. lols. i need money seriously lahs! grr..

-w900i
-korea trip (ah ma ah gong and xiao gu..)
-taiwan trip (sis dad and mom)
-cruise trip (with school ppl and my aiai* -not confirm) *aiai is who i oso dunno -.-
-thailand trip (shop shop shop~~)
-xiong mao bear bear
-the les book in popular o.O

all that is damm ex lahs! grr.. from cheapest de buy 1st !
the book is 46.90. bear bear is 49.90. thai will cost me 600? cruise will need bout 600 too. w990i is 998. taiwan is ard 1500 there bahs. KOREA IS DAMM EX ! sobx. according to what aunt told me. i mux bring 2800 SGD. sobx ! round up 3000. work 3 months then enough -.- after o lvls. JIA YOU! die die mux get a job !! grrr..
OOH YAH ! piano. T.T

cheaper things i want now would be like..
BAG~ SHOE~ stuff liddat. hmms.. xD
JIA YOU~ save up money~!!! xD
with the cost of bills now.. hp de. house phone de. and electricity de. mom sure kpkb den deduct my allowance will dunno left how much de. T.T as if i`m the only 1 using those! other then my hp. haiis! suppose to be like 7 SGD. now left 4 SGD. -.- my bday wu lun ru he mux invite ppl come my house play play eat eat. then adults mux gamble play majiong!! liddat i got ang pao~ xD yay!! sep 17 !! Hope daddy faster strike lotterryyy!! then can change hp. muahaha!! nope. i wan new hp. dun wan trade in my w550i !! too many things inside liao. hmms.. lols.

anyone wanna try holding a 5KG weight and then stretch out yr arms. forming a 90 degrees from yr under arm til yr waist? xD shiver like shit liddat.. so heavy. cannot make it. 1,2,3,4,5 POM~ cannot liao. lols. left hand worst. 1,2,3.HAHA~ kayys lah. shall update tonight.

hmms.. o.O jing tian hui you ren xiang wo mah? we`ll see bout it.

hmms..

2006-07-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

I`ve already forgotten what i`ve planned to blog yesterday.
Blogger was lagging and in the end i didn`t get the chance to blog.
Here are some informations..

Night-blindness- a condition where a person is unable to see properly, especially at night. The cause of this in a deficiency in Vitamin A, also known as retinol, which is needed for the formation of a light-sensitive pigment in the retina of our eyes that enables us to see in dim light. Eating food which is rich in vitamin A helps to rectify the condition. Examples of food rich in vitamin A are liver, milk, eggs, orange-coloured fruits and vegetables.

Anaemia- it occurs when there is a lack of haemoglobin in red blood cells to transport oxygen to other parts of the body. When this happens, cells in the body cannot produce enough energy. A person will then look pale, feel very tired and weak, and also lack of concentration. People who are anaemic are girls who are menstruating, pregnent women, vegetarians, and those who restrict their food intake in order to lose weight. To rectify the condition, the person should eat food rich in iron, such as liver, eggs and dark green vegetables. In addition, he or she should ensure that food with folate and vitamin B12 should be included in the diet.

EATING DISORDER:
Anorexia nervosa- People with a distorted image of their body desire ti be slim. They deny themselves food or refuses to eat. As a result, they become extremely thin. Their body dlowly wastes away as there are too few calories for the body`s needs.
Victim suffers weight loss, hair loss, listlessness, sleeplessness, tiredness, possible damage to kidneys and reproductive organs. Without help, the condition can be fatal.

add on: According to real life experiences, i found out that, even if they were to eat something(which is extremely little), they would find a way to get rid of the calories that they had taken in. For example, vomitting, or doing excersices to burn off fats in their body. Normally, they burn up more than what they`ve eaten. Anorexia can cause depression too. Where one feels that they`re living in the end of they world. Feels that no one cares about them. They could be quite emotional too.

Bulimia- People with bulimia eat too much! In fact, they are fond of garging on high-calories foods. After which they binge. They usually try to get rid of the food by including vomitting. Other then vomitting, they also uses laxatives or diuretics to remove the food from their body. This cause them to be dehydrated. The organs in their body could also be damaged. It might even cause internal bleeding and eventually, death.

add on: Vomitting cause the oesophagus(gullet) to burn, as in our stomach, there are gastric juices which is mixed with the food we have eaten. When we vomit the food out, the gastric juices, together with the food is being pass out. There have been cases where bulimic people dies due to long-term binging(vomitting). Like Anorexia, bulimia could cause depression too.

However, there are cases where a person suffers from both at the same time. This is when he/she is too obssesed to lose weight. But due to a particular reason, could not/ is forced to eat. This person might not say a thing about it, but, he/she would be likely to feel guilty of what he/she had eaten. As a result, he/she might vomit everything he/she eats.

As for PANBESY, It caused me to be weak. I don`t know why. But after val reminded me that, i`ve been skipping my meals and told her that i was full. Not like other people who takes penbesy, i don`t really drink that much water. But also, for goodness sack, also not like the others who the doctors advice to lose 1 kg per week. i lost 9 kg in 5 weeks. -.-"
That`s too much, my teacher says. I`m going to the doctor soon i hope. i hope the doctor will not forbid me from panbesy. Although now, i`m weak, anaemic and a bit of symptoms to be turning into bulimic soon. I really felt guilty that moment in the toilet while washing my hands. I stared at the toilet bowl for awhile, thinking if i should binge.
Also, thinking of the things mdm ng was talking about. Burning of oesophagus, death. I don`t want to die yet.

Hmms*.. the blood test shows that my liver is alright. Not like my mom`s. she did not inhertited anything to me YET. According to mdm Ng, fish liver oil will NOT help my high triglycerides to reduce. because, it`s also oil ! I`ve stopped medicating now and i realised that the cramps comes back once in awhile. either i eat/drink too cold (like what my mom says) or i ate things which are acidic and i didn`t know.

I found out from the internet that PANBESY will cause liver to swell. I don`t know if it`s true, but the doctors won`t risk my life will they? My liver isn`t THAT weak i hope? The cramps are most properbly due to triglycerides -.-"

well. I MISS YA TOO~ ^^

Okayys. Now back to my siao language! wahkaka!~ woohoo~ hyper tonight wor!! ^^
LOLS~ *jux finish my strawberry CALCI-YUM!* lols.
it cost me like.. $1.95 lols. got 4 inside somemore. gave 1 to shaun and 1 to vanessa. hmms.. kekes. well. i cannot eat too much of it cos, it helps children to grow taller !! heard that it`s not gonna have effects on me cos i`m 16 already. and i`m not CHILDREN. lols. hmms.. well.. it taste like normal de yoghart. just abit more sweet -.-

KY- why u tell jayven yr dream~ omg lah!! u know who my baby de mah?!! lols. secret lehs!! u tell her.. omg.. lalala~
hmms.. well well.. i dreamt bout something ytd while taking a nap!! i woke up after 1st dream cos someone sms me. i woke up 2nd dream cos alarm rings -.- ahhh~ saddening !!
hmms.. my bai ma wang zi. lols. *drools* -omg sinying so gaga-
well.. errrms.. the peck on my cheek and forehead was sweeett~ wee~ lols.
KYKYKYKY~ sinying gonna fly away liao. lols. jux a dream -.-
then after that (in the dream) got sms. hmms.. funny de lehs.. i know who is it but dun tell u all! woohooohooohooo~ sms bout somethng lorrhs.. lols~ then woke up le -.-

summary-
1st dream was somewhere dark. dunno where too. got breeze.. hmms.. o.O the peck on my cheek and forehead. didn`t get to see the person man. lols. it felt so... AHHHHHHHHH~ *gagagagaga* hmms.. ^^

2nd dream was like.. the sms thingiee? dunno came home from where.. whakaka~ :)

*cough* i need water le~ xD lazy. dots dots. happy wor. got ppl miss me lehs! T.T touched~ so happy~ awwww.. kekes.

FINAL plannings for this coming friday.
shaun and i and aaron going play batminton at..
my hse here *YAWNS LAHS!*
val, al, yk, fanne, ky- wan come mahs? we`re meeting up at 1:30 or 2:00
after sch go home 1st. or some might wanna go makan 1st? hmms..
forget bout net. no poles dere. zz.
then.. shaun say wan bring his shuttercock. dunno later feather will drop out de mah o.O
like last time HOR !! dunno who smack the thing till..... DOTS !
then i remembered my shoe stuck in the tree ! -.-
then fann would be mad after hearing "JING YIIYIIIII~" lols.
hmms.. hao. who wanna go contact me asap wor!!

AND HOR !! Val, shaun, aaron. bring yr own racket TY~ -.-
me racket dunno HOW MANY BILLION years liao de. nv change the strings too. wahkaka.
my baobei de grip lemme make till like SHIIT! -.- bao bei no more nice nice liao. well.
fanne ahh! i know u no racket. i bring for u bahs -.- only 2 i`ll bring then ~ tatatata~

REMEMBER !! friday got nothing on. SO FAR lahs. got SS de classtest only.

thursday got maths classtest. so sin ying mayb pon tan again -.- sure fail de this time. what u call that? errm.. proberbility? WADEVER ! grrr.. my tuition teacher busy with wedding and blah blah blah. dun care me liao le. dang~ :(

hmms.

2006-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

well. yupp. new blog skin.
i`m kinda sick of the old one. -.-
last time was the Go H.O.T de song. so noisy.
then was the tag board. grrr..
now ok liao le. i serch many many skins. can change them if i want to.
but.. need help xD cos. i`m not good at blogskins. wahkaka.

hmms.. sat night went sister de concert. then.. was quite nice lah.
their school very happening. not like mine. sian sian de.
hmms. after that went aaron kor de hse. his bday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~

den.. SUPPOSE to ton there lah.
but then ended up i`m the only female thats going to stay. IF i stay lah.
but in the end.. i decided to go off at ard 4++ am. cos KYKY oso going off that time mahs.
den.. walk with KYKY go sun plaza buy roti prata for her mommy.
oh my tian ahh!! like.. very "little" oil lehs! xD
little till can let insects swin liao. lols.

then.. can stand only got like, 1 pathetic looking cabby. den let KYKY go home 1st. since her house is further. hmms. yupps. then i walk out to the main road and got a cab.
damm uncle. went 1 big big round den send me home. -.- dunno is deaf or what de. told him "uncle turn at the traffic light"
he went OVER the traffic light. sommore he say "oh oh okok". dots!! then reach home liao so happy lohs xD was like.. 7 dollars. from sun plaza there to my house!! irritating!! hmms..
went home 1st thing is.. MY PILLOW !! den was like.. AHH!! urgent !! then rush to toilet. wahkaka. then bathe and blah blah blah. then when i lay on bed.. check hp awhile. see got sms or what not. den no have xD then look at the time. OMG 6:04 i think. if i not wrong -.-

then today woke up at like.. 2pm? lols. eat le then sms baby.
cos.. cannot sms other person le :(
cannot too xi guan. cos like.. mayb ppl oso dun want me xi guan bahs? hmms. u`ll nv know what the other person`s thinking. so best is.. bu yao.. KE SHI.....
in the end.. at night dunno what time.. wo hai shi shou yang send le yi ge sms. xD
then.. chat awhile on the phone lohs. keep on "shoot" me de -.-
cos making blog mah. den make till i wan cry liao. xD
in the end.. with A LITTLE HELP. i`m able to finish the blog ! woohoo~
well. now that my daddy just stepped into the house. i`m so going to get scoldings from him again. not suppose to online til so late de. -.- die die.

*ahem* yahs. lols.
i dunno what happen to SOMEBODY.
why liddat? in the end i think i know why liao. cos dad right?
hmms.. like.. yahs.. i do understand in some ways bahs..
well SOMEBODY.. u can call me de u know? -.-
u`re there for me. let me be there for u oso lah ! kiam pa !
told u liao. my hotline only open to SOME ppl. NOT ALL WOR~
haha. SOMEBODY. u`re one of them. so u can call me anytime de mah !
cannot be that u dunno my hp de bah. haha.
well.. my hp won`t no batt de. cos.. low batt i`ll freak out. o.O
yupps. i like to receive sms from PPL ma. so mux wait xD
jk lahs. need me can call me yah, SOMEBODY. u know who u are. ^^

as for KYKY-
yupps. we`re kinda.. alike..
just that.. yr dream is happening to me in real life.
and i can tell u. it`s damm sweeettt~ woohoo~ xD
so sorry.. sinying gaga over it liao. haha!
hmms.. sorry ah. siao charbo lai liao. i can nv be NOT crazy. haha!
not crazy means.. normal.. den means.. i`ll start thinking alot alot !!
NOO~ bao bu rong yi bu yong xiang leh !
think bout what? hmms.. MAMA LOHS! PAPA LOHS ! hais ! and my family de tai ji. tell u all u all oso cannot do anything bout it. cos me myself and i have no idea what they`ll be doing bout my life seriously. they had stopped my medication. dun borther to bring me to doctor to get my bloodtest done. dun even wan to let doc monitor me isit? i wanna know if the thing went down.
if i were to STOP it.. hmms.. physically i`ll change right? change for goodness sack! lols. i dun wanna be fat liao ! grrrr..
female homones is not a good way to keep a proper way of maintaining yr period timing. seriously. -.- the side-effects are too much for me to take. somemore.. i stopped it for awhile. then now realised i`ve got IT* inheritated by daddy. -.- why can`t i be healthy for once.. my liver de thingiee might be regarding the blood thingiee.. cox.. last time young got kidney de thingiee. hao tong ku ooh ! hao bu rong yi no need go KKH. -.- doc took too much blood samples liao. now i not enough blood. hahaha!
the period thingiee is caused by pemisy. i dnno how to spell liao. but.. yah.

funneh leh. i went on medication for my mens thing. den side effect is, i`ll be FAT ! like i am now. then now i`m fat, i go on medication again. cos i dun wan to be fat!! grrr ! lols. then now. the medication which help me NOT to be fat is helping me NOT to have periods too -.- by right i MUST go back on the FATS medication. where i have MULTIPLES of meds. like.. "bu xie" de med.. to make my body system stronger abit.. then won`t have "ping xie". then won`t always faint like i used to last year. LOL~ so kong bu. on the way to sch will 'white out'.
my parents still dun believe bout the faint thingiees.. nvm nvm -.- forget it liao. no point teling them too. teacher oso dun believe me. wan see my parents. see lohs. kick me outta sch jui hao. only like. few person see be4. vanessa once told me when i white out.. say my face very white! no colour of blood. -.- like zombie. lols. i know de. 1 way to ease the white out was actually to increase my blood sugar lvl. to pop in a sweet or drink something sweet. -.- that time i brought sweets liao ahh.. but sugar free -.- no effect. dots~

don`t say i mei xing mei gan. i got. jux that they`re not working well. lols. seriously saying. life now is happy for me liao. hmms.. ^^ ppl who read it.. dun show me yr sympathy! i dun wan wor !. cos i am who i am. siao char bo. LOL~
i cannot be like other ppl. so perfect. short cute cuddly blah blah blah. but i am who i am. though.. i`m not like the rest. but i`m me. xD

just be mad and crazy like me. and CLING ONTO whoever whatever whereever. LOL~
CLING ONTO LIFE~ woohoo~ xD

sha gua and baby ahh. if u all really so bu ting hua read this horr.. i oso bwg. cos. i haven know how to put PW in my blog yet -.-

xiao xiao xiao~ yao HA HA HA HA da xiao~ keke^^

low. sad. isolated.

2006-07-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

dunno what happen. high bu qi lai. mood yue lai yue low.
baby ahh.. i know it`s not meant for competition.
but i won anyway. let me happy awhile lah.
well..

today is my f&n practical exam. i used broccoli.

morning dunno what to sms. cos i see no sms in my hp.
hmms.. in the end. asked shaun to help me translate my sms into malay.
den typed and send.
in the end.. reply was also in malay.
reply so bad de things. sad.
ask me dun care u. u dun wan drink water.
say u dun care me. dun care if i cry. :(
nvm..

haiss ya!! think not cos of these i sad de lah.
i go play maple awhile le loh. train kor awhile.
takkare.. u*..

haiss yoo yoo..

2006-07-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Hmms.. tmr is inter. friendship dae..
i`m gonna wear like malay.. and den..
yah.. lols.. hmms.. wonder what april and val gonna wear man..
hmms.. today hen bu xi guan..
whole day nv reply my sms..
nv even send me sms..
the no. of times i take out my hp to check is like..
every dunno how many mins. -.-
dian dian dian. den now u asking me go jio the 185cm de bung!
PIAK NI AH ! :( haiis..
i dun wanna ask if u got think of me. cos later same ans again.
was thinking.. if u dun wan reply sms cos of the 'xi guan' thing.
but then.. haiis yoo yoo.. my friends kept me busy with porns in sch xD
yah.. dots.. hmms.. total turn OFF de porns. -.- eew eew.

well.. hmms.. today de day jiu liddat only lohs..
yk kept phyco-ing me go sch !
but i dun wan ~ sob.. i wan stay at home orh orh..
but then.. hai shi go bahs -.- since i "PROMISE" yk..
i oso dunno when i promise her de man..

well well.. lols.. met a very tall person in irc -.-
SO TALL!! 16 yr old nia. so hard to believe man !
well.. 1 out of like.. 100 b lor.. xD

kiam pa de CaCl2. toking to someone else i think.. hmms..
wo de xi guan shi bu shi tai qi guai liao?
lols.. bu dong la bu dong la.. dun wan think till too much..
and hor.. BU YAO JIAO WO JIO BIE REN KE YI MAH!!
wo hammer ni ni cai dong ahh!!!
cos even if i dunno u.. i won`t oso de.. cos i dun dare xD
wo bi jiao xi huan bie ren jio wo ke yi mah! lols..

hao lah.. hen lei le.. ru guo.. later u nv call de hua.........
den i dunno liao :(
hmms.. i shall stop here..
and.. hope yr voice recovers soon ooH~ ^^

i`m feeling.. happy.. ^^

2006-07-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

oh my oh my oh my god!
my left de eye lid.. xi, nu, ai, le..
xi wor~ means something happy will happen later o.O
hmms.. wonders what it is.. hehehes!!

