Friday, July 28, 2006
Zhen de hao tong ku.
cannot cut. cannot punch. all i could do is seek for attention. like val said. i`m so attention seeking. in school i cried during recess cos i can`t take it anymore. she`s not replying my sms. it`s not that she`s busy, though i always tells myself that she`s just too busy to sms me. i looked at my hp and make sure i see every single sms and picks up every single phone calls. But non of them are from u.
Was so happy when u smsed me ytd night. although it was just asking about my blog that bung who called in the middle of the night. but found out that, u wanted me to forget about u? u didn`t want me to waste my time. i don`t think that it`s a waste of MY time. if u think u wasted time on me, then, for u, i will let go of u. let u go to the place u really want to be. But thats only cox i understand that, for someone who loves u, but u don`t. it`s rather irritating sometimes. Sometimes, u might be thinking, why the one i don`t love, loves me. the one that i love, doesn`t? well, thats me last time. Waiting for ex. i waited real long too. from the 7th or 8th months of my last r/s, i don`t feel her love anymore. i waited for her love to come back. 7 months for her i`ve waited. But in the end, i got over it -.-
Ppl tried to tell me. she sure got feelings for u de. don`t think too much. have confidence! but truth is, i do not dare to know. i`m afraid that the ans i get is not what i expected. u always asked me to find someone better. u said u aren`t good at all. but, how better can i get? i`m not like the other girls which is yr type. i know it myself. i`m FAT UGLY SENSITIVE STUPID AND IRRITATING!! i want to get aneroxia. i want to forbid myself from food too. but no matter what i do, i remembered yr sms. u said that, if my mood`s good and good appittite is cox of u miss me. but if i don`t have good mood or no appittite is cox when u missed me, i didn`t miss u. and.. yes.. i missed u alot. i don`t have good appittite now. my emotions are running wild. sometimes felt hyper. sometimes felt like crying. and i did cry. in front of ppl. catching their attention.
this is what my horoscope says:
You can see what needs to be done, so do it. There's no sense in waiting any longer.
The simple, silly problems all around you keep you active all day long. You're on a solo crusade to make everything work perfectly and look beautiful, and you're going to have a very successful day. Things like a crooked painting, a messy room and dirty dishes in the sink don't stand a chance with you around. You'll see what needs to be done and quickly do it -- because what's the point of waiting any longer? There isn't a drop of procrastination in you right now.
i don`t understand at all. In msn, KYKY- pmed u. di siao u. after which u sign out. or u blocked me. hmms.. i tried real hard to let u know a bit of how i`m feeling now. but i don`t seem to dare say everything out. like ytd night, when u said u wanted to know how i felt. i have 2 sms.. but i only sent one. like aaron kor said, i should have jux told u that "i love u" lahs.. or things liddat. but i`m passive !! and i do not dare. i know how u`re going to respond. u`ll not reply me if it`s sms. u`ll offline mayb if it`s msn. haiis!! i`m not good in expressing myself. but now, tonight. i`m emo..
wo zhen de hai bu xiang li kai. wo bu xiang zhi dao san ge yue hou hui zhe me yang. wo zi ji ye bu dong zi ji yao de shi she me. wo bu gan shuo cu lai. yin wei wo dong, ni yi ding hui you xie di fang, bu ming bai de. wo ben, wo sha, wo yi xiang qing yuan, zhi zuo duo qing. zhe jiu shi wo, zhen zheng de wo. ming zhi dao xin ai de ren bu ai zi ji. zhai xin ku de zhen zha zhe. ke shi, bu xiang wei nan ni. you bu yao fang qi ni. hen guo fen de xi guan le ni. xi guan mei tian you ni de xun xi. xi guan ni jiao wo ben dan zhu tou. xi guan deng ni chuan xun xi gei wo. xi guan ni jiao wo qu du shu. xi guan hen duo hen duo. peng you ju hui shi, hui gen ni shuo, yin wei wo xiang ni qu. wo xiang jian ni. wo bu gan zhu dong, yin wei wo bu gan. wo mei yong. wo shi hua chi. yi dian dian xiao shi jiu lao lao ji zhu. ran hou jiu hen kai xin de, zhi dao ni ma wo ben wei zhi. hen tao yan ni de 'stm'. she me dou wang le.
