{PROLOGUE}

TOHSINYING.yzanne *]]
attached & unavaliable *]]
Going 16 soon *]]
17 sep 90 *]]
Naval base secondary *]]
Food & Nutrition *]]
hand chimes *]]
i love and am loved *]]
gaga over uu *]]
crazy for uu *]]
hyper passive *]]
easily low too *]]
smile *]]
i`m happy with what i have ^^*]]

[x] to love and to be loved - }}
[x] to be cherished & doted - }}
to be understood - }}
[x] not to think too much - }}
no one nothing will stop me - }}
[x] not to be yixiangqingyuan - }}
[x] be cared and concerned - }}
no heartbreaks - }}
[x] not be cheated - }}
[x] not to be zhizuoduoqing - }}
[x] be missed - }}
no medication - }}
w 900 i - }}
N 80 - }}
MP3 - }}
2 GB MMC for w900i - }}
plastic cover for w550i - }}
new headset for w550i - }}
new pierce - }}

Jessica aka kakacrunch }}
Jayven aka toot^kia `baby }}
YeeKuan aka Angeline `mei }}
shaun aka kai xin guo }}
KY- aka fei mao }}
Val 09 aka cOwkimOo `kor }}
k-zai aka heimawangzi }}
Alison aka CrabisOn }}
Candy aka konghuilian }}
Jia wei aka lavanderr `nanny }}
Fanne aka Fannanna }}
kelson aka lemon boy }}
Rainy aka bbaby`x }}
Vashonz`14 aka xBabYx TigGeR }}
sinying`s happiness }}
What i did, for love.. }}

Afianne
37pence
Juvenile Casualty
Squared Pretties
Getty
 
October 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x]

Dunno why.. suddenly very hyper de.. den now.. suddenly very low liao.. i dunno whats wrong with me.. someone say, this is called depression?
i dunno and i don`t wanna know. *jia zhuang duo hao..* -listening to jolin de jia zhuang.
hmms.. nice song. but dunno how to sing yet.
haiis.. how how how? now suddenly so so low le.
feel like crying out like a small baby.
feel like shouting into my pillow like i used to.
feel like hammering the wall again..
feel like cutting -.-
sudden feelings.. i oso dunno why..
hmms.. jayven baby say i think too much le?
but the thing is.. i dun even know what the FU**ing hell am i thinking.

mayb i haven xi guan thing ard me bah.
i rely too much on ppl le. -.-
still so childish right? haven grow up? haiis yoo yoo.
i oso wanna be more mature ahh..
i oso wanna change ahh..
but very hard leh..
i`m still waiting..
waiting for the day my mr.someone finds me..
don`t mind if i`m childish and irritating..
crazy and mad..
sensitive and dominant.. xD

hmms.. someone asked me.. why i don`t dare to like other ppl..
now my ans is..
cos i don`t wan in the end i like de person don like me?
i`m crazzy. will think alot alot of things de.
so i don`t dare think so much now?
i want ppl to love me. but i don`t dare to love. very selfish? -.-
i dunno la.. cos i don`t wanna hurt myself le bah?
wo chen ren.. wo xiang le hen duo. -.-
but den.. yah.. lols.. nvm nvm..
dun need think too much de bah?
think le hai bu shi same? world still gotta rotate..

i asked someone to cheer up this morning..
talked bout damm lotsa thingiees..

-u smiled when u`re taking pictures..
u smiled when u`re in front of yr friends..
u smiled when u`re standing in front of a mirror..
but..
are u really happy?
all that`s jux a fake image of u..
i know u`re sad..
even the strongest metal in the world wld rust..
sometimes.. i just feel like breaking down..
curl up..
laying in the dark dark corner with wind blowing into my face..
it wld feel cold..
but tears wld dry up..
someday.. i`ll let u know..
i`ll live on even witout u..
no heartbeat..
no palse..
no sence of touch..
no sence of laughter..
no sence of taste..
but even so.. i cld taste my tears..
it feels sour yet salty..
i feel like cutting.. but my penknife`s gone for good..
i feel like punching the walls around me.. is anyone gonna stop me?
is anyone happy when i do so?
i want to break down..
i want to cry my heart out..
but i have no reason to do so..-

____ * [[ * ben ben de ben nu ren * ]] * ____

I WANNA DIE NOW~ don`t wan blog le.. BYE!
and for yr info.. SOMEONE KILL MY MOM TOO!! MAKE HER SHUT UP!!

7:57 AM

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