Jux now when i`m trying to get some sleep, daddy come in the room.
NAG NAG NAG~
not as if i didn`t do the house work lohs! is do le, he nv see.
he dunno how to think. later at night val bathe le will have more clothes right!?
den if i nv wash today de clothes, tmr val no uniform go sch. den daddy will blame EVERYTHING on me.
so, I WILL WASH DE LAHS!
soo soo angry. she can sit in front of the comp and watch show.
i wan sleep nia. NAG NAG NAG.
somemore. NAG once not enough. nag like.. dunno how many times.
over different things.
somemore when i was sleeping liao time..
he came in pull the blanket and den wack me lohs!
FOR NOTHING!! what the hell i do lohs!!
he say what.. "i ask u wash clothes u sleep.. ask u clean the house u dun wan"
I DID I DID I DID!!
val sick.. MC today.. I COOK FOR HER LEHS!! kns.. hmmps!!
all i say back my dad was like.. "everything i did u nv sees them.. i DID IT LIAO LE LOHS!"
"later val bathe still got clothes right?! not as if i dun wan wash lohs!"
"mommy go m`sia means everything me lah? u cannot do anything?"
"say so much oso no use. all my fault lohs. wan wack jiu wack bahs!"

think he didn`t hear the wack wack thing.
den he gives me attitute. den go off to work FOR GOOD!
then wake up le due to the pulling of my blanket and the nagging..
i cannot sleep well mahs.. den.. feel a bit unwell..
feel like vomitting. den go toilet. nothing comes out.
ate a bit of mee fen he bought. but nothing comes out too.
he drank finish the wine liao. tonight i got nothing to drink le -.-
head still spinning now. grrr~

Today got class de photo taking. hmms.
i know i ugly. si baby!~ -.-
that`s why i dun like to have photo taking sessions mahs! cos..
like.. all stand in 1 positions. some will look great with the position.
some will look ugly like me -.-
shoot me till liddat.. kiam pa de baby!
den decided not to reply 1 of her sms. see what she`ll say. BUT SEEMS LIKE SHE DID NOTHING!! xD
after that kelson ask me. den i say.. i wan see what she`ll do mah.. wah lao~ in the end she bo chap me -.- waste my time for taking those pictures after sch. -.-
those pic looked damm stupid ahh. lols.

err.. yah.. sha gua wans to sleep. sure no listen in class de right? o.O
hmms.. wrote chi words on my file and mms her. wahkaka~
i was in chinese lesson mahs! teacher bo chap me oso -.-
everyone was like.. doing their own things lorr..
i drawing words.. val writing letters.. jessica dunno doing what..
crabison and aleyluyah.. like be4 lorr.. still crapping -.-
then the rest of class is out of reach xD

well.. for the photo taking thing, zhen ting put on eye liner wor! lols.
he looks like.. cos-player in it man.. hmms..
"part of LYCIFY" LOL~
den.. took pic with zhenting and weisong. ^^
hmms.. huifen say like.. tourist wan take pic with monkeys from zoo. HAHA!
den chuanchern took pic with my hp oso lorr.. den we took pic too.
whole class had been taking pic. haha!
today de lesson.. other den chem.. like all free periods lehs. mind as well stay at home orh orh.
waste time go sch~ stay at home oso sian . not my comp day too. cheh~

Whole day didn`t sms much wor. hmms..
cos shagua tired bahs. den go rest lorrs.
spent my day crapping like usual. haiis..
happy that someone missed me bahs! ^^
dunno got bluff me not o.O
better then i asked again den that person say "don have"
-.- even if ask me guess oso same ans de mahs! qi si ren..
but.. happy to receive sms like.. everyday and night! wahkaka
though there's times i have to wait till LATE night.
or sometimes have to wait till LATE morning.
but better den nothing bahs? lol..
yeekuan say oso le mahs. "u dunno how to sms her mehs!!"
no. i dunno how. haha~ i like to receive her sms.
den see what she gotto say to me mahs! hahaha~
cos if i sms her.. den she reply me de things like. limited de..
she sms me 1st she`ll say more things. hehehes~
though.. sometimes scare to see those sms which i`m UNWEILLING to see..
u know what i mean right? o.O haha. mei clever will know de ^^
but horr.. receive her sms very exciting de leh! cos u dunno what she`s gonna tell u today.
stm mah. she forgets what she say ytd de. so everything will be diff everyday. hahas~

aww~ smiles asked me what i want for bday gift.
i say i wan sunflower! haha
den found out in the end.. got perfume call sunflower de.
it`s an old perfume. a bottle for $60. samples are selling at $1 each. smiles say de.
hmms.. dunno much bout perfumes.. -.-
so.. it`s better for me to get REAL de sunflowers bahs. though they`re duan zhan de mei hao.
ke shi.. duan zhan que you tian mei. ^^
dried flowers can stay like.. nice lorr..
but sunflower cannot. dried de sunflower very ugly :(
so, cherish it before the sunflower ku wei diao.

wo jin tian you xiang ni oh..
hmms.. ye you dian chi chu de gan jue -.-
bao zhong le! xie xie ni na ge 'bloody' de zhutou -.-
^^ wahkaka~
bu yao jiang wo lame and mad le lah! o.O

- siao siao ben nu ren -

woo hoo~

2006-07-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

MY COMPLICATING LIFE IS DRIVING ME MAD !!
well.. i`m not zhen chang. xD
hmms.. i oso dunno how to say..
mayb today de post will be sacastic abit.. cos i drunk be4 i typed..
anything that i said wrongly.. pls duo duo yuan liang..

for jack..
i know how u feel lah.. is actually no difference from my situation.
i`m waiting for someone whom i dunno can get her de mahx.
u too bahs? and someone is waiting for u. and dunno can get u mahx too.=.=
complicating enough? haiis yoo yoo.

like what i did before. if i cannot get it. then.. hope ni xin fu kuai le jiu hao. yi cie tong ku bei shang wo zhi ji lai kang. -.- of cos hope no need to be alone lahs! hmms..
ytd i oso dunno what the hell i`m thinking man..
but everytime u say "give up" or "leave" like.. PAIN LOHS! qi si ren.
hmms. yeah. i get really angry de xD
everytime ask if u missed me. u wld say no de. -.-"
today ans me "u say lehx?"
no need say de lohs. everytime will be the same de mahs! -.-
today i whole day missing. nv sms ka jiao u much.
u oso like bo chap bo chap.
den come home le online tell me yr 1st ex sms u ask u miss her ma..
den so angry lohs! like.. wah lao~ hummps.
den told u my 3rd ex sms me ask me got miss her not.
4th ex call and say she miss me.
5th ex sms me ask me meet her up cos she miss me lotsa.
6th ex call me say wan meet me cos she miss me alot.
something liddat lahx. but wadda hell!
all u said was like.. "go lohx"
grrrrr~ *clunch fist*
qi si ren qi si ren.
I ONLY GOT 2 EX LAHS!! >:(
and none of them sms me de -.-
one same class.
one in hospital. somemore got stead liao. lolx.
haiss ya~
the one in hospital no count no count! -.-
2 days nia. xD made me guilty enough. lols.
hmms.. hmms.. no count is she say de. not me lols~

well.... today didn`t go school.
blur blur see wrong time. den blur blur rish take cab.
blur blur go sch den dun even know my idex no. for o lvl. -.-
den blur blur follow val go in the class.
den blur blur see got a table empty den check. OOH~ MY NAME~ -.-
den blur blur look at the teacher. den blur blur listen to the thing.
den after that blur blur go mos burgers chit-chat.
den blur blur go home -.-
crapped alot today lahs. haiis yoo yoo.
fei mao ahh fei mao!! wo liao jie ni de gan shou. cos, wo ye shi yi yang de ben! hahaha~
ke shi.. dang ben dan.. yao wei le zhi de ni qu ben de ren ben ooh..
zhi yao ni ren wei ben de you jia zhi. wo bu hui zhu zhi ni gen wo yi yang ben de! wahkaka~

hmms.. anyways.. kekes.
sinying a bit high tonight.
siao siao liao le.. kekes.
anyway..
woohooo~~~
sat going ton at kor house there.. hmms.. bu jui bu gui~ lols.
we`ll see bout it la.. be4 that sis got concert -.- zz
so mayb going that after the concert thing lorrhs.
hmms.. yupps.. bo bian.. sister there die die mux go de. zz

UPDATE UPDATE!!
wadda hell~ SOMEONE ASK ME GO AND DIE MAN! :'(
forget it.. haiis.. i take everything she said so.. seriously den she liddat -.-
so.. saddening lorr.. haiis.. nvm nvm..
say le more sad. today cannot sad. baby sleeping le. xD
dunno lah. mayb the way i treat u now diff le.
den or not is.. yi dian xi huan wo de feeling ye mei you liao lorr -.-

DON`T WAN UPDATE LE~
someday.. if u wanna let me know u like me.. or love me.. u will de.. no need me anyhow guess.. RIGHT?!
don`t wan update liao.. bwg..

i dunno whatta do ~

2006-07-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

hmms.. why why why!!

haiis. wo zi si. i know u very xin ku. but i dun wan let go.
haiss yoo yoo. what has gotten into me man..
last time can xiao xiao sa sa say. BYE BYE~
xian zhai na me nuo ruo.

HAIS YAH!~

hmms. fri night go ton at esplanate area.
memorable night bah. thought stm de shagua will forget every single thing clean for good! :(
hmms. i didn`t forget anything that i think is sweet and important.
haha.. hmms.. yah..
the way i lie down to sleep. whole body blue black xD

well.. i wasn`t really in deep sleep yet. so i know whats going on actually.
how i hope time wld stop there? that instant. lols.
impossible to stop time i know.
lalala~
na zhong gan jue. bu hui wang de.

den.. after that going home time..
blah blah.. on bus i received a sms wor. happily open up and see. but den..
haiis..
u say mayb this is last time meeting me le..
nv say qing chu!! i thought what u mean.. den i tear on bus. xD somemore YK listening to those sad sad de song. lols.
no one saw bah. all too tired to hiu me le. hmms.. good lah lols..
den.. when i alone liao.. receive reply.. hmms..
so, u`re toking bout u`ll be busy. haha~ how stupid of me..
scare u leave xD

den.. after that.. go home sleep lorr.. hmms..
den after i woke up, den baby call me go out.. siao ahh~
bugis leh! i somemore jux open eyes nia. xD lazy go oso. lols.
den in the end.. they 2 come my hse.
UNEXPECTEDLY, my aunt came over with her 2 kids too. -.-
we go room lorr.. hmms..

den thristan came in..
my sis ask him, "that green green de jie jie pretty mah?"
he said yes wor !!
den my sister asked again.. "that white white de jie jie pretty mah?"
den he hasitate awhile den shy shy say yes. HAHA~
so funneh man~ ^^
den after that my sister ask thristan like girl or boy..
he say "boy".. "i like boy"
oh my god lah~ lols.. and i now then know. hahaha~
hmms.. jayven is thristan de 6th gf~ hahha!!

den they stayed over lorr.. den.. mommy kao peh till i wan kill her.. tok so much!!
lols.. den morning.. dunno y.. they bian tai ahh.. see me wash face.. hmms..
-.- well well.. i know my room very cold~ lols..

I DONT WAN BLOG LE LAH~ NO MOOD LE~~~

hmms..

2006-07-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

Xie xie ni. rang wo you tian tian de gan jue. ^^

face everything with a smile isn`t that easy.
everyone has got own prob. own reason to be sad and happy about.
i don`t wanna care bout the past.
cos now de me still so stupid -.-
not much different. hahaha~
hmms..

yeah.. what i`ve got in my mind.. kinda.. tried to put it in words and say le bah?
dunno if thats what i really feel lah.. i mean.. i not good in expressing myself bahs.
hmms.. understand jiu hao la.. lols..

hmms.. dunno.. i feel very daring today..
daring de girl very cute meh?
always say i siao/mad de :(
xi huan and ai.. wo dong le..
hao xiang bu shi xi huan ooh.. -.-''
lols..

well.. wo shi bei zhen xi teng ai den ben dan zhu tou~
hmms.. lols..

wo xin li you shu.. ^^
hao xiang jing jing bao zhe ni ooh.. dian dian dian..
i think i drink too much again xD
wanted to try the taste of my daddy de "black opal"
hmms.. x^^x

so happie~ tonight can sing leh~ ^^
* sings i think i *
*sings i wanna be with u *
* sings dao dai *
sing sing sing~~ lols

so.. i now know le.. everything is honey lemon de thing wor~ HAHA~ tmr go buy lemon!! xD
but.. rushing wor~ dunno can make it not.. HAIIS~
pok liao. no money~ haiss~ mother so niao~ daddy... don`t wan lah.. he very dote me liao..
hmms.. go steal.. muakaka~ jk xD

hmms.. think i better don`t blog le. lols.

* - bendanzhutou#24.72 - *

hais yoo yoo.

2006-07-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

ahhhhhhhh~
what happened!! seems like everyone who visits my blog knows what i`m going trough.
hmms.. yupp.! dunno why so many things happen within hours.

ytd night..
cos of stm.. he forgotten everything -.-"
somemore.. wants me to say EVERYTHING to remind him.
hmms.. well in the end i did lorr.. told him bout it..
den remind him bout what he smsed me in sch ^^
well.. it was sweet lah.. i got them in my hp muahaha~
after that.. was like thinking thinking bout dunno what things too.hmms..
cannot get to sleep. den received his sms at 3+am. xD
though all the things inside is so.. saddening.. but then..
i forgot the bad ones~ lalalalala~
hmms.. yup.. wo shi bei zhen xi teng ai de ben dan zhu tou xD
shhhesshh! my xiao mi mi ooh! dots...!

hmms.. that day at F&N class de sms oso sweet. wahkaka~ i went mad over it. hmms..lols

well.. but questions kept spinning in my head xD
-what`s the differents between like and love?
(i know that it`s diff. but what diff?!!)

hmms.. the rest of quest.. jux now know le -.-
hmms.. i oso feel like asking.. "since when?"
lols. but dun wan lah.. better not know..

hmms.. kinda found out that he can`t get over ooh. hmms.. it takes time de..
i understand bah.. cos i`m liddat be4 too..
hmms.. i don`t like time limitations..
i want things realistic. as in.. u`ll get over it someday de.
dunno when. mayb when that day comes. u`ll fall for someone else.
future de things very hard to say de.
just don`t wan stress up bahs.

i wrote in my letter to yk.
something liddat..
-xiang yao he ni zai yi qi
rang liang liang de feng qing qing de da zhai lian shang
bi shang yan jing xiang shou you ni de zhe yi miao
zhai wo zui jiao qing qing de zhong xia wo men de di yi ge xiang wen-
-bu xiang bu xiang zheng kai yan
wo hai pa yi qie dou shi meng jing
zhi dao ni xiao zhe shuo wo sha
cai yi yi bu she de ba yan jing zhang kai le-

lols. not that nice oso? -.- i forgot what i wrote in the letter le. lols.
all i know is.. it`s beautiful when u know the kisses meant everything the other party wants to say.
but for ppl like me.. ben ben de.. dunno what the meaning.. xD

- i think i love you, ai jiu shi zhe yang
cos i miss you, xi huan ni shan liang. pei ni qu guan guang, hui ou er chao jia, cao lei le shuo tie xin de hua.
i`m falling for you, ai jiu shi zhe yang
now i need you, xiang deng ni fang jia yao yi qi fen xiang, jing wan de xing guang . dang ni shuo yao shou bu xing fu... bu da yang...-

but i like the part.. the.. -dang ni chu xian wo shen pang, jiu gan jue ai qing de zhong liang- and the.. -qi shi ai wo bing bu fu zha- lols.
lalala~ hmms..

after the tearings during physics.. felt better.
at MRT station dere waiting for train time, saw my own wrist de thing. hmms. dunno y got tear -.- wu liao.
den.. when aaron kor ask me smile that time.. i thought of .. when see him face sian sian de time. i`ll use yk mei de skill.. the chnl u advertisment..
think liao got tears again -.- sot le.
came home and bathe for A VERY VERY LONG TIME.
let water spray on my face. den.. cold cold de water..
den sees the wristbands got back to normal colour le. lols.
bathe out le saw yr sms and baby de missed call.
hmms.. i know baby know alot le -.- so kpo of cos will know.. lols. jkjk.
sms bout the 3 mth thing.. den ask me find other ppl. i`m very angry at that time.
want 3 mth or dun wan me de. so angry. qi si ren.
den.. ah yah~ i duno lah.. qi bu dao duo jiu.. xD
den fold the stars lorr.. den cut dao hand again -.- lucky nv bleed lols.
den fell asleep somhow. lols~

now then i know. that idiot like me too. that time don`t dare to anyhow guess the feelings of others. and so i didn`t. haha. now know le. hmms.. ^^

final conclusion bout today is.. it`s hard to hold back tears..
but it`s harder to type a smiley and send it when u`re tearing. -.-

DON`T U EVER SAY SORRY AGAIN!
i don`t wan.. thank you oso don`t wan -.- lols.

and den.. no one says guy mux support their gf de ahh.. sha gua de leh! ah yoo yoo.
mayb i childish still xD still xiao mei mei de mindset.
so i don`t wan ppl support me.
that time de hp.. i oso dun wan le ahh.. lols..
pays for my expenses sometimes i dun mind. those cheap cheap de.
the rest i den dun wan. too ex de gift i very hard to accept de hmms..

i like small small sweet sweet de surprises. no need spent much $$ on me de lorr!
haiss yoo yoo..

wo xi guan zao shang shou dao ni de sms le ooh~
and wo ji de ni de wei dao. haha!!

VIRGO>>
Nobody is an island -- it's an obvious statement to say that you need relationships to get you through life. Other people provide the acid to your base, and can often be a perfect sounding board for your ideas. But in order to make the deep connections you need for total honesty, you must develop trust. The only way to do this is to take a risk and let someone in. So reach out today -- lower your drawbridge and invite someone to cross your moat.

^^ hao le lah~ i very loh soh liao lorr!~ anyways.. YK.. ty ehh.. ^^

haiis..

2006-07-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Lately de me got serious mental problems liao.
val kor say it`s state of depression.
cos it`s like. i cry, i also dunno why i cry.
mood suddenly low. dunno why too.
it`s gonna spoil my friends de mood around me.
it`s gonna make ppl hate me for it.