ke neng, xian zai, wang le ni shuo guo de hua, zhuo guo de shi, dui ni lai shuo hen jian dan ba? ke shi dui wo, que shi yi ge jian nan de kao yan. jin tian, wo mei you ge shou. zhi shi yong zhi jia zhua dao shou ma bi wei zhi. bu shi xi wang ni kan jian. zhi shi, wo bu neng, ye bu dong de yao zhe me kong zhi zi ji de qing xuu le. wo xiang shen yi chang da bing, ba zi ji guan zhai jia li. na li dou bu qu. yin wei she me shi dou neng rang wo xiang dao ni. wo zhen de, bu yao zhai kan ni jiao wo zou. jiao wo fang shou. zhen de xiang zhai xi guan ni. zhen de hen xiang hen xiang ni. wo bu gan xin. bu gan xin ni na me hen xin. ni she de ba wo diu xia, yi ge ren li qu. hai she de jiao wo fang shou, wang le ni. she de ji tian dou bu sms wo. nan dao, ni zhen de mei you zai xiang wo le ma?
Post in chinese le. hmms.. feeling a bit emo now. lols. tearing :(
i`m not going to translate le. lazy to do so. anything can jus call my hp. i`ll read it out bahs. hmms..
Played baminton with aaron, val, al, yeekuan, KY-, jiawei.. hmmms.. aaron made my run quite a bit bahs.. body ache xD mei you yong. lols. then.. shaun didn`t come in the end. haiis..
chuan chern burned techno de CDs for me. thx alot.
today is candy de bday. happy bday ahh! ^^ mom de cakeshop so fucked up now. late for 1/2 hr for the cake. made everyone waited sooooo long. then got caught in the rain. now, finally, headache liao. then..
After batminton, they come my hse wait for me bathe and eat den go sunplaza. hmms.. BUT THEN!! cos yeekuan de eye too big liao.. bu xiao xin DIAO dio 2 lians. -.- in the end they so childish de. call one big group follow here and there. childish sia. we go down buy drink say we ham ji. they oso ham wad. dare not come to us and confront huh? hmms.. biggest gang in sg is police lohs!! lols. in the end we went in arcade, then 3 lians bang val. den val du lan liao. they still laugh laugh. -.- wu liao. act as if BU XIAO XIN de. but then we know is gu yi de. -.- then my HP rang. baby called. walked out and tok. then at 1st got ppl shouted dunno baby got hear not -.-
"lian ooh! ka dian wei liao eh! wa kia kia!!" means.. "ah lian ooh!! call others liao eh ! i`m soo scare!!" -.- HELLO~ GANGSTERS~ IS BABY CALL ME DE OK!! -.- PLS WEAR SPECT IF U NEED IT! (1 of them wears contact) HAHA~
at 1st when went in arcade they oso di siao siao.. "wah chio bu ah !! CHIO GE LAN LAH!! CHIO LAN LAH CHIO!!" as if they chio -.- yah lah. more chio then us de. but oso not chio -.- dots. hmms.. didn`t wanna stir up matters cox we believe that we have better things to do then that !! lols.. then.. bang bang thing.. den hp call thing. -.- so wu liao. spoilt our moods. everyone went home. lols!! injure dio hand. left de middle finger. haiis! right de tumb. haiis! left de arm. whole arm orh cheh!! omg. lols.
when KY pinch time is numb cox of scratch de thing. but then pinch till skin seperates from flesh le lah!! the pain slowly rushed up! it`s like.. haaaaa~ pain.. but heart more pain. cried alot in sch. even me and val break oso not so much tears in sch -.- what happen to me !! lols.
KY and me siao siao liao. ppl celebrate bday. after that in canteen so sobbish!! lols. listen to those sad sad de song. then cry til bu xiang yang. val oso say.. u cry she know le she oso hack care u !! u stand in rain she oso dun care u !! cos she wan me forget her mahs.. so no matter what she oso won`t hui xin zhuan yi le bah?
wo ye bu zhi dao ta dao di you mei you xi huan guo wo. you mei you xiang yao yi xin yi yi ai wo. -.- yin gai mei you. wo na me cou! T.T
wo yao suo de.. yi jing suo le.. haiis!!
my inbox is filled with yr sms. my calender is my diary. anything happen, if lazy write, will cut short put in my calender. then won`t forget. haiis.. ppl who viewed this blog, means u`re close with me enough to know my pw. lols. can get my hp someday and read it. then u`ll know how much i`ve fallen this time. how i felt. for good.. what am i suppose to do now!!
still pending for her sms. :(
6:58 AM
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