{PROLOGUE}

TOHSINYING.yzanne *]]
attached & unavaliable *]]
Going 16 soon *]]
17 sep 90 *]]
Naval base secondary *]]
Food & Nutrition *]]
hand chimes *]]
i love and am loved *]]
gaga over uu *]]
crazy for uu *]]
hyper passive *]]
easily low too *]]
smile *]]
i`m happy with what i have ^^*]]

[x] to love and to be loved - }}
[x] to be cherished & doted - }}
to be understood - }}
[x] not to think too much - }}
no one nothing will stop me - }}
[x] not to be yixiangqingyuan - }}
[x] be cared and concerned - }}
no heartbreaks - }}
[x] not be cheated - }}
[x] not to be zhizuoduoqing - }}
[x] be missed - }}
no medication - }}
w 900 i - }}
N 80 - }}
MP3 - }}
2 GB MMC for w900i - }}
plastic cover for w550i - }}
new headset for w550i - }}
new pierce - }}

Jessica aka kakacrunch }}
Jayven aka toot^kia `baby }}
YeeKuan aka Angeline `mei }}
shaun aka kai xin guo }}
KY- aka fei mao }}
Val 09 aka cOwkimOo `kor }}
k-zai aka heimawangzi }}
Alison aka CrabisOn }}
Candy aka konghuilian }}
Jia wei aka lavanderr `nanny }}
Fanne aka Fannanna }}
kelson aka lemon boy }}
Rainy aka bbaby`x }}
Vashonz`14 aka xBabYx TigGeR }}
sinying`s happiness }}
What i did, for love.. }}

Afianne
37pence
Juvenile Casualty
Squared Pretties
Getty
 
October 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x]

i dunno wadda hell is wrong with me. hais..
wo ming ming jiu hai shi aii ni de.. but duno who i wanna let u go..
that time i was thinking that u will b happier.. free.. not so stressed up..
but den i know u cried.. :'( me too.
i went to stead with lelvin.. cos to forget u and oso, hope to give u up faster bahs.
but den.. more and more trouble came up.. making me tired of living..

hais..

yeah.. i am very hard to understand bahs. but den.. haha. i`ve made the effort to wait for u..
although only a mth now.. but this whole month is damm damm painful for me.. u know that?
in front of u, cannot sad.. try hard not to say anything bout` us..
but when i said something wrong.. something bout us.. u wuld be angry..
i know, u and yr other ex.. one year later den patch back.. blah blah..
i dun wan listen!! i am who i am.. i am me.. myself.. not her.
me and her different..
everyone is different..
i know u`re stressed up cos of me.. but have u think of me??
what did i do for u??

haha..

mayb to u, not that much.. other girls can do much more for me..
or mayb, others have done much more for their steads..
but think bout it..
how did i treat my ex when i break up with them?
look at them and u..
how i treat them..

haha..

bao ying bah..
i played too much..
i didn`t care much bout my ex..
even break le i won`t cry..
asked them to go for other ppl..
hurt them like dolls..
now.. it`s my turn? haha..

wo ren ming le bah..

i oso dunno wad i`ll do.. but i did..
i dunno how long i`m gonna wait..
i won`t wait long.. cos my life isn`t gonna wait for me dat long too.
i dun wan us to be "this way"..

imagine..

u loved someone soo deeply..
den break le..
still crappin`..
still laughing..
still loving her/him..
but den.. u dare not touch her/him..
because u know he/she isn`t urs anymore..
isn`t ONLY yrs..
well.. he/she WAS mine.. but not now anymore.
she/he is free to go out with wadever person..
to hold wadever person`s hands..
to hug wadever person tightly..
to kiss wadever person`s lips..
to be there for the person..
to be with the person..

and saddest.. these are how we were.. were.. suppose to be..

haha.. believe it or not.. i cried hard ytd night..
i was sitting at my balcony.. looking out into the dark..
i thought to myself.. isn`t there anyway i culd keep u.. with me??
wad muz i do??
will buying u wad u lik help?
or will being ignoring u help me??
mayb if i ignore u, or make u ignore me.. u would think bout me a little.

haha.. stupid me..

like, who will think of me lehh?! lol..

now regret, too late le bah i guess..
u can go now.. anywhere u wan.. whoever u wan..
i`ll let u go.. i`m not gonna block u..
cos u have already forgotten wad i`ve wrote to u..
u`ve forgotten wad u have wrote to me.. all the letters..
and the chi words in 'our' maths excerise bk..
u`ve forgotten wad i wrote in my testi to u..
u`ve forgotten wad we`ve said..

at the same time..

u`ve forgotten how u`ve loved me..
forgotten how u used to tease me..
forgotten how u used to call me in the night..
forgotten how u used to buy me things..
forgotten how u used to write letters to me..
forgotten how u used to forget our days and i`ve gotta remind u..
forgotten how u used to call me oink and i`ll go "oink"
forgotten how u used to lemme call u cow and u go "moo"
forgotten how u used to write on my wrist band..
forgotten how u used to mess up my hair..
forgotten how we used to take neos..
forgotten how we used to chat till one of us speak in 'dream language'
forgotten how we used to 'muach muack'
forgotten how i`ve asked u to 'kuai shuo...'
forgotten how i`ve withdrew my hand from yrs..
u`ve forgotten all these..

u`ve carved a deep deep scar onto my heart now..
a deep one.. although it has stopped bleeding..
scars will always be around..
i`ve used our 1st mth neos, yr rings and memories to cover this scar..
but u`ve once again riped them off..
it`s gonna start bleeding once more..

after reading this post.. i think u must have think alot of things..
i do not wish to guess wad u r thinking now..
but i guess, u will have watery eyes..
if not den i`m sorry. i wronged u again..
those eyes.. muz b cos of the stress i`ve given u again..
i wont mind if u shout at me..
i wont mind if u beat me up..
at least.. u viewed my blog..
i`m happie enough..

i wanna let u know..
once i can sleep without thinking of u..
without tearing..
i`ll be yr close close friend..
for now.. i dun wanna b yr friend..
cos i wan more then that..

if u still wanna leave, i can do nth..
leave all memories to me.. wadever i said that is memorable..
or wadever we did dat is memorable..
leave it all to me and go..
if u really wanna go.. go..

12:17 PM

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