Mayb god heard what i prayed for?
to make others happy. she me dou ke yi.
others refers to all the people who know me.
important ppl is my mei-yeekuan. baby-jayven. shagua.
why? cos they seemed strong. but the fact that. when they`re alone.
no one wld know what they`re thinking.
they seemed like smiling but no one knows if they really are happy.

dunno why. things keep running trough my head endlessly.
i oso dunno why. it`s like. none of my prob actually.
or mayb it`s my prob.
think think think. then think of what baby told and ask me ytd.
and of cos think of what i asked her.
and.. I FORGETTEN EVERYTHING!! xD
think i`ve drank too much wine. -.-
well.. think so much mei you jie guo de.
don`t think so much oso will think de.
hao xin ku..
no matter wad i think. in the end i will be stressed up.
break down. den very very xin ku.
promise is a promise. don`t know can keep how long but i`ll try.
cannot punch walls. cannot cut. cannot do anything to hurt myself.

sorry ppl. i showed attitude this morning.
i didn`t know what was going on with me.
was feeling angered and dunno what happen to my mood too.
when kiam said that i was dumped by k* i was angry.
like.. who said that we even started? -.-
i diao him then forgot what i did le.
well.. i dunno le lah. mood swing mayb?
but in sch.. val said its depression! i don`t wan!
like.. i dun wan depression! :(
haiis.. well.. this kind of things cannot say don`t wan then don`t wan de.
i want to warn myself.. not to sink in to another 1-sided like/love/relationship.
don`t go like someone whom u know won`t like u de.
don`t go like someone whom u know u won`t be happy with.
ppl like me. and -uknowwho-. alot alot of ppl..
like wrong le ppl. did eveything just to catch some attention from someone u like
did things just to make sure he/she think of u even for that few seconds.
nope. i did not do much.
and that i oso don`t want to admit that i liked someone.
i oso dunno how i feel. mayb like le. i dun wan admit.
mayb dun like. only cos ppl disiao den i think too much.

it`s been only like few weeks since i made noise about my ex.
so fast gotten over for someone new? too fast le bahx?
i`m not sure too. mei you ba wo de shi qing. wo bu xiang chang shi.
i don`t wanna know if someone like me. i don`t wanna know if someone wld miss me.
i just know that i want to be loved and to love. i dunno when and who it`ll be.

don`t treat me too well ppl.
not worth it. only make me think think think.
den outcome is not what i thought somemore -.-
dots. dian dian dian..
i bu xi guan ji mo bahs.
bu xi guan mei you ren ai.

i know how hard isit to like someone who doesn`t know.
i know how how is it like to see them in other ppl`s hands.
i know how it feels to see them treat other ppl other den u nice nice.
i understand those feelings.
so, no matter how life wld be like in yr life.
i`ll be here and there and everywhere ard u*
my hp hotline is 24/7 on de.
operating for u* only. haha!
so no matter what. takkare. come find me anything.
wld be in class every recess don worry.
but remember DO NOT ask me anything wor -.-
hope u* know i`m toking bout u* wor. LOL~

-rang yi qie de mei hao hui yi piao dao nao hai li
jing jing de shang shuo zhai xin li
rang hui yi yong yuan liu zhai zhe li
bu xiang rang ni zhi dao wo ji de de na xie hui yi-

-for u* only~ lols.

FUCKED UP!!

2006-07-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

Dunno why.. suddenly very hyper de.. den now.. suddenly very low liao.. i dunno whats wrong with me.. someone say, this is called depression?
i dunno and i don`t wanna know. *jia zhuang duo hao..* -listening to jolin de jia zhuang.
hmms.. nice song. but dunno how to sing yet.
haiis.. how how how? now suddenly so so low le.
feel like crying out like a small baby.
feel like shouting into my pillow like i used to.
feel like hammering the wall again..
feel like cutting -.-
sudden feelings.. i oso dunno why..
hmms.. jayven baby say i think too much le?
but the thing is.. i dun even know what the FU**ing hell am i thinking.

mayb i haven xi guan thing ard me bah.
i rely too much on ppl le. -.-
still so childish right? haven grow up? haiis yoo yoo.
i oso wanna be more mature ahh..
i oso wanna change ahh..
but very hard leh..
i`m still waiting..
waiting for the day my mr.someone finds me..
don`t mind if i`m childish and irritating..
crazy and mad..
sensitive and dominant.. xD

hmms.. someone asked me.. why i don`t dare to like other ppl..
now my ans is..
cos i don`t wan in the end i like de person don like me?
i`m crazzy. will think alot alot of things de.
so i don`t dare think so much now?
i want ppl to love me. but i don`t dare to love. very selfish? -.-
i dunno la.. cos i don`t wanna hurt myself le bah?
wo chen ren.. wo xiang le hen duo. -.-
but den.. yah.. lols.. nvm nvm..
dun need think too much de bah?
think le hai bu shi same? world still gotta rotate..

i asked someone to cheer up this morning..
talked bout damm lotsa thingiees..

-u smiled when u`re taking pictures..
u smiled when u`re in front of yr friends..
u smiled when u`re standing in front of a mirror..
but..
are u really happy?
all that`s jux a fake image of u..
i know u`re sad..
even the strongest metal in the world wld rust..
sometimes.. i just feel like breaking down..
curl up..
laying in the dark dark corner with wind blowing into my face..
it wld feel cold..
but tears wld dry up..
someday.. i`ll let u know..
i`ll live on even witout u..
no heartbeat..
no palse..
no sence of touch..
no sence of laughter..
no sence of taste..
but even so.. i cld taste my tears..
it feels sour yet salty..
i feel like cutting.. but my penknife`s gone for good..
i feel like punching the walls around me.. is anyone gonna stop me?
is anyone happy when i do so?
i want to break down..
i want to cry my heart out..
but i have no reason to do so..-

____ * [[ * ben ben de ben nu ren * ]] * ____

I WANNA DIE NOW~ don`t wan blog le.. BYE!
and for yr info.. SOMEONE KILL MY MOM TOO!! MAKE HER SHUT UP!!

ah yah!!

2006-07-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh!!

KY .. zhen xiang da bao liao~ next time no need think so much so much le. hmms. expected de things ba xD though i DID think alot lah. dian dian!! xD

sinying jiu shi zhe yang lorr.. zhi zhuo duo qing, yi xiang qing yuan. xD
hmms.. jux now damm high man!~ lols. was talking to fanne.

Hmms.. this morning slept at 10++ am. went to ton overnight at east coast ytd night.
took train to yck den take bus.13.hmms.. reach there bout 11 pm? o.O
den.. drank lorr.. nv DRUNK wor! lols. play 'open number' den lose de mux drink ma.. hahas. after 1/2 bottle of henekien i cannot make it le.. xD eye very hard open. face very very hot.
lols~ den finally finish le jiu went toilet. whoa! face was damm damm red man.. like apple liddat~ xD
den.. went to sit ard on the sandy beach lorr.. sing sing. wahkaka~ den something happened. made my heartbeat increased for a min there.. didn`t wanna think too much.. but like.. that situation very hard for someone like me not to think wor~ lols. anyway.. it isn`t what i thought lah! i got the truth. lols. ^^
hmms.. was fun bah..
jayven and kzai keep on knocking into each other.. making the girl name jieting isit? laugh like dunno wad. lols. den all laugh lorr. dots.!!!!
den.. after me and kelson go walk walk den go back they dunno sleep like wad le. lols.
all tired le bah ^^
hmms.. ooh yah! i forgot!
THEY ALL WROTE LETTER FOR ME~ ^^
kzai oso got write for me post card wor. lols. xie xie ahh~
hmms.. cos i cannot see in the dark ma.. den kzai read out wad she wrote lorr.
front 3 words so.. dots lorr! lols.
hahas..

hmms.. when jayven was outside the tent reading my diary i was singing singing singing lorr. den kelson and kzai went toilet. was wondering if they stuck in toilet bowl. why so long de. in the end, i sing til song song.. turn my body a bit when i was standing at the chair ma.. den..
*shocked* WHOA~~ kelson and kzai was standing behind man xD
means.. all my zhao xia and the songs i sang they got hear la? GOD!!

ahh.. yes~..
final conclusion..
DO NOT try to lock yr friends in the tent..
cos u will nv know if the lock will spoil and den friends will be STUCK INSDIE!! xD

well.. had a gr8 time bah.. ^^
sleepy~ on bus, scare later sleep till dunno go where.. BOOST my ear with techno~ xD
den.. took bus go yck and den took cab go cwp den come home. zz tired~ lols. brush teeth bathe.. den drink milk. den *boomm~* drop on my bed hug hug my pillow sleep~ wahkaka~

oh yah oh yah!! lols.. BABY SMELL~ xD
ji qi ren shi tie da de..
dan shi tie ye hui rush de wor.. ^^

anyways, takkare ppl~

hmms..

2006-07-05T05:07:00.000-07:00

well.. i wrote story again le. find the background till very late ytd. this morning i meant -.-
like.. ermms.. yah.. jack called.. chit chat awhile.. ka jiao my sleep sia~
but den in the end didn`t sleep ahh.. dunno why cannot sleep.
wanted to sleep in school abit. but den hyper today xD brought sweets to sch oso nv eat. haha~
dunno why these days i dun feel like eating leh. val kor scare me aneroxic. xD cannot be de la. lols~
den.. ppl asking me makan too.. val recess will buy stuff for me lorr.. like today is sushi ahh.. bought 2. i ate 1. the other one i dun wan say where le xD
den got a packet of wang wang too. she ate them all xD
den.. yah..

went CWP meet up with dino kor and meow da sao. hmms.. walk walk tok tok and crap lorr. hmms.. da sao very nice person while that kor.. shoot me till i dunno what to say man..
"she look like what?"
"passive or bung?"
dasao reply :"BUNG"
wadda~ hell~ xD *heart breaksss~* *piang~*
dots lah!! like.. haiis.. yah lah.. bit flat today oso no need say me bung bah? kiam pa~
me passive lorr! grr~
saw my report book lorr them.. kek xim ahh! 8.9.8.9 de. xD
walk ard the whole mall lorr.. den.. yah.. kor treat me water melon juice. and.. yah..

so, to summarise wad i ate today, to make sure that ppl who care bout what i eat sees.. i shall type here xD

-sushi~
-watermelon juice
-a slice of honey dew
-1/2 a papaya
-2 small slice dragon fruit
-PLAIN WATER~ lols.

hmms.. later going makan strawberry! weee~ who wan? xD

all i can add in here is..
DON`T THINK TOO MUCH LAH! NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.. SHLDN`T LET IT GET IN YR WAY.

no matter is it study. r/s prob. family prob. jian qiang qi lai~
SINYING CAN DO IT! stronger!! :(
haiss..

and horr.. ppl who dunno how i feel (cos i oso dunno).. PLS dun anyhow ka jiao me le la.. i scare later i xiang bu kai ahh! lols.. well, won`t le bah.
hope 1 day when i like someone and someone likes me too.
u all mux tell her/him/them/whoever to cherish and treasure me! lols.
well.. ben nu ren ma.. KYKY.. my ans to u is..
"BU KE NENG!"
for now.. bu ke neng lahh! xD
asking someone like me.. a question like this.. wah lao~ other ppl might get offended..

well.. sis kao peh liao.. her comp day. anything contact my hp bahs. takkare. ^^

-jian qiang de ben nu ren-

hmms..

2006-07-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hais yoo yoo! soo many things happening these days man.. too much for me to blog in 5 mins time.. hmms.. well.. try my best till my dad comes back bah..

hmms.. frm 1st JULY 2006..
met up with fanne, jiawei, kiam, KYKY, guojun.. go walk walk den go marina south makan.. den yonglong came awhile den goes off to meet friends le.. hmms.. fann mux be disappointed..

den after that met someone i nv met be4 de.. kelson.. pai seh ahh.. waited for us soo long.. cos buying stuff ma.. xD vodka and titbits.. den walk walk to meet kelson lorr.. hmms..
at 1st didn`t see where he was.. xD so guess we all walked past him? hahaha.. well.. called his phone.. all he said was "kan hou mian".. was like.. "HUH!?!" den look here look there.. den see 1 very dark shadow walking towards us.. means him le bah? haha.. well, 1st glance at his face when we saw light was like.. face red red de.. haha! ^^

Dunno how KYKY think but i think her wire somehow connected wrongly.. -.- push here grab dere.. trying to 'qian hong xian' but not doing a very good job xD ppl pai seh shy shy liao still push here push dere -.-

after that we walked to esplanate there.. near the end bah.. den settle down and tok tok lorr... drank some vodka.. greentea+whisky NOT NICE! -.- some of us grabbed a stick too.. hmms..

after SOMEONE got so mad.. and think a bit drunk.. we all dunno wad to do le.. all lay down like wanna die le.. only left me and kelson down dere 'zhuo bo'. hmms.. suggested to walk down to the water there lorr.. well.. scare fall down xD
Go down there few min nia den walk up again.. so dangerous! xD lucky got ppl de hand lemme grab if not i dunno i wan use crawl de or wad le. lol~
den sit down again.. tok tok.. den kelson wanna go toilet.. den.. i pei ta qu lorr.. went to a shop near by to the toilet and bought mineral water for kiam they all.. gentleman help me kai men de wor xD.. den kelson bought a cup of corn which is DAMM SALTY!
after he feed me 1st mouth i was like.. "omg -.- salt.."
2nd mouth was like.. "salt no need money buy oso no need put soo much bah!" xD
it`s really salty! wanna get kidney failure le.. lols.. like i used to do.. i like to bite spoons xD
the mineral water oso not say very qing ooh..
got kelson to take my bag for me! wahkaka~ free service wor~ no need tax de leh! -.-

After that lehh.. waited for yonglong awhile.. den someone wanted to tell me a secret.. thought wad he wanted to say man! in the end.. all i hear is "huuuuuuuuuuu".. -.-

den rushed for last train.. poor kelson.. live so far :( pai sehh.. in the end he 1am + den reach home.. bout that time or earlier bah.. cos he sms me bout then lorr..
hmms.. yah..

err.. ytd.. chatted with someone in msn lorr..
same old thingiee i told everyone.. dun treat me too too well.. like.. i will fall for someone/ something very easily.. for me to NOT fall.. very diff.. -.-
when that someone says things like.. he will heartache when see my scars in my arms.. i was touched.. cos long long time since i hear this kinda things le.. haiis..
NORMALLY i will think FAR FAR.. but den this time.. mayb after the break downs i had.. i didn`t dare.. xD well, zhe yang ye hao la.. at least bu hui think think think den outcome is not wad i thought. haha! well.. yah.. -.-
dun dare le.. someone oso say le.. only ben dan den will xi huan sha gua de.. dunno which bai chi will xi huan wo zhe ge ben nu ren le lorr. -.-
an end is always a new start for something else.. :)

and i oso say le.. unless someone says he/she likes me.. or else i won`t think so much le bah..
so.. yah.. whoever who likes to keep calling their names in front of me.. RAO LE WO BAH!!
i dun wan to get pai seh liao.. dun wan yi xiang qing yuan.. like u* said to me in the arcade be4..
nope nope.. sinying isn`t gonna cry for u again..

sinying is trying very hard now.. very very hard.. to love herself.. den love ppl whom she loves.. dunno who yet.. but for now.. herself.. hopefully.. dunno will suceed not.. but try bahs..

as for today.. i mean.. 3rd JULY 2006..
hmms.. met up with kelson, kayven and jiawei..
go cwp crap crap.
den after jiawei go off den we went yishun..
well.. kelson is teller den me -.- face it val..
den went ard shop shop den go home le lorr..
took cab. the driver tok so much.. chao si ren..
$6++
well.. dunno wadda post le.. dun wan blog le.. lazy liao.. zz~

-ni de xiao rong wo yong ji zhai xing zhong-
-mei le ni de xiao, shi jie hao xiang dao le jing tou-
-zhi dao wo ren wei xing tiao dong jie shi-
-wo zhao hui le xin zhong de wen du-
-shui ran wen du bu shi lai yu ni-
-ke shi wen wen de gan jue rang wo chong ai shang le ai-
-neng bu neng pie kai guo qu chong xin kai shi ren shen-
-neng bu neng zai rang wo you bei ai de gan jue-
-shi bu shi wo yao qiu de tai duo tai duo-
-shi fou neng gou duo yi ge xiao xiao de yao qiu ne-
-neng bu neng da ying wo, wu lun ru he dou hui xiao zhe guo?-

not a song.. dunno wadda hell is it..
jux feel like typing something saddening de..
xD i`m too tired and bored le bah.. haha~
wo yao hui dao zhi ji shen ti li!!

another day..

2006-06-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

*yawns!! i just got home. i`ve decided to use some proper english in my blog. since my english isn`t that good too.

After school, went home and bathe and prepare to meet up with shaun, aaron, jia wei and also val they all. thought everyone was going MOS at 1st. but then i realised that i made a mistake! aww*.. never mind.. in the end, aaron went back home, and we (jiawei and me) went to MOS to find val and the rest. We actually waited for more then 2 hours for shaun! but in the end, i received an sms. Saying that shaun can`t go out due to what his mother had asked him to do. So, jiawei and i decided to meet up with jayven ourselves.

We waited and waited while chit-chatting. We chat about nearly every single thing. I was bored and turned on my "boredom" mode. haha.

After waiting for.. i forgot how long.. finally saw someone who looks fimilar. well, it`s the 1st time we`re meeting up. and best of all, no one knows what to do! soon, i had what i bear for so long. showed jiawei the cig-butt-cutter trick and then.. xD
well, i felt guilty and felt like i`m very bad when i hold onto it in front of them. Like, jiawei is an anti-smoker, and so, i didn`t know where to blow at. 1st time felt so guilty. lol. i`m the youngest among them. haha. in front of them , don`t know how to even hold my cig. lol!

After awhile jiawei met up with someone else for dinner, leaving the both of us alone. we didn`t know what to do to ease our boredom actually. until i came up with all those ideas that normal people won`t think of. haha.
i took out my file. with my foolscap paper. then wanted to try thinking of a new name for val. haha! but in the end i ended up drawing. i drew "TIAN SHI" wor! lol.
it`s errm*.. a pile of shiit in the clouds. haha! 'tian shi= tian shang yi dui shi'.. and so.. when i wanted to write "tian shi" as in, "shi= shit". but i dunno how to write "shi"! omg lah!
then jayven wrote "mi....." "tian...." den i remembered!! xD
actually i didn`t know "mi tian gong" means "shi" de writing. xD

Big bad wolf is big bad wolf no matter what. -.-
tried to take pics of me. but all came out SO UGLY! well, i `m ugly but then also no need to take candid pics? because i know it myself that it will look extremely UGLY! xD
Somemore.. not only face.. xD shy guy huh? when i tried to take pic of her right in her face, she was like, moving away here and there.. origami is peanuts to her man! frogs, shirt or tortise, and a flying heart? lol. 1st time see the heart can fly. but it was nice. i want to figue out how to fold it SOON! lol.
and because of the origami thingie, we tore and tore paper. tmr morning poor aunty will have to sweep the floor like hell! xD poor thing.. and i don`t know why some people just love to blow wind. blow till every peice of paper fall onto the floor. And then i took 2 side view pics of her :) i think they looked nice wor! all thanks to my superb skills! xD
as i say, everyone, no matter guy or girl, will always have a 'shuai' and 'pretty' look. depending on which angle is used for photo taking. Not all angle is suitable for all people. :) i just love taking pictures of everyone! lol.

And ya, we both keep eating sweets. in the end when i came home, i felt that.. i was having a stomach ache! xD
and then was her turn! haha!

Well, we exchanged our ez link to take a look. I didn`t want to because i think i look real funnily ugly! but we did in the end.. she took my hp T.T
well, hers was... cute.. haha! see le feel like pinching her face kinda little girl look :) pri6 de pic if i wasn`t wrong?
and, i didn`t know how to read her name! omg?
somehow i remember only 1st 2 words. xD and i didn`t know how to pronounce her name though. And, til now, she still didn`t tell me yet!
i`m not going to wear skirt and br* next time. i feel so weird :( saddening passive. hmms..

-neng bu neng gou zhai shuo yi ci, ni hai ai wo. neng bu neng gou zhai yi ci yong you, shu yu wo men de tian kong-

i don`t know what song is this but i liked it.
well, tiring but fun day. Sad day yet happy too.
Am not going to say why why why.
Pon tan school tmr. monday`s holiday! shaun updated me.
ANYONE WANTS TO GO BOWLING ON FRIDAY?! means, tmr? xD
mother tongue O lvl oral? lol.
we`ll see what shaun says ya?
anyway.. I POK LE LAH! we`ll see bout it tmr! lalala~

-illfuckoffandgotosleep-

good luck for exams everyone. takkare.

it`s 26th..

2006-06-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Today is the 26th le.. i hoped for us to be back together by this day de..
looks like not much chance le bah? nvm..
i know u`re looking forward for yr life.. and i shld be doing the same..
but i just can`t bah.. i know i`m irritating sometimes.. not only u bah.. i irritated alot of other ppl too.. i just don`t get what had happened to me..
i feel like crying.. feel like cutting.. feel like breaking down too..
i`m not like last time now.. i don`t dare to do anything..
cut oso cut at places where no one can see.. i was serious when i told u u cld come and cut me if u wan.. cos i know i dun dare..
ppl who dunno me will think i am toopid, keep on thinking bout negative things.. but do they really know what i need?!
i irritate ppl cos i know i`ve already xi guan u* with me.. but since i cannot depend on u now, i shall find someone to irritate.. i found it.. but just i happen to send him wrong info to his mind.. i think i 'made' him fall for me.. well.. yes.. someone* wld say it`s not fair for him* blah blah blah..
what is fair den?

i oso dunno what i want.. xi guan see sms coming in whenever i open my eyes.. 1st thing in the morning.. 6.20am sharp.. xi guan see u sms me "wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up" blah blah.. still got alot lah.. i wan someone to replace all yr sms.. replace the place for u in my heart.. but isit THAT simple?! i dun wanna make another person suffer le.. me myself already had enough of myself.. bugging ppl to entertain me when i`m bored.. accompany me tok on fone till early morning..

yes, i`m scared.. i dun like to hear other party on fone not toking or no ans me.. not cos i scare they fell asleep or anything.. cos.. i do not have the chance to hear u again.. i dun wanna be listening to a fone where no one speaks anymore..

msn with u* now.. why keep toking bout them in front of me man.. though i tok to them alot but oso no means anything ma.. u say jack nvm.. wad has it gonna do with the other idert? xD she`s innocent de..

anyway.. i`m bored again bah? thinking bout soo soo many things now.. past, present, future.. wad am i gonna do?!! i`m changing into a total irritating and annoying IDIOT! haiis..

how i wish to go somewhere no one can find me.. no one.. NO ONE!

dun wan blog le.. takkare ppl..

getting sick..

2006-06-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

Hmms.. i`m kind of geting sick of myself..
Somehow, me and u* attracted the wrong group of ppl eh?
i won`t go pl de.. and i think u* oso won`t go pb de..
so.. yah.. haha..

hmms.. had been talking alor on the phone lately. with an old old man.
ask him remind me about "devil beside u" he forgot! though he told me he will forget de la..
but den.. even my mother also forgot to call me watch.. best thing is, she was watching it!! xD

i was 15 mins late for the show! grrr.. my he jun xiang!! :(
i also wan a devil leh! so shuai de devil.. haha! jkjk.. nah! dun wan devil.. i wan..
i wan.. i oso dunno wad i wan leh! i wan someone who got TOO MUCH TIME like the lao gong gong liddat one.. yah! den can pei me chat/ sms/ study or wadever.. den no need lao gong gong pei me le.. hmms.. not i dun wan him ahh! is he later not enough sleep =.=

hmms.. i ate breakfast wor! long time nv wake up eat breakfast le wor. hmms.. drunk soya milk in the morning.. den still got sushi in sch during recess and i ate 2 mouth of the.. dunno wad thing.. sticky sticky de rice with chicken or aomething.. BLEHH!! eat le feel like vomitting.. very full.. cos of medication? lols.. hmms..

and i`m back again.. at the back of the classroom AGAIN! i know i taller den others.. but teacher no need treat me so nice de bah? sit down there i dun mind de.. but den can hear the next class de teacher teaching oso lorr!! feel like shutting the next door teacher up! so noisy! i think.. was rahgesh xD

i got back my result slip today le. so nice lorr! 8.9.9.8.8.9.8 something liddat.. AH YAH! zhong er yan zhi only got 8 and 9 lah! err.. how am i gonna let my mom sign man.. i nv study oso nv take so GOOD de result be4 leh! wah lao~ it`s cos my class test i sleep.. some didn`t even go.. den nv add in.. xD so all gone.. LOL! liddat o lvl oso no need le lah..

hmms.. i got another chance to drop a sub.. my POA no good.. but i die die dun wan drop anything!! cos.. i need 1 humanities.. poa lorr.. den need 1 science.. F&N lorr.. chem and physics sure fail no need see. xD SOMEONE call me out phyco me study now pls!! i`ve gotta read more newspaper le lorr.. eng oso bad bad.. chi oso hopeless liao.. maths fail le.. sci no need see.. F&N die oso.. humanities worst! nv passed. HAIS! as i said.. i gave up.. my mom too..

she ask me after i took o lvls.. no need think of being at home all day long.. "go find yrself a job and den i no need give u money spend le! if u`re thinking of slacking, den move out..!"

this kinda mom very good?! o.O i WILL find a job to keep myself alive! somehow.. my maths no good now le.. but can teach lower sec de lorr!! my sec 2 sci at least got 82 ah! maths i practice till i got "zhi bi zhen" when i`m sec 2 that year.. soo soo stressful.. my tuition teacher cum cousin made me do like.. 200 simultanious equations.. so i can make it for lower sec maths de lorr! GRR! if not.. den go take private exam when i`m ready to study lah. have been in holiday mood since like.. sec 1 after that MS KHNG!! idert!! hmms..

LALALA!! i dunno le la..
jayven de gerger very notti ahh!! need some wacking liao!! eat milo powder xD stained the sofa and bed too? haha!! poor jayven gotta wash everything ehh? lols.. as i say, feed something else lah! keep all the "dangerous" things up high high! so she cant reach. haha. tomatoes!! lols.. i suggest this cos i thought of sportty! lols.. wo shi sportty de nai ma wor!! lols.. hmms, long time nv see him le.. next time feed him 'king`s mochi!!' my fav! hehes!! anyway.. yah! dogs so cute and cuddly~ i feel like hugging sportty now.. i missed him lorr! xD

YEEKUANNNN!!~ we visit jon`s house soon okokok!? i wan sporrtttyyy!! muahaha~ xD see if he still likes to chew on my hand! lols.. i`ll bring along some bones and buscuits for sportty de la! kekes!!
GER GER wan mum mum ma?!! aww too bad!! only sportty have!! who ask u notti anyhow eat!! haha..

kayys la.. nth to say le.. hope everyone ard me smiles.. like.. ah.. especially val wor!! hmms.. anything can tok to me de la lols.. i`m always free de.. as u know.. ^^
wan suicide can come find me.. i let u kill me.. haha.. jk..

CJWDDBT-LAjiaohuiRONGyuyuanMEI

haiis..

2006-06-23T06:08:00.000-07:00

like.. long time nv blog le ehh? hmms.. had been toking on the phone too much.. too tired to blog.. almost everyday slept at 6++ 7++ am. xD dunno i can hang on how long liddat.

ytd night forgotten to eat medicine. only popped 2 panadol for my "xiao hong".. made me soo painful ytd. haiis..

suay! everytime go PS everytime xiao hong come ka jiao. xD lucky i got put ah! xD but den no extra de.. bo biian.. still gotta buy.. xD wasted my $$ buying panadols..

ytd went k box with Al, val and yk.. i overslept! lols.. ps ah ppl! dun mean it de.. that night happen too many thing le.. kept on thinking bout it.. haiis..

after that went paragon see jack lorr.. val de idea xD not mine.. lol.. for fun de bah.. no where to go ma.. dun wu hui ahh..

hmms.. den after that chat on phone.. ke lian de decent b.. bei wo wu ran chen da se muo liao! xD jk.. haiis.. anyway mux thank this person ahh.. pei me sms craps and tok on phone.. although tok on phone de topic also craps la.. xD very entertaining le bah..
dunno why ytd felt soo moody.. at first i was feeling all alone.. sitting in front of the comp den dun feel like doing anything.. so bored.. and irritated by dunno wad thingiess. den dunno which idert called me wan me chat on phone.. he got scolded.. xD
kinda.. feel sorry ahh.. i mean.. i rather spend my time with girl toking on phone den HIM! cheh!

THAT PERSON oso quite kiam pa one.. xD too bad she`s too far away to be reached.. haha! msged her, said good nite.. ask her careful of bed bugs blah blah blah.. den she say my bed den got bed bugs ahh! den like.. when i got home.. i lay down on my bed for awhile cod tired mahh.. den dunno wadda hell happen..
RIGHT AFTER i bathe.. came out of the toilet.. went back onto my bed to lay down and make phone call, I FELT ITCHY! den got rashes le.. isit bed bugs? or juz.. rashes?! xD suai zhui ba!

hmms.. well.. she`s cute! short short de.. xD like val, me and al wonders.. how is it like to kiss someone 1 head + shorter den u? xD for al is, how is it like to kiss someone 1 head taller den u lorr. HAHA~ AL better grow taller ahh! later gf dun wan u! lol..

going to m`sia soon le.. still got about 5 hrs den going outta the house le.. taking my dad's car.. going to borrow all my techno CDs.. den. yaah.. to make sure he dun sleep. xD
dunno wan bring jacket or not.. june not that cold de right? xD

yupps.. who wan prezzies?! haha.. i`ll try to get lah ya? den.. hopefully, i see the nike jersey i wanted to buy for someone that time.. cost 198rm isit? or isit 200++.. lol! i oso dunno whyyy so ex la.. but the someone will look so ham-some wearing that! lols.. but den.. see see nia la.. not planning to buy it le.. =)

wad can i buy for u all leh... *think think* hmms..
chewing gums or bubble gums ah?! sian... or key chains is it?! it`s jux a neighbouring country man.. haha.. i see wad i can buy lah! hopefully can drop by "muo gu yuan"- mushroom garden for lunch tmr afternoon.. kekes.. *yummy!*

toot & val>> i`ll drop by genting de b.u.m city or whereever and tell u where got nice nice de clothes suit u de. =) speacial yi dian! believe my taste man!~ i like to see shuai girls and shui ges.. so i know HOW TO DRESS UP A GIRL LIKE GUY!no la.. i meant what to where or what goes with what den nice.. =) hahaha.. make it more shuai and speacial =) den end of year go shopping in malaysia k!?! =) miss ya!

yk mei>> takkare of yrself and..... yah.. haha.. u know what i wanna sae le horr? =) i will buy things back for u de la.. dun worry. lols.. miss ya!!

jack>> takkare dun smoke too much lorr..

al>> U SING GREAT! muahaha! miss ya too~ =)

si toot^kia..

2006-06-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

shoot dao wo biian bian.. bwg. grrrr...

like long time nv blog le ooh.. hmms.. had been spending my time crappin on fone and in irc.. so bored lately.. fish fish fish oso.. lols.. meant.. OZ.. xD

kiam and ji-leng playing oso.. jack and jayven... hmms.. pei me go in see see few mins nia.. XP
haiis yo yoooo~ i`m shooo bored.. hmms..

ah val brought me the 'mr.bean' de dunno wad thingiee.. TUNA FLAVOUR! omg.. think le wanna pukee ahh! but den.. bo biian.. nv eat anything.. xD den i eat lorr.. but den.. quite nice lah LOL!! taste like.. tuna sandwich? xD hmms.. yah..

i dunno what i mux do.. i`m not that nice person bah? why why why!! haiis.. everything is so fucked up now.. so so irritating.. things keep poping up in my mind.. all negative thingiees.. dun wanna think.. dun feel like thinking..

dun wait for me.. not worth it.. really not worth it.. i feel guilty when u cry.. i dun wanna see u cry.. but den it`s like.. as a friend lorr.. xD HAIIS!! wo bu zhi dao le lah..

haiis..

2006-06-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

I dunno what the hell has gotten into me.. i kept thinking of the past.. haiis.. i jux sent u am sms.. asked if u missed me.. u asked me why i always send this kinda sms? cos.. i cannot xi guan dun send u these kinda sms lorr.. understand? haiis..

well.. yah.. alot of things happened.. too much things le.. didn`t expect yk to ask me give up too.. yes i know it`s very long since u gave up on me le.. and yah.. very long since we ended.. but den there`s always a chance bah? hmms.. mayb yes.. mayb no.. thats wad u told me.. :(

errms.. ah ya.. i only know horr.. thought not together lahh.. hope u can lemme treat u like.. yah.. like last time lorr.. hmms..

-plan change bah..-

i saw yr nick.. ermms.. think thats not me bah? hmms.. i dunno.. if it was.. na gai duo hao.. anyway.. now that u know wad u wan le.. good =) happie for u bah.. haiis.. hmms. think i blog till here le..

hmms..

2006-06-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

horoscope for today: Whoever you've been thinking about has been thinking about you too. Call them.
In detail : Your mind is taking on some psychic powers! The person you've been so often (and so ardently) thinking about has been picking up on your vibes -- and is thinking about you too. Now isn't the right time to move forward with this relationship, but take note of their change in attitude toward you. There may be some conspicuous avoidance on their part -- could they be shy? Go slowly with this, and make it clear that you just want to get to know them a little better -- for now.

Hmms.. i`ve been thinking bout u* lorr.. really thinking bout me too ma? lols.. i dun dare call u* la.. i know u`re with yr friends.. like every other day.. u have no time for me. sobz..

Yeah.. i agree bah.. though i am waiting for u*.. but this is not the day to get into r/s with u* yet.. i know that u still have a lot of probs borthering u*.. hmms.. change of attitude.. i hope for a change of BETTER one lorr. lols. yeah.. shy.. :)

Hmms.. i slept only at 8+ am this morning.. omg. yes. i`m having a pair of panda eyes on now. lol. ytd u* were toking to someone else.. i called u in GB. but i die die oso nv ans me.. i say i go call my ai ren but den like.. nv lorr. haha. cos hands busy playing GB. dun wanna disturb u.. cos like.. jealous.. haha! but den.. yah.. lazy to call other ppl.. though i`m suppose to call someone.. Jack..

HAISS!! zhen shi fan nao ah.. why the one i love dun love me.. but the one i NEVER expect to love me likes me leh!!? i though we were jux like.. friends lorr.. cos he has so so much common with u* lorr. hais yo yoooo~ and the STUPID thing is.. i thought u really 'pb' leh. but u end up like.. jk jk nia.. wadda hell.
haiis.. complicating lah.. i dun wanna try replacing others jux cos i get nth for loving him* so so hard.. mayb, yes.. i tried le.. no use.. i dun wanna feel guilty again.. i say le lah.. my heart now got no one else and will not have anyone even got space for that bah.. not i dun wan go with u .. is like.. all of a sudden tell me all these.. all of a sudden each of our life got this 2 ppl.. mayb lao tian ye trying to test us bah.. i dunno if u wld accept anyone.. but atleast i know that u had given me chances be4.. is me who took it for granted. i`m sorry.

As i say.. i`ll leave everything to u*.. i dunno wad the outcome will be.. i dun wanna give it a guess too.. u decided yr life.. but pls.. make the right choice.. if only we have more time to be together.. :\

Gan qing shi ke yi pei yang de.. to -u know who- (if u r reading my blog).. this things.. the things that u`ve told me.. yr godbro had already said them.. u can ask him wad i did.. i ignored everything.. if so easy pei yang.. den the more i shall wait for my him* bah.. i will not be with someone jux to replace or forget or pei yang gan qing anymore.. i know -u know who- will understand.. u r too much like my him* le.. it`s a good thing.. cos i really miss him* but he has no time for me.. thx for being there the whole night ytd.. i really feel like crying when u say "xiang ku jiu ku chu lai bah" but i can`t.. crying is only a childish act to "reduce stress" bah.. hmms.. but i do think that.. the more i cry.. the more the stress wld be there..

so.. yah.. my life is so mixed up.. i cld only sleep with the jacket there. haiis.. so cold.. so soo cold..

-u know who- >> yes.. u and him* really ALOT of common de.. nose allergy thinggie.. joke joke attitude.. hmms.. lols.. yes.. him* and yr ex oso ALOT in common horr? hahas.. leg thinggie. LOL~ shhh.. dun reveal their secrets here bah.. anyway.. yah.. my final conclution is.. u`re like him when i 1st know him*.. lol.. s0 easy high de horr? oopsiee!~ lols.. xD dance~ lalala..
dun xi huan wo.. dui ni mei hao chu de.. wo bu xiang zhai you ge ren ku ku deng dai, ying wei wo ye zhai ku ku de deng dai ling yi ge ren le..

toot^kia>> i thought u wanted to call us ytd!! we waited soo long lorr! xD dou shi ni de chuo laaaaa~ hai wo men liang ge ren pai seh dao yao si.. lols.. suddenly xiang dao ni de new nick.. cum gong kia. HAHA!! =X

yeekuan>> wo ai de ni ya wo ai de ni.. ni zhai na li ya zhai na li? LOL~ xD

U*>> pls takkare of urself.. i see u liddat i very xing ku.. i noe alot of things happened.. jia you ooh~.. rem, sat night.. be4 9pm mux reach my hse!! xD thats if u wan la~

peng you men~ duo duo bao zhong!! ai si ni men le~

haiis.. wo hen shang xin..

2006-06-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

i am sad.. can anione tell me wad to do?
my friend is cutting herself cos she love someone till very xin ku.
that someone is my ex.. but i cannot get over him yet..
i`m waiting for my ex.. still waiting..
but.. feelings faded le.. he loves me no more.. i understand..
but i told myself.. i will wait for the day feelings come back..
but.. think very hard bah.. with my damm temper and irritating ways of trying to make others laugh.. i feel like a jerk..
i know.. many ppl will say i am stupid.. but dats wad i wanna do..

i know.. love is selfish.. it is suppose to be.. but wad if u already treat the friend like a sister to u.. worry if she will fall sick and all that stuff.. to me.. if my sisters need anything.. things which i have.. they need.. i can give them if i can lorr.. but now?
How am i suppose to give her the person i love? the person i am waiting for..
i won`t hate that friend.. cos she did nothing.. she fell in love with the same person i did.. thats all..

Break le.. u* got freedom to go and love whoever u wan.. but make sure.. it`s the one u really love.. and really loves u.. i know my friend loves u.. u wld not say that she loves u more den i do.. jux dat mayb we love the same person a diff way.. she spends more time with him* den i do.. they have much interest in common.. they hang out everyday.. so it`s like.. a everyday thing for them bah..

FRIEND- think about this.. if u mistook companionship for love, the outcome will jux b like mine.. guilt.. if u can tell me str8 in my face that "yes, i love him* and i can love him* more den u do.." den i`ll leave u 2 alone.. i will.. cos i know.. someone love him.. more den i do.. will cherish him more den me.. will give him happiness and fun and laughter.. will give him wad he wans.. mayb even things i`ve fail to provide him with.. if thats the case.. he will b happier.. not so much stress more le bah.. that wld b better for u and her.. :)

I still love u* alot.. i will still wait.. will cling onto u till the day u do not want me to bug u anymore.. i wld still pray for ur happiness..

Although i`m not christian, i believe, anything.. i mean.. god, angels.. wadever.. will hear wad i prayed.. and help me.. i prayed to them.. to xchange my happiee with ur sad.. i will live tru it.. mayb with tears.. alone.. hurts and pains.. but i will live on with it.. till the day we both can b happie.. together..

We do not always have time to b together alone.. cos u have other things to do.. friends.. work.. alot of things bah.. u`re always busy.. did u ever missed me when u were with them? did u ever missed me when i didn`t sms u? i do.. although u always dun sms me.. but i miss u.. when i`m busy.. with anything.. i keep wondering wad u doing.. had lunch or not.. wad u eat.. wad time sleep ytd.. later wake up become panda.. blah blah.. alot.. hmms.. i tried to keep every single thing of urs and mine in my diary.. pic.. letters.. all from last time..

like jayven said.. no point hoping for someone to b in yr life.. but thats wad i wan.. to hope for u.. wad i hope for.. now, is that u smile.. trouble free.. dun too stressed up.. cherish and to b cherished.. love and to b loved.. happiness.. i anything le..

if there is anything i cld do for u, tell me.. i`ll make sure i get it done somehow.. someday.. i told my friend today.. "we`re jux friends.. i got ppl i like le lorr! waiting is tiring.. fang xin bah.."
after i said that.. i wonder.. if she will tell u she love u.. and that she really do.. i wan u to know that she is dere.. she loves u..

don cos of me dun dare to love again..

don worry.. i`m fine.. actually.. all i expect from u now.. is clear le bah.. to b smiling.. if u love me.. but dun wanna b with me.. dunno wad reason.. atleast, let me know that u love me.. i want yr hugs and kisses.. i missed them.. :( badly..
if feelings for me had gone to other ppl.. like i asked if u like someone.. yr ans was "its for me to guess and for me to know.." so i take that as u have someone in mind.. if feelings gone to that person le.. i understand de.. i know de..

yes bah.. type all these in blog later pressure u again.. but, how am i going to express my feelings out? when i am bored.. down.. nothing to do.. no one there for me.. i can only turn to blogs and my diaries.. my hp.. full of my feelings.. jux dat u nv seen it.. not in blogs or my diary.. no one.. other den me knows..

if u`re tired no matter due to wad reason.. mayb u love someone like i love u.. hmms.. yah.. come to me bah.. i lend u shoulder.. i`ll be there.. no matter for wad la.. my hp no. will nv change.. cos i finally got a name for my no. in yr hp..

say le so much.. hope u know that i see u so xin ku now.. guilt or sad or confuse or wad i dunno.. i know u dun like ppl guess de.. see u liddat i very heart pain.. rem when u showed me yr blue black.. i didn`t know why i acted that way.. haiis.. like be4.. i know i`m going overseas le.. means cannot contact u for days.. to u, now is nothing le.. to me.. is alot lol.. i cried like a baby.. like be4.. but this time.. no one is going to call me "sha gua" and wipe tears away anymore. :) tissue bah.. i have.. hmms..

think dats all le.. yk, remember wad i tell u horr.. help me k. thx..

-bennuren-
xi wang ni xing fu..
ai he bei ai..

WHY!!

2006-06-04T06:42:00.000-07:00

Why do ppl think dat a r/s will affect studies? one of my friend says, cos they dunno wad is needed in a r/s.
i think so too.. companionship.. encouragenent.. everything to me.. but.. haiis. lols.
why!? all i wan is a steady r/s.. go out no need spend too much.. no need everyday.. cannot go library or somewhere study even have exam on? why only think that "ohh.. no time de.. later she/he wan go here and there den won study de.. waste time.. later i fail how?! wads more important?"
i think it`s bullshiit. hahas.. 2 ppl together mean fun fun fun? no..
mayb it`s cos.. my other 1/2 doesn`t have confidence in me.. i too wanna pass my o lvls. why dun u understand!! xD nvm nvm.. understood.. haiis.. i`ll wait.. i know dats a rival.. blah blah..
imagine.. someone i trusted bcame friend with the one i think is rival(THINK IS ONLY HORR).. lied to me that she was with friends but dun tell me she was with them..
i thot that my trusted one din know her*.. so going to meet them ytd night isn`t gonna be much of a prob.. i thot my trusted one know why i dun wanna b too close with ppl who is close with the one i love but doesn`t love me.. i thot she know.. :)

Now i know that there are alot of things i dunno le.. alot alot.. all i wan is to b with u.. i see u stress i oso.. and, my dear TRUSTED ONE.. tell the girl, if she realli like the one i love, say it out. not i dun wan b friend with her.. i oso duno wad i`m thinking.. but ask her rem to cherish, treasure and dun make her angry.. yah.. crap bah.. den.. hmms.. accompany her play bball lorr.. study blah blah blah.. make her feel needed.. :)

i`m already in no place to say le lah.. but den.. yah.. i wan "jiao dai" de things all here le bah.. dun b childish like i did.. dun expect him to keep smsing u or call u all day like other ppl.. dun keep bugging him.. let him have his time to do his own things.. and be understanding.. dun be like me.. i took the wrong step and now.. "zhuo you mao dun"

Dun dare to even hug him anymore.. dun dare to speak bout our past.. dun dare to remind him bout anything.. and so, i understand y he deleted me from his hp contacts.. :) i will try to get u* back to me but it`s up to u to believe and gimme the chance to prove that our r/s will NOT b like be4.. a more stable and mature and understanding one.. and it will not affet our studies de.. till feelings come back, hopefully faster be4 u like someone else.. i`ll wait..

but i really sae till u have ppl in mind.. i wanna know who.. :( can i? as a friend or as a stranger to u :'(

-*[[mayiloveuu*?]]*- dunch leave me pls..

hmms..

2006-06-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

HAPPIEE BIRTHDAY EDWIN~

hmms.. todae, chat with cousins bout a lot of things.. and i know dat i oso missed alot of things.. haha.. all of them grow up le.. cheng, dada, taco, and niu nai.. haiis.. only me haven grow up.. still so childish bah.. haha.. they grow up as in.. relationship lorr.. they know how to handle le bahs.. even if he gotta break up with her on v.day, he stood up right telling us that it`s not her fault.. haiis..

he had promised her not to cry in front of her.. he didn`t.. he cried in front of us.. well.. not purposly lahh.. but i saw his tears.. seriously, why dun we cherish our loved ones? and den regret it after dat? everyone had experience liddat.. but who will know the ans?? hmmms...

As for dada, hmms.. DADA BIIAN SHUAI LE WOR~ SHUAI GE NEHH~ lols.. even if he not shuai until ppl will go.. "WHOA~~ SEE!! SEE!! SHUAI GEE~~~" but den.. atleast he made me say he bian shuai ge liiao.. lols.. hmms.. jia you wor.. long time nv see u le. take pic oso dun wan take.. excuse for not taking is cos u ugly =.= diiaoo~ kiam pa..

hmms.. taco.. got gf le.. lols.. mux cherish ahh.. 1/2 year le.. dun be like me.. haiis.. jia you for O lvls too~ dun end up hopeless and helpless like me. LOL~ wan study can always gimme a call.. although i not good lorr. hahaha~ got notes mux fen xiang!!

nai niu! mature a bit lahh~ lol.. grown up le.. dun worry man.. yr sch no one crush on u nvm.. outside will have de.. u r a good guy.. trust me.. hahas.

lols.. they are more like pals to me.. i know them well.. so sometimes.. xD i dunno how to put it..
hais.. ppl who dunno how to cherish them.. haiis~ nth to say.. hou hui ye tai chi le..

bout myself lehh.. though in our conversation got alot of things i say they agree de.. but i still think i only 1 haven grow up. haiis.. still wanting them to make me roll on floor.. still wanting them to tease me like small kid bah? LOL hmms.. missed the times back then bah.. everyone so crappy.. so annoying xD lol.. so funneh oso. every weekend.. 288 bball court.. haha.. den taco house.. all the energy music.. k one.. 5566.. lols.. we were the closest wor~~

but den.. now.. i was dragged down alot le.. go out with friends more le.. tok on fone.. online play maple.. chat.. blahh.. den haiis. shu yuan liiao.. haha~ anyway.. you shi zhao wo!! mei shi ye ke yi zhao wo!! lol.

same goes to all my friends bah.. sin ying steady pom pipi de.. jux that sometimes thing do pop out and den ruin everything.. lols..

for yiyang lehh.. hmms.. i dunno wadda say lah.. but.. i wan to go back to the time we cannot seperate.. like glue liddat~ lols.. i went to read yr blog the other day.. the older ones.. april2005 de.. read everything.. from that time de till now de.. and i realised it`s my fault.. my mistake actually.. now i wan 'mi bu' everything.. but dun have chance le.. hope u can fall for me again.. i cannot get over u lorr.. cousins all ask me.. "den u can get over him not?" 1 or 2 say "can de lah~ not 1st stead wad!!" the others listen..

"no.. cannot.. *tear dropped* haiis.. *whipps* i oso dunno wad to do.."

"ah yah.. cry oso no use.. he oso dunno u crying.. find someone who know how to love u"

"if that easy to get over i will.. if steading with some1 who loves me deeply helps i will.. i tried liiao.. cannot help.. haiis~"

den i started to sing "till i get over u".. by christina mailian i think.. den start to tear a bit.. but den.. taco made fun of it den make us laff like hell~ hahaha.. taco forever happiee de.. but sometimes i wonder if he stress de.. even if he does, he uses a funny and joking manner to tell us.. :) ni zhen haoo..

wo hen xing fu.. although the one i love dun love me le.. but he did not forbid me from loving him.. hmms.. try to woo back bah? lols.. change myself.. to the perfect one for him.. haiis..
i have cousins to make me burst into laffter.. got god mama and god papa to encourage me actually.. my godpapa made me know how important and wad points i have.. he made me moved on.. :) bout my cutting and not going home thing.. he understands them well..

"yr parents doesn`t know how to say sorry.. that is their mistake and it`s their problem.. dun care bout them cos i believe u have yr problems too?"

"i feel that they dun love me.."

"if they don love u still got other ppl.. like me and yr godmama.. if we dun love u i wun b toking to u here.. if yihong 1/2 like u, so independent good le.. haiis.. u have yr own good points.. u have to let them know it.. they r busy.. they see u only at home.. so they dunno how good u r compared to other ppl's children.."

see~ my godpapa nice right? :) next time he old le i dun mind taking care of him and my god mama~ :) but i know my godbro and sis will de~ lols.

hmms.. hao bah.. wo hui rang ni kan dao wo biian le.. i realliee did.. :) hope to spend more time with u.. and oso my cousin.. den yah.. :) lols.

we will b togethere de..

wash u off with my tears..

2006-06-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

Yes.. i`m gonna cry for many many days..
mayb carve a lil'bit..
mayb torture myself a lil'bit..
den get over it..
hmms.. yupp.. i mean it..
u can leave wadever is not necessary for u and go off free..
every pieces of memories..
i`ll take them with me.. i wun remind it to u again..
dun cos of me dun dare love other ppl again..
though i might hate that someone.. but i`ll get over it.. dunno when but i will..

i know u have been enjoying the companionship ur friend or someone else had given u..
but.. as a frien or not.. have u thought of where i am?
for all the days, believe it or not.. when i`m alone.. i have been trying to regard u as my frien..
but i ended up crying pitifully everytime..
even now i still am.. i have the anger in me..
i dunno how to cure it.. carve will help?
i will nv cut deeply.. yes.. i ham ji bah..

nvm bout it le.. i will jux take everything alone bah..
i know u fall for ppl easily.. i know u will love her alot de..
pls.. whoever it is.. make sure she cherish u..

someppl might think i post all these to grab ur attention..
i dunno if i am doing it.. if this is wad i have to do to make u look into my eyes again i will..
but i dun think this is all i have to do..
u might fall for someone easily but i know for u to fall for someone again is very diff..
so i dare not try..
haha.. i`ll keep our things low..
dun wan show other ppl that u have some irritating childish freak to bug u bah?
hmms.. won`t de..

i`ll do what u want me to do. everything.. even if now u`re the one who wanna cut my wirst.. i`ll let u do it.. hmms..

no matter wad.. everytime i sign in my msn.. i see yr last time de msn.. haha.. so sweet back then.. in my memories le.. haha..
can see it whenever i want to.. glad enough..

nvm.. everything i bring with me.. no matter i`ll b alive or dead.. wo hui ba quan bu de hui yi dai zhou de.. :) fang xin..

i added yr testi.. asked u wait.. i delete le.. i delete our pic oso.. haha. dun make ppl wu hui lahh.. liddat everyone know me liiao.. the good for nth childish irritating freak!! lols.

yah.. lately very hard to understand me? i oso dun understand myself.. cos i lai ang bah? lols.. excuses haiis.. nvm.. mayb yr counsellor only dun wan see u sad and stressed up or smth.. yah u are right.. after i choose to b yr frien, cos i wanna try my luck again bah.. cos u told me feelings did came back!! but i got rid of it again.. :'( haiis. nvm nvm.. so, yah i wanted to b yr frien.. willing to take the stress and pain to become yr frien.. but all u replied wad "den dun be." LOL~ so painful lehh.. shuan le bah.. haiis.. haha.. listening to jia gei wo.. and thinking of 220406. 0822pm. my happiest moment after every quarrels.. didn`t expect yr feelings to fade dao wan liao.. 0.00% left of feelings for me.. i really dunno u dun love me le.. thats y u reject me everytime.. that is oso the thing i was trying hard to find out after asking u all the irritating questionns.. haha.. finally u told me the ans..

although.. yah.. hurt is comfirmed.. but atleast i know wad i do oso no use le? is me again..
that time u love me a lot.. i dunno how to cherish.. my fot.. now again.. u wanna b my frien.. giving me a chance to prove to u dat i did change better but u see the wrong me.. prove to u that i did a lot to get u back.. prove to u a lot of things.. but too late again.. when i regret le.. say ok.. b yr frien.. u.. haiis. my fot again le..

everything is wo zhi zao de. cannot blame anyone.. ni tai stress le.. wo liao jie.. so, thats y i say leave everything to me..

next time u see me, wan say hi not, wan wave not, wan joke not.. all u decide bah :)
i won cry in front of u or beg u or anything liiao.. cos i tried and i know it`s of no use at all.. haha.. toopid of me. lols.. that time u asked me "den how?" i shld have said "dun wan break "
now oso too late le bah? nvm..today de moon look sharp to me.. got 2 sharp ends.. hmms.... lols..

i will still continue the plan i planned.. but think i will change the subtitles a bit lorr.. haha.. may that b the last thing i do for u bah. :)

thx for yr lastt wordds

2006-05-31T09:35:00.001-07:00

So, i`ve asked.. in front of yk..
i knew the ans but i still wanna try cos i really cannot believe u dun wan me..
like last time.. "wo pei bu shang ni" den break..
few min.. only that few min after dat.. we patched..
why cant we be like be4??!
patch back le still love each other soo soo deep.
mayb not for u.. haha..

okok.. so now.. NO!! i do not wanna be yr frien.. cos i hate u too much.. reallyy.. i hate u..
pls stop sms-ing me.. dun call me oso.. online u oso no need to pm me..
go pm jessica bah.. 'mature best frien' oso can.. 'er-nai' oso can..
can call me childish oso.. i dun carre liiao. HAHA.
no offence, jessica..

and pls horr.. gimme back my diary.. ty ALOT ok..

thx for yr lastt wordds

2006-05-31T09:35:00.000-07:00

there isn`t a need..

2006-05-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah..
"dun think too much.. dun think too much"
who oso know how to say..
all those words are for counselling ppl bah.
dunno why.. mayb i siiao again.. so i wanna sae this..
there isn`t a need to say those words to me..
i dun need them..

hmms.. i dunno wad to blog today.. so mayb got a lor craps comeout.
hmms.. hmms.. hmms..
i dunno lah.. one of my frien tell me, the way i tok to her change le..
dunno true not.
but.. i thought bout a lot of things jux now le lah..
u* dun wanna be involved too much with me in yr life..
i understand.. den keep it this way if u wan. i dun carre le i think.

another thing i wanna sae, do well for o lvls..
i no need to take le.. cos no need to poly liiao..
i know where i`m going le.. somewhere none of u would wanna join me..
hahahas.. dun ask me where now wor..
till then u all will know..

Sorry jenn, don`t mean to tok to u liddat.. too much things happened.. pls understand..

hmms.. yupps.. too much le bah i think..
ohh yah..

YOUR number in my hp now is saved as cowkimoo..
don`t worry..

hmms.. still got what leh?? lols..
hmms.. some ppl juz dun understand me..
infact, no one currently bahs..
haha.. it`s like.. suddenly change a new enviroment..

and val.. ask u come my hse dun wan.. tried to ask u where u r.. tell me ''outside''
like i dunno u outside.. outside so big..
i oso in no place to ask lorr haha..
dun even need to ask who u with le bah??
grr.. sin ying ah sin ying.. no need bullshiiet so much le lorr. haha.
many many things not my prob now liiao..
wa mai chap ka zuei(i dun wan b involved too much)

ahh yah.. dun feel like bloggin le. enuff for now le bah..
for now.. haha. no need tear when i sleep le. yay??
lols. hopefully lorr. i will return u ur ring..
i know become dunno like what liiao..
if u dun wan den lemme know.. i will throw away or something..

nites.

THIS POST IS NOT FOR U* TO READ. GET OUT!!

2006-05-26T09:16:00.002-07:00

About ytd, i`ve got seriously nothing to say about myself.
haha. mayb u didn`t even bother to visit my blog.
but i visited yrs.. hope to see u update someting..
so at least i`ll know how u feel bout me now..
but u didn`t blog. hmms.. nvm..

yah.. u still feel the same bout me bah? haha..
CHILDISH!! UNREASONABLE!! DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND!!
yes.. i am like this.. u don`t sae i ownself oso know..
i`m bad.. very bad.. nono.. rotten liao..
i failed le.. failed terribly..

Mayb it`s cos u mature le lorr. i still childish.
isit cos i wanna keep it sweet and nice like 1st few months? dats y i dun eanna move on?
or is it that u cannot find anymore fun and laughter on me animore?
hmms.. chimalogy questions..

I have tried to woo u back. (omg. so pai seh)
but failed again. LOL~
i tried so so hard.. but ni hai shi mei dong xin..

the next time i ask u ''u still love me not!?"
u can ans me "NO LAH~!!"
str8 ans.. cos i know it too..
mayb i won`t ask le bah..
everytime wanna cheat myself, the ans gonna b different..
but in the end.. SAME! got diff lah.. more hurtful lorr.
hmms.. mayb after ytd thingiies.. i won`t ask u again le..
even if yes, i know ur ans liiao..

haha.. to think of it horr.. one day..
if u were to call me and say "dear ilu*.. muack muack"
i will be like.. crying.. BURST into tears. tears of joy..
but i know it ain`t gonna happen.. so i didn`t put too much effort to ask for it.
but that is wad i`d dream for bah.. i guess..

ytd night.. i smsed u when i was crying .. hard..
can`t really read the words on my hp..
i updated my calander.. so so long..
haiis.. like u care liddat. haha..

In my hp now, yr name..
suddenly, it feels like stranger's hp no. to me..
hmms.. "da- leng dui bu qi.. ke shi wo zhen de zhen de hen bu xi huan ni zhe yang dui wo.."
thats wad i typed.. when i wanted to send u sms..
but den.. i didn`t haha..
da leng? who? lols..
say all these.. u gonna stressed up again.. scold me.. "ni ke yi bu yao yi zhi jiang zhe xie ma?!! hen fan de leh!!"
lols. u scold me too many times le.. i know wad u will say..

hmms.. duno lah duno lah..
mayb u hating me now bah.. see yr nick oso know le..
i dunno what i wanna put in my msn nick to let u know what i wan..
no no wait.. wad do i wan u to know!?

haha.. see? childish bah.. dun even know wad i wan.. like baby liddat. lol.
i`m liddat de lah. mayb dats y a lot of ppl dun like me bahs?
dunno who but i think will have alot of them..

dun say le.. i`ll keep the rest to myself. haiis..
someone takkare of him for me..

-dun make him angry if he not in mood.
-dun ask him why he moody
-dun ask him eat wadever he dun wan
-if he ask u eat u cannot say dun wan.
-promise him de things muz remember to do them ALL.
-he plays bball.. so even if u dunno how.. shuddup and watch
-remm.. give complement..
-dun say his clothes ugly and wadever..
-if he cook something for u.. EAT IT ALL UP~
-if he crazy dat day, siao siao one.. u siao with him lorr..
-take wadever he buy for u..
-keep it safe..
-buy him wad he like sometimes.. he will be happie.. like u will too..
-he dun like ppl late de. lol.

think dats it. anything wanna add i will post de.
xi huan ta de ren kan hao hao le lorr.
zhai jian..

i`m gonna marry in maple.. god bless

THIS POST IS NOT FOR U* TO READ. GET OUT!!

2006-05-26T09:16:00.001-07:00

THIS POST IS NOT FOR U* TO READ. GET OUT!!

2006-05-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

sorry..

2006-05-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

i dunno wadda hell is wrong with me. hais..
wo ming ming jiu hai shi aii ni de.. but duno who i wanna let u go..
that time i was thinking that u will b happier.. free.. not so stressed up..
but den i know u cried.. :'( me too.
i went to stead with lelvin.. cos to forget u and oso, hope to give u up faster bahs.
but den.. more and more trouble came up.. making me tired of living..

hais..

yeah.. i am very hard to understand bahs. but den.. haha. i`ve made the effort to wait for u..
although only a mth now.. but this whole month is damm damm painful for me.. u know that?
in front of u, cannot sad.. try hard not to say anything bout` us..
but when i said something wrong.. something bout us.. u wuld be angry..
i know, u and yr other ex.. one year later den patch back.. blah blah..
i dun wan listen!! i am who i am.. i am me.. myself.. not her.
me and her different..
everyone is different..
i know u`re stressed up cos of me.. but have u think of me??
what did i do for u??

haha..

mayb to u, not that much.. other girls can do much more for me..
or mayb, others have done much more for their steads..
but think bout it..
how did i treat my ex when i break up with them?
look at them and u..
how i treat them..

haha..

bao ying bah..
i played too much..
i didn`t care much bout my ex..
even break le i won`t cry..
asked them to go for other ppl..
hurt them like dolls..
now.. it`s my turn? haha..

wo ren ming le bah..

i oso dunno wad i`ll do.. but i did..
i dunno how long i`m gonna wait..
i won`t wait long.. cos my life isn`t gonna wait for me dat long too.
i dun wan us to be "this way"..

imagine..

u loved someone soo deeply..
den break le..
still crappin`..
still laughing..
still loving her/him..
but den.. u dare not touch her/him..
because u know he/she isn`t urs anymore..
isn`t ONLY yrs..
well.. he/she WAS mine.. but not now anymore.
she/he is free to go out with wadever person..
to hold wadever person`s hands..
to hug wadever person tightly..
to kiss wadever person`s lips..
to be there for the person..
to be with the person..

and saddest.. these are how we were.. were.. suppose to be..

haha.. believe it or not.. i cried hard ytd night..
i was sitting at my balcony.. looking out into the dark..
i thought to myself.. isn`t there anyway i culd keep u.. with me??
wad muz i do??
will buying u wad u lik help?
or will being ignoring u help me??
mayb if i ignore u, or make u ignore me.. u would think bout me a little.

haha.. stupid me..

like, who will think of me lehh?! lol..

now regret, too late le bah i guess..
u can go now.. anywhere u wan.. whoever u wan..
i`ll let u go.. i`m not gonna block u..
cos u have already forgotten wad i`ve wrote to u..
u`ve forgotten wad u have wrote to me.. all the letters..
and the chi words in 'our' maths excerise bk..
u`ve forgotten wad i wrote in my testi to u..
u`ve forgotten wad we`ve said..

at the same time..

u`ve forgotten how u`ve loved me..
forgotten how u used to tease me..
forgotten how u used to call me in the night..
forgotten how u used to buy me things..
forgotten how u used to write letters to me..
forgotten how u used to forget our days and i`ve gotta remind u..
forgotten how u used to call me oink and i`ll go "oink"
forgotten how u used to lemme call u cow and u go "moo"
forgotten how u used to write on my wrist band..
forgotten how u used to mess up my hair..
forgotten how we used to take neos..
forgotten how we used to chat till one of us speak in 'dream language'
forgotten how we used to 'muach muack'
forgotten how i`ve asked u to 'kuai shuo...'
forgotten how i`ve withdrew my hand from yrs..
u`ve forgotten all these..

u`ve carved a deep deep scar onto my heart now..
a deep one.. although it has stopped bleeding..
scars will always be around..
i`ve used our 1st mth neos, yr rings and memories to cover this scar..
but u`ve once again riped them off..
it`s gonna start bleeding once more..

after reading this post.. i think u must have think alot of things..
i do not wish to guess wad u r thinking now..
but i guess, u will have watery eyes..
if not den i`m sorry. i wronged u again..
those eyes.. muz b cos of the stress i`ve given u again..
i wont mind if u shout at me..
i wont mind if u beat me up..
at least.. u viewed my blog..
i`m happie enough..

i wanna let u know..
once i can sleep without thinking of u..
without tearing..
i`ll be yr close close friend..
for now.. i dun wanna b yr friend..
cos i wan more then that..

if u still wanna leave, i can do nth..
leave all memories to me.. wadever i said that is memorable..
or wadever we did dat is memorable..
leave it all to me and go..
if u really wanna go.. go..

FUCKEDUP

2006-05-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

JUST FUCKING READ UP HERE YAH?? SI REN TOU. U THINK BAO QI REALLY STEAD WITH ME ISIT? I DUN EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS LORR!! HAHA. IDERT. PLS LA. DUN WAN ME SAY DUN WAN ME. FORGET BOUT IT LAH.

i think i oso no need to type so much le lorr. dun wan me juz say okok!! SAY LAH!! SAY U DUN WAN ME LORR!! say lorr. understandable de. HAHAHA. i understand everything le now. LALALA. i oso dunno whether i understand the right thing not. JUST.. forget it ok? hahaha. smile and die amile and die smile and die. lol.

U DID THIS TO ME U MADE ME MAD. HAHA

yah u are right.. i hao lian~~ haha!! i wan catch everyone de attendtion!! can or not? KE YI MAH!! hahaha. YAH LA YAH LA!! i flirt. LALALA!! say wadever u wann sae!!

I CRIED SO HARD YTD COS OF U!! EVERYTHING IS SAVED UP IN MY HP!! HAHA!! NOW IT`S OVER ALL OVER. SO I THINK I WILL JUZ FUK OFF AND DIE OFF YAH? HAPPIEE 1 MONTH ANI. FOR BREAKING UP WITH ME OK!! HAPPY HORR!! STAY HAPPIEE OK!! HAHA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

so angry...

2006-05-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

GRR~ now at yeekuan house. wadda hell lorr.
cannot find the movie i wanna watch in 'youtube'
i thought there everything oso have. ppl say even got pron.
but me wasn`t looking for porn ahh!! qi si ren.
ah val tell me what i wan, you tube have. but no lorr!!

hais!! although it`s a lesbian movie. but den it`s damn nice lorr. :)
"fei yue qing hai". 'love me, if u can..."
dats the title lorr. so interesting right.
my 1st time is watched on TV de. but den.. hais. i wanna watch it again lorr.
nice nice nice. rating for the movie is 100/100 lorr.
haha.only left me finding for the movie online liao. hais.
yeekuan, val, ant-eater all sleep liao. left me only.
ME ONLY LEH!! so lonely lorr.lol.
saddening right. hais.

rae ask me patch le hmms..
i dunno ehh. like.. dun wanna cheat his feelings lorr.
cos i know it myself dat i dun love him THAT much lorr. like.. like..
hais.. very hard to sae my feelings out leh. hais.
i know i still love the one i loved. but.. the one i loved dun love me anymore.
sad. yah.

grrr. so sad. but den angry. cos....
i dun need to patch up with eu*.
i juz wanna hear that u still love me. everything is enuff for that.
hais. even if u cheat me, say yes, love me love me.. bt den dun.. oso nvm.
i dun mind. really. cos wad i miss, is ur "i love you".
hahas. we break up not long ago. but den like.. LONG LONG time nv hear le yah?
now even muack muack oso no more wor. hahahaha!!
nth to sae bout u lah. u happie jiu hao lorr. u xin fu jiu hao lorr.
but i only wanna sae..
if one day, someone u love hurt u.. or.. dump u or anything..
i`ll b right here for u lorr. right here....
juz a little tiny winy touch on my hand makes me think alot!! ALOT ALOT!!
"hehe~ he still loves me bah? hmms.. he dun dare sae out only!!~ lol."
dats wad i think.
but when i asked u jux now.. wad i got from u was.. "AH YAH!! dun mean anything. dun think too much."

hais~~sad lehh. sad sad....
wo zhen zhen zhen de hai zai den ni lorr. u this idert.
wanted to change my label? HAHAHA. nth to say lah!~
anyway. yah, u r right. i childish. who will like childish de gf?
who will wan someone dat got mood swing? sensitive and unreasonable?
but.. who will know how HARD it is to change?
very... very xin ku.

HAHA~ now that i know i dun have a very healthy body, i`m going on long term medication le.. hmms. dun wish to stress u up le. leave everything to me bah.
since the road for u is longer. hahaha. :)
i`ll wait till one day my feelings really fade lorr.
or someday when i wanna stop my medication!! HAHAHA.
dun make me give up on myself yah?
everything u say makes me think ALOT.
so everything u do or everything u say.. think properly be4 u say anything.
ur words r important. :'(
zhai jian.

saddening.
``13__ zhai jian.. ai ren..

2006-03-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

Im not sinying ...just anotha person

To sinying:

I just came by to help you but suddenly dun feel like helping you to change
and so i decided to blog inside for you to see instead.
The person that you refer to in your blog, i know that you tried to make that person
smile etc but just not the way that person expected or wanted is not your fault but
is just that you express it the wrong way.
And from my point of view, you are too negative of yourself, as in when people are in
a bad mood you i just don't know how to phrase it or say it.
But if i can will tell you face to face if you ever see this blog and ask me.
well i have nothing more to saym other than this what change is change maybe that person
manage to have feelings for you again maybe not. somethings are just left like that, actually
i seriously don't know what to say anymore..take care than bye...

someone....

My laogongs went camping~

2006-03-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

LOL~ hmms.. Jessica and valerie went camping.. means i`m gonna be lonely for the time being. =X

i am such a bitch! u know wad? i was mapling when my mom came in and shouted, "YING AH!! WAD TIME ALREADY!! GO SLEEP NOW!!... *blah blah*.." and i was like.. "SHOO~"

''___'' i feel so bad after that b`cox she slam the door at me. =\

err.. val`s hams all die le.. puipui ate up xiaoxiao. dunno why. den puipui dun wan eat the sunflower seeds and stuff we gave him. den puipui became very hungry and ate up beebee. den after that no more hamster for puipui to eat.. he died =_=

funneh but sad hoh? ke lian de hamsters.. =X
my house de 2 female.. one of them pregnant i think.. stomach very very big leh. c",)

hmms. i`ve gotta think 2 names now for my hams.. HELP ME THINK~

hope so. =) but den liddat i gotto seperate the 2 females! OMG~ money money money~ anyone has hamster cage? can i borrow for few months? =X lol.

my ah thi(ah pig) needs to exersice! haha. i gave them fruits u noe! they`re like a part of me. =)
cabbage and grapes and apple.. they liked them soo soo much =) i am a very nice zhuren right? *bhb* =X

GUU NII~~ i miss u neh~~ haha.
niunai go camp oso. =X (WHY SO MANY PPL CAMP!!)
so sad =( i miss him so much man.. guu niiI~ haha~
later my boyfriend jealous ah! lols.

I FEEL SO LOVED

SINYINGISSOBITCH_____``13

I KNOW

2006-03-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

I KNOW EVERYTHING!

and i dunno anything too. =X
i dun wish to know anything.. better off being a sha gua bah?
i wanna know de, i dunno. i dun wanna know de.. eu* tell me a lot.
eu* said i childish everytime i tried to make u smile.
i realliee realliiee put in a lot of effort le.. but i always failed. i tried tickling u.
i tried to hit u softly at yr stomach and joke with u.
i tried to remind u of our happiee moments.. but i failed!
i asked u to change yr nick, because i wanted and hoped real hard to see something that has gotta do with us.. juz us. i know i culdn`t get bball outta yr life. i dun wan to. i saw u play. i heard u play. i heard bout how ppl said about yr bball skills.i know u love it.

i know that friends are more important den me. that is y i did not block u from going out with them or hanging out with them.
i know that family is more important den friends. u cannot lose them.
i also know that bball is MUCH MUCH more important then family. mayb it`s the other way round. i dunno...

it`s easy for someone to fall in love with another. but it`s very hard for someone to gain feelings for someone. espeacially after so much fight and misunderstandings.

if everything was to start over again.. i wuld chose not to let u know my feelings for eu*. i rather keep everything to myself den let u suffer with the sensitive and unreasonable me.

i realliee wanted to know.. how important am i to u.. who do u treat me as.. most importantly, i want to know, how culd i change myself to make our relationship better. dont tell me i`m stupid. i know i am.. but this ways good.. good..

i might be angry.. might be sad now.. i dunno.. i want to sae.. i really need u..
she bu de fang qi ni.. is my reason not to be abgry with u.. i feared that once we quarrel again.. i might lose u.. again..

tears i cried for u.. scars i carved for u.. that`s all nothing. just treat me better. i don`t need u to be handsome.. i just want u to love me like u do. i dun mind u scolding me when u not in mood. i dun mind u scold me "go die lah" or.."childish!" or even "ni zhe ge ren hen qian ma leh!".. i dun care although it hurts me deeper den u think.. i dun care.. all i want is for u to love me all over again. i`ll do anything for it.. anything.. cos i know that i am meant to be 'ben nu ren'.. forever..

i hope that u din see this post.. although i told u i`m updating blog. dun tok about it in front of me.. i will tear.. i already teard the whole nite after reading the letters u wrote to me be4 september 05. i missed them.. a lot.; the words u used inside. :( i know i can`t change u.

`__fOreversUnGintears

I LOST MY HANDPHONE

2006-02-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

I LOST MY NOKIA 6230I

It`s reallie veri saddening. =( i juz bought it not long ago.

I forgot about it and left it in class ytd during recess time. i on realised it after school. =(
it`s like.. AHHHHH !~

i`m willing to pay for the HP loh. i have too much thinks important to me inside. contacts, pictures. all those hard to get back u know! why why why!!

I found a HP the other time and returned it to the owner. BUT why is people stealing someone else's thing?! haoxin you hao bao is it? wad i get in return is this. shiit!!

hmms.. jessica and madeline offered to lend me their spare HPs but.. holding onto someone`s HP veri ya li de leh. like. what happens if i happen to lose it? what if i spoilt it? i have to pay u know~!

But on the other hand, WITHOUT A HP I CANNOT SURVIVE~ argh~

i didn`t go sch coz i cant sleep last night. it`s really painful u know.300 dollar plus 2 year plan.. AND i only used it 2 months!! so sad and angry. i wanna bang wall to death! SHIT the person!

anione willing to sell me their spare/2nd hand HP for a reallieeee cheap price? any models will do.

I AM ALSO WILLING TO PAY $300 FOR MY NOKIA 6230I. I WILL NOT REPORT YOU. JUZ PLACE IT BACK TO WHERE IT WAS!! NOONE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.. PROMISE..

hais.. as if got ppl come my blog see this and return me.. sua.. bye bye..

SINYING IS DYING

long long time

2006-02-03T04:41:00.000-08:00

I took my ham-hams from Candy todae. 12th Jan is da date of birth for them.

hmms.. i went to buy the cage. In the end spent more den $45 den gotta 2 hamsters free! =) i chose females cos candy gave me males. but i dunno how to diffrent shape them. ended up val has 2 females!! i think. sob sob. no mate man. dats sad eh? long long time no online liao. oso a little bit dunno how to type liaos. now must type with looking on the keys. sad nehs.

ehh.. thx candy! =)

okayys lah. wait till i free den i MATE dem. muahaha~

actualliee hoh, now i`m in yeekuan hse leh! hahaha. using her comp loh. the others playing black jack. i missed maple~ lalalalalala.

yeekuan cook for us leh. dunno will stomach ache not. ''__''

valentine`s coming liao. hope all couple sweet sweet forever. hope those who wans love will get together with their loved ones soon. hope singles happy happy. hope i buy new comp sooN~

kayys lah. going to surf ard the net liaos. tta. buhbye.

com.ply.cated

2005-12-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

my comp spoil liao. no comp to plae le. =[

next time, KYKY, DAHLIA, ANGELINE, blah blah bla..
all my frien we go take neos k? =) den i put all pic in my friendster.
val dun wan put me i put u all lohs. no big deal de hoh?
*SO SAD*

wanna learn to forgive and forget
wanna learn to be numb
wanna learn not to be hurt
wanna learn to heal myself
wanna learn to be mature
wanna learn to be understanding..
i know u hav had enuff of me.. looking at ur webs made me soo soo sad.
didn`t u knew who sob for u?
twice alot
but now
serious sobbing has yet begun
close yr eyes, spread yr wings, lay down as if u`r in a dead sea
cry...
meds and docs dun cure
plasters and bandages dun improve it.
it only deepends.
no one there to be with me.
no one beside to close up with.
no one sees me in their eyes.
will attantion be scars and bloods and knifes?
will i be cured deeeep within?
snow falling..
melting..
sun rising..
and sobs drying..
heart frozen..
nv moving.. again..
`__SADisfacttiOn

2005-11-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

Going malaysia later in about 20min time
missing you* now, cried just now
feel like hugging you* but i going le wor
cant see you* for 3 days, sad hor?
will miss you* de lah, must take care of yourself leh
i cant take care of you*

Now talking on the phone with you* and her
my heart felt abit painful
cus im leaving soon..haiya continue talk with you lah
shall not blog le
i heart you*

SADisfaction

2005-10-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

WHAT HAPPENED!
why everyone sad now? includes me.
Joann and Jelyn.
Valerie and me.
still got some names i do not wish to include here.

I was reading Valerie`s blog. i can`t believe she said dat.
it`s not dat i do not want to accompany her to the doctor. it`s dat i want to wait for my mom to come home and get money from her. So, after dat we can go have lunch. she called me.. i told her this and she hang up.
I was so disappointed but nothing could be done.

i called her. many times. not 10.. its more den that. i`m sure.
when i told her this, all she said was ''den? veri big ah?'' it hurts me ok.
i know u r disappointed with me for not accompany u to see doc. but pls pls pls! understand dat i have my reasons. it`s not everytime i can quarrel with my mom just to have it yr way. U r free.. as in.. u can go out whenever u want, as long as it is not midnight. but me? not everytime i can go out.

My dad has his limites to my 'going-out' time table. there are times where i actuallie quarrelled wih them to go out with u. I can`t accompany u everyday. and i can`t use too much fone now, i can`t accompany u talk everyday too. i nv tok to others. i watch tv.. help my mother do things and all that can take up my whole night. Now dat u all know..

Valerie, i dunno wad i want to say. IWhen i was toking to u just now. i noe u wasn`t happy.
i know it was about me.
i tried to cheer u up. didn`t i? But all.. all the things u said was soo soo soo nagetive. U shouted me in public, u pushed me away when i want to console u by playing with u. u walked away leaving me alone behind. think....
is dat really wad u wan? i consolled myself by saying, ''she`s just playing with me.. pretending to be angry..'' but i all was true. Disappointment.

I hope u can treat me better. Dylan also pls. i now have no one to tok to. i feel alone. i tried to tok to val. i tried hard.. can any pills be eaten?

KYLICIA`S WALLET STUCK ON THE SHELTER SOMEWHERE NEAR MY HOUSE!!
kylicia and wei kiam came my hse. we had fun yup. i wanted to call valerie along. cos u miss her "weiiiiii~~~'' haha.
after dat, she forgotten her wallet when we were downstairs. i asked my sister to throw dwn. *piewwww~~~~~* *DOPP~* i landed on the shelter.
OMG! kiam climb the rubbish bin to get it for her. haha. water pipe was used. =)

i have all the things said.
forgive forget forever.
-lovesmoo-

OH MY GOD

2005-10-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

I LOVE SASUKE !
Don`t u all think Sasuke is cool? *i`m just another pethatic Sakura.. =__+
hmms.. Sasuke is the guy on the left of my blog. Sakura is obviously the girl =)
so nice hoh? both are from Naruto.

Kakashi isn`t bad too eh? hic hic hic*
hmms.. for by dear b-lai-li siao lang.. i shall start a story on Naruto.
hic hic hic*
As u all know, i nv finish my stories. =______=
This time, i finish liao den tell u all. hic hic hic*

STOP POSING OTHER PPL`S PICTURE ON YR FRIENDSTER PLS!
This is to the girl, who post Valerie`s 'hand-craving' picture onto her 'puity puity friendster'.
She is Fann`s sis`s frien. Can say that she is 'chio' den me. (well.. i`m not). but i just think that i DO NOT like her. Last time was JoAnn. someone post her pic onto the someone`s blog. and now is Valerie. How dare!!
The reason said by her, to past Valerie`s picture onto her friendster was because Valerie`s picture is ''chio''. that`s the reason. hmms. meaning i DO NOT have the chioness of being post! oh well..

NEW INTERESTING NARUTO STORY. ALL NARUTO FANS PLS PROCEED TO... TO... MY PRETTY BLOGGY FOR MORE INFORMATION.
I don`t really know much about what i`m going to write. But if i do, i`m going to have to give up my Maple live for it. So... yah. pls duo duo zhi chi wo. xie xie.

Ultimate shuayness!

2005-09-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

I`m writing this post in red! OMG OMG
u will nv believe wad happened.
16 sep 05 =>> one day be4 my bdae.
valerie lost her hp. =(
she asked me to keep it. i took out my hp so i ask kiam to help me take awhile.
after dat kiam gimme back. i placed it in my bag.
someone stole it! OMG OMG
and i din Xpect her asking me to pay! hmmps*
after dat we keep quarreling lohs.
hais. i gotta pay 130 now. wadda hell.
some say not my prob. ask me die die dun pay.
but, if i dun.. thinnk of how am i going to face her.
ok lo. nvm den. one of my frien in msn console me.
say.. "treat the payment as the cost of this friendship."
but.. isn`t it too much for me to pay!?
i thot, i ask my dad to ask her help out distributing flyers..
she will get salary frm my dad. den i can pay lesser.
but NO!
she said she dun wanna count the salary in.
meaning.. i have to pay MY salary to her PLUS owiing her another 70 dollar!
130- 35(paid) - 50(ALL my salary) = 45.
yah yah yah.. how am i going to save up 45?
go work in geylang loh! one night think can le.
fastest way mah.
but jux jkjk nia. i cant believe she do this to me! hais*
JoAnn, fann, jelyn. thx for toking to me dat nite. although jelyn hung up 0.0
Witness wor! i pay for the hp oso! means i can use the HP too!
i wan means i wan! hmmps*
who ask her ask me pay oso ah! bai chi!
muakaka~
u all muz witness.. if she treat me nice nice den forget it. if nv hoh.. u all noe wadda do hor?
make sure u all kill her and burn the body. wahkaka~

Priced relationship?.. lalala. i can say nothing bout it.

-SADisfaction-

4th mth =]

2005-08-26T23:51:00.000-07:00

Happy fourth mth~

My 4th mth le leh. lol.
=]
went calerie hse. wait for her put bag. lol.
den after dat i went out with my dear bear bear =__=. lol.
went para para. with shaun and one of his church friens. joel.
joel played parapara style. nice.
shaun? same style like last time. the funny old man style. =__= lol.
but this time. he added in the 'washing of hair'..
haha~ it was funny.=]
my day was fine.
when i woke up. it was so fresh.
but den in sch valerie cried =[ sob. sayang~ lol =p
hmms. lalala. ..

i planned a bit for the chalet thingie. but jelyn dun wan Bbq. she wanted chalet.
chalet 1 night 100++ so exp~ Bbq got food. den 100+ no need buy more food. den more ppl can come. hmms
i dunno lah. but i wuld prefer the bbq lohs.
she oso veri cute =__=
ask her tell her aunt dat she come celebrate den got chalet. i paying (a lie!) den she say she dun wanna lie.
cos she said she scare kanna grounded. hmms. can understand lah. no one like to be grounded.
but if chalet, den no need to invite ppl le bah? some more, if now chalet, end of year how?! =(
ah yah~

lalalalalalala~
dar dar. muacks. strawberriee kisses*
haha.=] thx for the gifts and the lipstick. love`em. love`ya too.

Hmms.

2005-08-21T02:10:00.000-07:00

boo.hmms.
dar dar sleep liao le bah. =]
he pierce his tongue today. ouchiee.
hmms. means that we cannot.. hais.. u noe.. wahkaka. jk.
he can`t eat.
it`s so painful!
i`m nv going to pierce mine.
even if i wished, my mom wouldn`t let me.
thx~ mom~
haha.
it`s going to be our 4th mth soon. veri fast hor? =)
who says i can`t have a long relationship?
although not yet very long.. but..
my longest liao! =D
round up 4 mth.
my first 3- digit days of a relationship.

other den dat, i`m having serious stomach ache.
whenever i eat something. my stomach will ache.
i think i`m gonna die.
how am i going to valerie`s hse tml!?
hmms. lalala~
god must bless me!
i will have medication befor going. hope i don`t puke on my way.
it`s gonna make me look yuckie isn`t it.
hmms.

today in maple very funneh.
kiwi87kiwi asked me..
"wads yr age" "18 already?"
=> i`m 15. why?
"i see. "

"if 18 liao can marry me le mah"

wahkaka!
gimme a break lah. den i play with him lohs..
ask him beg me. with flowers and ring. mayb i will consider. *cross finger*
he begged. den everyone was looking. so pai seh
but den.. =__=
i told him something. wahkaka
i told him i`m les! wahkakaka!
he was like.. "normal. but i hate butchs."
=> ''why''

"cos they snatch my woman away"

AHAHAHAH! funny boh?! i was like.. haha..
i wanted to say i butch.. ah ya.. but dun wan la. lol..

YEEKUAN! play maple.. no GB play le play maple.. lol.
joann, if u got play, add me =)
=> lovesmoo (aqualia)

lalala.. "lalong lalong~ selling blue legolia.. for only 80k mesos."
haha..

mr.loong said, cash discount is to encourage ppl to buy more.. not i giving discount le hor! 80k cheap liao oH!
haha bye all.~ i`m going to have my rest now.

and wei kiam, all the best for yr new life without maple. =)

-bitchyness loves her moo moo-

dark dark night...

2005-08-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

this incident happen to a gurl in singapore.

after hearing him promissed to call me back later, i hung up my phone. knowing that he`s going to do it again. i have nothing to do that will help stop him. i received a call from his house. it was his best pal, staying at his house who i use to be jealous with.'' he is crying buckets now." followed by a shout from behind. " hold on! he cut himself!"
all i could reply was 'ok'. den hang up.
is it going to be deep? is he going to die?
i'm very bad. am i? i've hurt him once more.
i do know he was worried. but why did i have to do these!!
hatred began to grew inside me.
i wanted to do the same. but i dun wanna leave him.

*beep beep*

it was an SMS from the friend.
'he`s crying buckets now. i really don`t know wadda do.'
my heart is feeling empty.
i want to see him!

i ran to my mom. telling her my friend is going to die.
i wanna take a cab down to his house. but i can`t seem to kind any!
i ran the whole street trying to find one.
Finally!
i hope on a cab and asked the uncle to drive as fast as possible.
This is my first time i am so worried.
Pictures of him with blood covering his hands showed up, just like the sadistic pictures he took before. wad am i going to do!
after i get off the cab, i ran as fast as possible to get there.
hey, i do remember the road there... do i?!

when finally i got there, and finally, sweating and going into his house.
i was forced to get hold of my tears. i dun wan the situation to get worst.
there he was. with blood dripping. floor, wall, all over him. the towel he was holding was also filled with his blood. it`s all fresh red. it was terrible!
No gurl! no tears pls! i was feeling so sad.
i looked at him.
hugged him. his blood printed onto my shirt. gave him a peck on his cheek.
"honey, please speak to me."
although he is still concious, i was worried.
we typed alot of things on the hp.
comunicate on it.
i realised that he saw his frien`s hp when i typed " i think i`m gonna break up with him....."

don`t worry now.we`re ok.=]

-edited by:
Sin Ying

hmms. sensitive me.

2005-08-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

I think i`m too sensitive.
Not knowing my feelings have been so hurt myself.
for her staying over at your house.
i know dat u are juz helping her.
but how long is it gonna end?
ok. i noe if i were to confront u.
u will say dat i think too much again.
ok. i`m toking to u on the fone.
u can stop here. i dun wish to tok bout it anymore.

I can`t believe it.
yes. i`m feeling nth now.
a little bu xi guan bout her staying over thingie.
not use to listening to her laffter behind yrs.
don`t u find lately, u and i tok bout de things all not veri happiee or lovey- dovey anymore?
no longer like be4
nope.
not wishing to quarrel nor b-up here.
dun wish to hold it anylonger.
jo-n they all brought up my feelings.
" how can u still smile to her!"
yes. i nv say i like her. i oso nv say i dun like her.
"they noe u better"
this sentence, u said dem.
i don`t think so.
sms her in front of me. ok. this is nth.
having her go wherever u go. wad is this? even when u have to meet me at my house here?
PHS apd day, all of us dunno she was coming.
jessica said i think too much too. my conclution be4 was 'yes, mayb'

i noe she got bf.
wad the diff?
i hav one too.
she is rich. she can buy the whole world for her bf.
i dun need u to do the same too.

since she`s staying in yr house.
u have much more smiles and happiness glowing in u.
although i said i did not kind, and i didn`t wanna care at all.
I DO! i am sensitive. i am jeslous.
wad life is this to me?
having a gurl sleeping beside u.
laffing with u.
playing and having fun with u.
bring much more happiness i culd to u.
going out with u wherever u go.
now, half of yr room goes to her.
how did u Xpect me to go over?

if u did`nt realise.
i was silent.
all i heard was 'weii...'
den was like. 'wahahhaa'
yeah yeah. lot of laffter.
i tok to kiam u oso dun like?
i didn`t tok much already.

'who`s dat gurl wit yr dylan?'
how u suppose i ans them?
smile and Xplain?
"oh! juz a girl pal of his staying over at his house."

i wrote too much...

hmms.

2005-07-23T01:30:00.000-07:00

Boo.like a long time nv write liao hor?
haha.
hmms. maple-ing lah. zZZz
i read eur* blog. =[
sorry lah. i noe sometimes i very unreasonable.
but, wo shi nu ren ma!
haha.
*every day shall be give in to moo moo day*
this sentence made u sob dat night. i din noe why.
Untill u said the three words dat made me the same.
hmms.
although everyday is give in to moo moo day, u oso can give in me de u noe!
i noe u gave in too much =P

i saw yr hands.
they look just like mine.
but it`s bigger den mine for sure.
i didn`t expect this outcome.
the minute i licked it.
it tasted sour.
bitter and numb.
my tongue could feel the line u made.
i felt weird.
really weird.
i read yr blog just befor i update mine.
the were the same taste as yr hand.
i hope now, it`s all over.
lets all begin something new.
sweet and fragrance will fill our hearts and soul.
isn`t dat what love is like?
taste of love.

-suicidal -oOzieEblOod

bored

2005-07-01T10:31:00.001-07:00

i`m in school now.so bored.
valerie now dunno looking at who`s blog.
jessica is sleeping in the comp room in front of me.
i`m looking for imformation on the 'house of wax' for english movie review.
haha. i`m the only one working. AND writing blog at the same time.
haha.
i`m so hungry now.
i still have 1/2 hr to do my things bout the movie thingie.
haha. u think i will finish?
well. NO! i`m hungryy~
i need food~
dardar cook eggiee bread for me 2day. ^_____^
haha. ytd me fanne weikiam and valerie go cwp.
eat pizza hut.
fanne say like celebrating she single again lidat. hmms.
i dunno what she did wrong.
but as a boy. can`t u just tolerate?
if u`re thinking things like asking her to change and stuff.
forget it.
if u like some one. like her/him for who they are!
not changing them into some one else den stay together foreva. all these is so shitty!
yes. she does use a`lil violent on u.
but. is it onliee the slap and stuff u can think of when u have nth to do!
isn`t ther anymore happier memories to over take the violents she used!
i bite dylan. slap. pinch. anything oso can.
he wun keep it in mind. not asking me to change too.
i love him this way.
but u?
onliee think of the bad.dark side of fanne.
where`s her gentle.nice.cute side in u?
it`s not in yr mind.
so where`s it?
where did it go!?
u don`t listen to this but think. pls.
i realliee hate saying this but u do not deserve fanne.
she deserve someone betta then u. much more betta then u.
no hurt. no love.
this love had caused too much hurt.
forget it. she`ll live on better then u.
don`t let me see anyone of ur hurtful msges.
i`ll let the scars on fanne before and the pain she get on u!
more then u imagine.
i don`t care if i have to go to jail. gurl`s home.
IMH oso liddat.
if i see them.and i`m with a penknife. sure to cut u.
i wan u to feel the pain she had gotten frm u.
fanne is my frien. u r so nth.

AND. u were the one who changed.
Volleyball? senior!
i may have likeD u the last time.
but i have hated u from the time fanne cried for u.
the very 1st time she cried.
u ruined her life.

bored

2005-07-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

Too obsessssss...

2005-06-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Here to update my blog liao.
haha.
sorry ah.
like longlong time nv update liao hor?
too obsesssss liao.
with Maple Story.
last time ppl intro me play when the game juz started.
but i play gunbound. hais.
now den start.
but nvm ^______^

Oh yah !
me and dylan hao hao liao.
i read it jux now. so sadistic sial =________=
hiak hiak.
more bites ! haha
si dylan! nii gan bu yao wo wo jiu sha le nii!!! =P
haha.
i like the way u teng wo.
... like the way u call me in the morning and say ' wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up'
haha.
i like the way u are loh.
so u don`t need to change anything lah k.
juz be who you are lohs.
hehes.
hen rou ma leh!
ok la. don`t say liao.
like long time nv take neos with fanne liao leh
next time go take hao ma?
wan kai xue liao. =(
i wan my holidays~
lalala.
ok la.
i will update next time.hehehe.
dat`s when i`m not playing Maple like now!
la la la~~

2nd mth liao.
hao kuai wor.
^_____^
dar dar.
ilu*
hiak hiak.
muackx~
i n . l a l a l a n d . w i t h . m y . t i g g e r . b a o . b a o .
s o . n i c e . a n d . w a r m .
i l u *

what are we?

2005-06-15T01:42:00.000-07:00

I asked u if u wanted time to seperate us.
no reply.
i dont wanna break up.
but,
u hanged up my call.
u dun do dat last time do u?
i dun wan u to leave either.
i`m gonna go crazziee.
u`re typing 'hahaha' and 'lol' with tears in yr eyes.
i can tell.
u lost yr words?
i lost mine.
but,
u dont noe.
i`ve too lost my mind.
yeekuan is angry bout me.
my mom doesnt care.
my dad goes 'lalala' whenever my mom said something.
my sister is annoying me.
my life had gone all mixed up.
and now,
finally,
eu*..

my tears had dried.
no longer dried in my eyes.
they`re at the sides of my mouth.
cant u feel it?
there it goes again.

i hate ur display pictures.
mayb we shld tok.
but when i saw yr screen in msn.
my eyes and fingers went all numb.
they just dun move.
i cant type.
my mind`s black.
there`s nth to even tell me wat to do with this.
situation like this had nv shown up.

if u will be happier without me.
no more stress from me.
no more bites and scares and cuts.
i dun wanna be yr bitch.
i feel dat it`s someone else.
dont mention about tigers,
i hate them.
they chase after me,
ate my heart.

i saw it in her* blog.
i felt jealous.
why are my hands so itchy!
last tym, i clicked on xiao x** `s profile.
i feel the same.
now,
why mus my hands click on 'it' on the blog?

it all feels the same.
once stupid.
forever bennuren.

nii chong lai mei you zhe me dui wo.
zhe shi di yi ci.
cold.

s h a t t e r e d . l o n e l i n e e s .
l a l a l a n d . c o l d . c o l d .

fcuking house!

2005-06-14T22:48:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHA!
I LOVE MY HOUSE.
WAN WAD WILL HAVE WAD DE LEII

my hse so nice.
wan suicide no penknife.
wan 'zhi xie' no plaster oso LOH!
wan encouragement oso dun have.
wan medcine oso dont have.
wan wad oso cant have de!! wadda fuking hse is this!

all right! i know it`s me. ok fine i got nth to say!!
just fuk off my wrold!
and den dont tok to me!
i hate u!
all of u!
ALL OF U!

pts isn`t just a name...
pts is wad?
part tym stead..
if u have pts wan a real stead for wad?
ok.
i shall say nomore.
jus a name?
ok.
let it be a name den.

why u wan pian wo.
i noe u got cry.
got got got got!
i noe it de.
i realliee dunno wad i doing.
i realliee reallie veri tired of all these things.

but i dun wanna just break up ok!
if u wan i got nth to say.
rem what i told u?
dat nite?
do it.
i`ll get the hint.

alone`aside.
l a l a l a n d . s o . c o l d . t o n i g h t .
b r r . . .

sorriee

2005-06-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

Sorriee..

sorriee for angrying at the wrong time.
sorriee for making eu* worried ?.
sorriee for not wishing eu* luck on time.
sorriee for off-ing my hp n din see jess`s sms.
sorriee for causing eu* to lose yr bball match.

"i noe dat hoping for time to change back isn`t the solution.
or shld i say, there isn`t any solution?
i`m getting kinda stressed up now.
it`s not eu*
it`s just me.
my family members looked down on mi.
now, i`ve caused eu* this.
just let it all end.
realliee too tired to carriee on life.
i noe curving myself isn`t the way to solve things.
but wad else is?
not to worry bout me.
cos there isn`t a need to.
left alone.
in the dark dark nite.
alone in the dark and lonely nite."

shuo zhe xie you yong mah?
ru guo zhen de you shi guang chuan shuo ji hiu hao le.
ru guo ni zhen de yao zhou huo shi hen wo de hua.
qiu qiu ni bie gao shu wo.
rang wo man man de fa xian ni de li qu ba.

wo zhi dao shi wo xiao qi.
wo mei yong.
ni men ye bu xu yao ma wo ba?
shi,wo shi bai jia nu.
shi,wo shi ben.
shi,wo shi mei you yong.
shi,wo hua qian ru liu shui.
na you zhe me yang?
nan dao wo jiu bu shi ren ma.
wo jiu bu shi ni men qing shen de ma?

u brought me in to this cold cold world.
now dat eu* wanna me to leave.
wad did i do to deserve all these?
or am i just a sad loner.
stress and depression and brought me into further mistake.
i really hate myself.
i hate u even more.

hmms......

2005-06-08T23:43:00.000-07:00

Alot of things happen leii..
yeekuan`s in the hospital.
coz of stomach ulcer.
tml laser OP to remove it.
she dont wan us to go visit.
hmms.

Dylan Bibola.
dats wad he says.
hmms.
i think stress bahs.
it`s ok.
dont be sorry dar dar.

my parents.
they always keep mii at home for no reason.
unless i bug them like hell?
hmms*.

i went k-box todae.
with dar dar.
i saw olinda on my way to taka.
she is cool now.
not plump.
slim.

valerie came my hse for dinner.
mommiee cook chicken rice todae.
nice wor!
hmms.

after dat i went cwp with fanne. and val
buy shoes.and shirt? and pants?
she spent sho much.
i heart pain fer her too.
but think she will look good in dat outfit.
she going malaysia.
reduce stress.haha. (if she have?)

good luck for yeekuan`s op tml.
i`m tired. =)

hope dat dar dar`s curfew will end soon.
hmms.
tata.

l a l a l a n d
o I N k - i e E & m O o - i e E

nort in sg...

2005-05-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

Missing eu in malaysia.. sian

how are eu guys?
the comp here power.. BETTA den mine at home.
hmms..
meii got hao hao take care mah.. got help me take good care of her mah.. haha..
hmms.. hear bout her bball match le..
jia you!~

me now in the cyber cafe in genting..
veri 'cheap!'
10rm for like.. 1 hrs.. hmms.. ok lah not bad lah.. got like.. time to peii mii dardar..
actuallie is ytd wanna come onlin de..
dunno dylan got online mah.. dats y nv..hmms
i bought dylan a shirt~ BIG BIG DE!
hiak hiak..
i try to buy chewing gums tml lohs.. for eu all.. but hor.. dunno can anot lah..
later my daddie dun wan den i no choice..
hmms..
tml going back singapore.. tml dardar got bball match @ 2.30.. hmms.. think cannot go again .. i chack out 11 plus.
think go back singapore bout dat time lo..

i cant leave dylan man.. how.. u noe hor.. dat day i was about to leave.. in car @ the checkpoint.. i cry leii!
omg.. in her house i oso cry.. at home at nite i oso cry.. lol..
siao le lah me..
mii cousinz all playing CS.. sian bo.. here gb cannot play.. !!!!!!!! i wan go home now!~
i wan meetme dardar..
i wanna go see dardar play bball..
i wanna go home sleep!
i mish mii bed alot too.. sianz..

ok la.. update till here.. see u all tml? hiak hiak..
hmms....... till den..

tata` - oINk-ieE shang..

oINk-ieE & mOo-ieE
l a l a l a n d .

PMS

2005-05-29T01:53:00.000-07:00

Dar dar..
sorry..
i noe its my fault..
i shouldn`t have pms-ed in front of u..
i noe u`re angry of mii..
it`s not gunbound..
it`s mii..
i'm leaving tml..
i dun wan anything to happen to u..

i dubble clicked on yr nick in msn..
hoping dat u will type something to me..
in gunbouund..
hoping dat u will ask me to be rdy or something again..
but wad i got was dat u left..
i noe im selfish..

finally pm-ed me in msn? hmms..
dat web is bored..
dats not wad i wan..
if only u were here beside mii,,

my tears are really dropping this time..
it has really been a while since i cried..
why muz it be for u?
don read on ... not for u to..

i`m not gonna write wads on my mind..

1 mth and a day le

2005-05-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

1 Mth and a day liaO..
Hmm.. ^^ yii ge yue le..
anD , mii cOmp perFectLy fiND thX!
hAha.. dAr daR plAyiNG bBalL.
tking On fOne tO heR tOo.
wOnder whO is sHe* ? hmMs.. sUdDenlY pIck Up thE fOne AnD asK if I misSed heR? hmMs..
wrOnG persOn baH? lOL...

yTD we wENt Out.watCH mOvie aND waLk walK lOhs.DeN Go hIs hOuse.Did aLOt Of thINGs hOr! lOL.
huGgeS lOts.hmMs..

i gOinG mAlaySia sOon. miSs eU leii.
hmMs. sHE bU de Li kaI nii wOr..
i'lL bUy eU sOmethiNG de.
hmMs.. keKeS..

[[ * muaCKs * ]]

Hmmmms..

2005-05-22T04:38:00.000-07:00

Again like soOo long no update le..

guess wad! i put my legs into a pail of warm warm water.. why? ITCHY~ ~

Pei rong and yee kuan got pro again.. hais.. how many times pr wanna find problems to do!? she 'jia bah bo tai ji zho' isit? next time wan CLARIFY things can come to me lohs.. call my hp lohs.. i veri free des..

moooooOOooOOOooOOOooooOoo...

mOo-ieE veri bad u noe!! broke promiss.. T.T

hais.. ajunied bball i cant go on 30th de.. hmms.. i going to GEnting with my family..30th may 2005.. at bout 1.30am liddat lohs.. hmms.. really sian 1/2 sial... dunno wad to do le lah.. hmms... cannot dun go oso.. stressed up le..

Going one month liao wor..^^
Guess wad i`m getting for u?
actualliee..
i oso dunno lol.. haha
Till i noe wad i going to buy~
tata~

oINk-ieE & mOo-ieE
in lala.land
with you.

i feel guitly

2005-05-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

I feel guity..
Are u like.. feeling presure in our relationship? i'm sorrie..
i really dun wan to see yr tears drop like dat..
i know u feel stress in yr work..
sorry for still asking u out, causing u to cannot studie..
ok.. we wait for holidays ok?
no matter wad happens..
oINk-ieE will fereva be yrs..
yupp` -
not even dragon could take me..
dont feel P..
u're B..
I feel that u're one..
no one will take u awae from me too..
i lurve u for who u r..
there isn't a need to change anything..
you're mine...

oINk-ieE ("v") mOo-ieE

hmms!

2005-05-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhhh!~

i got fcuked!~ =.=

La la la... zzz

i'm bored.. 070505.. Valerie rape me~

lols.. mOo-ieE and oINk-ieE.. heehees..

i feel so sowee... angeline.. sowee... i don`t mean to not accompany u tok dat dae.. i reallie reallie fergot to bring my key.. den i got val to accompanie me.. den i eating u call ma.. no matter wad, val and ying jie will help u des... and.. val, can keep secrets de.. so no need worrie....

next time, anything, call me... no need scared sae i sleeping or wad de..^^

070505.. valerie come my hse stay over.. i told my mommie sae she waiting fer her frien.. but in the end.. my mom sae to late le ask her stay over.. haha! my mom treat her good good de nehs!~ even i jealous liao.. lol.. some more.. give her chao fan.. even i dun have!~ (is i dun wan eat lah lol)

Looks like.. val have to cook some thing fer my mom in return liao wor! heehees.. i veri full.. *burp*

ok la.. blog till here.. zzz... sleeping soon le.. nite nite. . .

l a l a . l a n d . w i t h . m y . m O o - i e E

`babie i lurve u
and i`ll neva let u go`

tao yan~

2005-05-07T02:11:00.000-07:00

hmms... kekes.. yupp.. i did something... nono.. WE did something.. bleah!~

heehees.. ok lah.. shall not sae anymore.. lols.. chao mOo-ieE..

hmms.. Xam ah.. dunno will pass not worsh.. how how!? i dun bother to study oso.. cannot blame.. hais.. poor me.. lols..

hais! i don`t like u.. can u like.. pls.. don`t call again.. u know who u are! ahhhhhhh! shoo shoo shoooooooo! ---> IF u sees this.. zzz..

hmms... mos burgers? i want my apple pie!~ lols..

i think i have bulimia! hais.... .... it is a illness like... vomit wadeva u eat lo.. hais.. dunno lah.. den like.. i dio all the symptons liao lei!! zzz...

some one save meee~

lala lala lala lala elmo's song~

ok la.. zzz... sian liao.. see eu!~ keekeees

Pig-ieE ("v") mOo-ieE

wad did i go wrong?

2005-05-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

Did i do something wrong?
i feel some thing wrong.. after dat dae fanne angry with me..
It's like.. mayb, we're now diff class.. and start to miss more with our new friens.. but.. old friens are equallie important.. mayb i shld sae, more important?

Me and fanne use to be like.. everything oso chat bout.. but, now?? i dont noe..
Bout dat dae, the chimes thing.. mayb u have mistook me..
i WAS suppose to go m'sia.. but in the end i didn't..
sorrie i didn't tell u before dat makes u thinks dat i'm keeping or lying to u..

I reallie reallie dont wan our friendship to be like this..
sometimes , i just wish we will coll down and think or reflect on wad we did for one another..
and of cos, wad we did to each another..
I'm not toking bout fanne.. dun mistake me..
i'm toking bout everyone!

friendship dui wo lai shuo.. hen zhong yao..
Wo bu yao shi qu ni men..

fanne, u think valerie, venessa they all replacing u and kylicia and kiam2?
hmms.. it's just dat we have diffrent class and diffrent friends now? i think we need to work more on our friendship don't u think? ^^

No matter wad fanne.. i don't wan u to think dat sin ying had changed..
Even if i changed, our friendship shall not kayys?
^^ (sae till got little bit rou ma hor?)
(who cares!~)
Lets start from the stars everyone.. (if u got come see my blog lohs lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

eh.. i think i shld sae thins.. ^^

my relationship had started on 26 april.. heehees.. sowee if i gotta neglect my friends awhile lah.. sowee!~.. hmms.. heehees..

so now, nothing to keep le wor! ^^

those who dunno who hor.. can go eat shiit le lah! (lols wink)

heehees

2005-04-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

`26o4o5`

Guess wad happened? heehees...

dun tell u lei!

bleh!~

happie thing lah.. kekes..

weeeeeee. nth to write actuallie..

on the same dae, xiao long called.. bullshiit alot of things.. i told him lo.. he's too late.. hais.. dun care him lah.. tok bout him waste my time nia..

zzz

sleepie lei...

oh! yah!~ dat horny bustard!

chao dylan~

=X so easie horny de.. tao yan~ -.-

lols.. cant believe we did it in class =X wooooops

ok.. some thing else.. kekes..

lalala...

sian.. not free.. toking on fone.. weeeeeeeeeee`

anything call me lohs.. u shld noe de no. ah!~

till den

lalala` tata

#AngEL ("v") DeviL#

FINALLIEE`

2005-04-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

hey..

long time no update liao...

hmms... start from wher lei...

ah!!

xiao long ah.. dat time i saw him while i was with dylan,fanne and aaron and shaun u noe!! den we stole this "da vinci" thing.. lols...

i like dylan...

den... nth le loh.. some times, i juz love the wae i make him* go mad.. haha..

i WAS not sure of my label...

now i think!!... i noe liao? bi?

hmms... dat dae i cry ..

cos i was like thinking, "We accept the fate dat we/me/him/her are gays.. but will the world accept us?"...

Are we* gonna last? worried and depress.. haiz i duno la..

hmms..i reallie dunno wadda say la... manie ppl keep asking me bout us... all i gotta sae is.. i like him.. and i dunno dunno dunno le!~~~

how i feel being ma?... gre8 i shld sae.. happie lohs.. dun need to think of anything de.. juz be high on dat dae and lalala~ there u go.. lol

much betta den dragon lohs..

i wanna eat my shuuushiii liao~~

tata~

#AngEL ("v") DeviL#

Wee` -

2005-03-29T19:57:00.001-08:00

Hello~

long long time no write liao.. i dunno how manie times spoil my comp liao lohs! lol.. hmms... ok.. update myself again..

me got 2 new lao gong!~

LaoGong09 -->Valerie/dylan
LaoGonG Siao-->Jessica

wahkaka!

u noe wad! joann lao po (po) jux snatched my lao gong09 awae~

sob sob T.T

lao gong 09 oso dun wan me neh!

hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni hen si ni~~~~~~~

LOL~

xiao long.. hmms.. i dunno lah.. 182daes of waiting and suffering.. all gone.. out come.. sin ying became more open minded and have less confidence in bois...

i hate to sae but i dunno y he treat me this wae.. if i treat him dat wae how? wad he feel...

xiao long ah xiao long.. some1 tell him pls.. ask him go treat his xiao xue gud gud bah.. dun gu fu xiao xue de xin.. i dun wanna care bout him liaos la..

LAOPO!! NI GEI WO JI ZHU!!

shu wei!.. happie birthdae..

Guiltiness

2005-01-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling guilty..

I promiz xiao long i dun hong other guys.. but i.. kinda.. ya noe.. hmm.. normally i wun really like care loh.. will be like.. okay.. finee.. i cut..

But it's like.. now feel quite bad lohs.. but really bo hong liao! i guai guai liao worsh!... promiz him de.. wei cheong ask fer stead.. actually ish wanna accept liao de.. but.. xiao long suddenly veri nice to me.. i xin luan liao.. hais.. i kinda.. ya noe.. reject him..

Xiao long call me everydae now worsh! my wish had came true isn't it.. hehes!

He is nice to me now lohs.. at least not like last time.. but hor.. he still wun rem my bday! =.=..

hais.. wadever lah.. as long as he is with me.. i dun care liao lah.. but wad will i do if 1 dae, he is to leave me?

He ask me not to leave de worsh.. den i stick on him loh.. LOL!..

School ish really bad.. no frien same class with me.. but managed to make some lohs.. jessica and valerie.. and candy oso.. Pls let me pass me exam! i stress sial.. but hw still lazy to do nehz.. hais.. dunno how to study le lah!

I WAN A NEW FONE! hais.. this friday i going to see new new new new fone!! i dun care! my plan and liaos mah.. heehees.. get new plan oso.. WEEPEE!~

I wan X400.. i think it's quite nice u noe.. but only got black and white lah! Jessica got black.. Valerie got white.. i wanted the black.. but jessica sae veri easy see the hand print.. she ask me get white.. hmm...

But some ppl ish they dun like ppl same things with them de worsh! i scare Valerie dun wan lah.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. but i think both oso nice.. mayb go get others?

I want a flip fone!... my daddy wanna sell me his E600C fer 200 dollars.. i think dun wan la.. is like.. can get new 1 y not? hehe.. well.. we'll see bout it den lah..

Valerie.. hen gao xing ren shi ni zhe ge wu liao de shen jing bing.. haha!!

Jessica.. Bu xing de.. ren shi dao le ni wor! =.=

candy.. dun cut liao lah.. dun wanna see u cry lehz..

pls lah.. old frienz dun jealous lah.. lurve u all lah.. mmuackx.. hehes..

Ai xiao long duo le yi dian dian.. =P

'LonG ZhI YinG'